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Transmisogyny - Blog Posts
Starting to think it's just straight up incorrect analysis to view terfs as even viewing trans women as men, and that they hate trans women for their masculinity (and by extention being characterized by hatred for men and masculinity). Instead, i think you have to view their comments on trans women and their bodies as intentionally and forcefully masculinizing a woman, excluding her from womanhood for not fitting into white women's beauty and body standards. Many people have noted that this is similair to how black women are historically and today masculinized in society, and indeed terfs commonly attack women of color for similair things. If it is about hating men it's noticable that they don't talk about men the same way, "men" are only ever a threat if she's a woman. Any other man is allowed to be an ally to the terf movement if he's "protecting women" (by excluding certain types of woman). It's misogyny, it's transmisogyny, everything about this structurally replicates the ways women are mistreated by society generally, and excluded from femininity, just lazerfocused on targeting trans women.
This blog is pro-cringe gay shit and anti-historical transmisogynistic caricatures
Somehow there are people on this website who can say “I’m a transfeminist” and also “it’s okay to misgender trans people if they disagree with me” and not realize they’re not really being transfeminist.
i cannot believe that in 2025
there are people on bluesky who proudly put on their profiles being "baeddel" like, that shit didn't work here in the 2010s tumblr (where it originated), so why the fuck are you trying to make it come back, lmao
actually i wouldn't be surprised if this-certain-group of trans ppl on bluesky are actually all baeddels but just not saying it out loud.
seeing them all still talking about "cissexual" privilege when refering to other TRANS ppl, the classic "you are trans but NOT REALLY trans like me", im just gonna say, be careful with this kind of thinking.
for context:
no, being "baeddel" is not good AT ALL. please, don't let anyone tell you otherwise bc, holy fuck, just read the whole thing and be wary. it's pretty much TERF rethoric, only trans version (also known as TIRF), lmao
i found out about this whole "baeddel" around the end of last year, and it was like "woah what the fuck??????" i had no idea this kind of shit happened. please, read it in full 😩😩
(edit: an updated version of this article is also here on tumblr!!)
So much pointless LGBT+ discourse could be avoided if people just stopped assuming they knew everything about the oppression OTHER identities face.
For example, if you’re nonbinary, you can absolutely talk about the struggles you’ve dealt with as a nonbinary person, and speak of the issues your community is dealing with. But if you’re not transfem, it’s not your place to comment on how transfem issues compare to your own.
And if you’re a trans woman, you should absolutely not be talking about how trans men “have it easier” or what transitioning is like for them, because you fundamentally don’t know! You’re not a trans man!
And it goes both ways- trans men shouldn’t speak on trans women’s issues! Binary trans people shouldn’t claim to know what it’s like to be nonbinary!
It even hearkens back to older varieties of discourse, like ace discourse. You saw non-ace people talking about what THEY thought being ace was like, because they believed that being LGBT+ themselves made them the arbiters of oppression.
Or hell, gay men claiming that lesbians had it sooo easy compared to what they went through! Like, man, how the hell would you know, you're not a lesbian!
Just. Stop! Stop talking about the assumed experiences of other people! Being one flavor of queer doesn’t mean you’re the expert on ALL queer oppression! LISTEN to other people, stop talking over them!
I think if people accepted this, 90% of stupid online identity discourse would vanish overnight.
white t girl i love you. and also do not forget that you are not the modern martyr for the oppressed voice. that's still black girls. it's always been black girls. stories of black martyrdom simply don't make it into the news cycle until the unrest caused by its reporting can be packaged as a "riot" segment between traffic reports. i know you suffer, but whatever you're experiencing, i beg you, when interacting with your community and building nuanced understandings of each other and the system which binds us, to not forget that a black tgirl has felt it 100 times worse before positioning yourself as an authority on all systems of oppression for having suffered unjustly at all. because you have suffered unjustly, but suffering unjustly as a white person means something so much different.
I think at the end of the day, my opinion on all flavors of LGBT+ label discourse will always be: “If you do not belong to a community, you do not get to decide what words that community gets to coin and use.”
If you’re not ace, you shouldn't tell ace people they’re not allowed to use aspec or aphobia.
If you’re not intersex, you shouldn't tell intersex people they’re not allowed to use intersexism or CAGAB.
If you're not a trans woman, you shouldn't tell trans women they can't use the word transmisogyny.
If you’re not a trans man or transmasc, you’re not allowed to tell them they can’t use transandrophobia. And you certainly can’t redefine the word to suit your arguments against it.
Hell, even if you are a part of a community, you don’t get to decide what words OTHER PEOPLE can use.
I’m agender. I don’t like it when people refer to me as an “enby” bc I’m not a huge fan of the word, but it’s not my place to tell other nonbinary people they’re not allowed to use it just because I personally dislike it.
You’d have to be a grade-a asshole to think otherwise.
I go to school board & city council meetings regarding trans rights, and something I noticed is that almost every single transfem student who has gone up to defend their right to use the women's lockers & bathrooms has reported being sexually assaulted in school, often multiple times, by cis men & boys.
And yet, what is taken more seriously is the single cisgender girl who went up to speak about her discomfort with trans girls in the lockers & bathrooms. Not danger. Not harm. Not trauma. Discomfort.
The cisgender girl spoke about how she was not comfortable, wheras the transgender girls spoke of how they were not safe. I am somehow supposed to believe these are of equal severity? Eat a fucking brick.
I kinda love it when bigots act like getting reported and removed from tumblr is such a betrayal and PROOF everyone on the site is out to get them, personally.
No, trust me. You tell trans women to kill themselves, you call trans men and nonbinary people cuntboys and theyfabs, all while harassing other queers you don’t like- getting your blog deleted is the kindest thing you deserve.
Trans transphobes are traitors to the LBGT+ community. Stay away from my brothers and sisters and siblings. We don’t want you here.
Maybe if your blog is gone you’ll spend less time online. Touch some grass. Become a less shitty person.
(I hope it goes without saying, but this is obviously not about the innocent trans women who get randomly deleted from the site because it’s run by raging transmisogynists.)
fun fact! the coiner of the term transmysogyny supports a word for discrimination against trans men.
what the actual fuck...
Being part of a marginalized group does not give you a free pass to say bigoted things about another marginalized group.
i'm going to keep banging this drum forever, stop treating groups of marginalised people as "sides" in discourse. stop saying you distrust trans women because of the evil hysterical transradfems. stop saying you distrust non-binary people because of the evil privileged theyfabs. stop saying you distrust trans men because of the evil MRA transandrobros. stop saying you distrust intersex people because of the evil transphobic cis invaders.
stop hearing people complain about bigotry with no comment on who the person perpetuating it was and imagining a marginalised person in your mind. stop justifying bigotry against others because it's against the "side" of discourse that you personally dislike. stop assuming everything a certain marginalised group talks about has to do with whatever petty discourse you're involved in. stop tolerating blatant bigots because you see them as "on your side".
if it's getting to a point where online discourse is so important to you that it influences how you view marginalised people who have done nothing to you, then maybe it's time to log off for a while and start hiking or knitting or something, mostly because it just can't be very good for your health to constantly prime yourself to be anxious or angry around everyone you meet.
Say it with me:
If you go out of your way to harass and argue with trans women, you deny them their right to discuss their oppression, and you only ever see the worst in them, you being
Transphobic!
Now, if you go out of your way to harass and argue with trans men, you deny them their right to discuss their oppression, and you only ever see the worst in them, you are still being
Transphobic!
And of course, if you go out of your way to harass and argue with nonbinary people, you deny them their right to discuss their oppression, and you only ever see the worst in them, you are (yet again) being
Transphobic!
No, it doesn't matter if you're a trans woman, a trans man, or nonbinary yourself! You're still being a bigot. Unlearn your internalized transphobia and play nice with the other queers. The fascists hate all of us, stop doing their work for them.
the worst part about the tma/tme binary is that even julia serano, the person who LITERALLY COINED THE WORD TRANSMISOGYNY, isnt entirely sure about using them. quote from her essay “What Is Transmisogyny?”:
“Part of why I’m writing this now is that I’ve seen the term increasingly debated online lately. These debates are often centered on the more recent terms TMA (transmisogyny affected) and TME (transmisogyny exempt), which I did not coin. I have no objections to TMA and TME per se — they seem like potentially useful non-binary- and non-identity-based ways of discussing the phenomenon. But I’m admittedly not familiar with everything that others are saying or claiming under this newer rubric, so there may potentially be some points of disagreement.”
and again, quote from her essay “On “Male Socialization” and the “Trans Masc Versus Trans Fem” Discourse™”:
“When I first saw the terms “transmisogyny affected” (TMA) and “transmisogyny exempt” (TME), I thought they were potentially useful nonbinary and non-identity-based ways of discussing the phenomenon. But sometimes, they seem to be used in response to the trans male/masculine reactions to transmisogyny that I described in the previous paragraph. And if you mistakenly presume that “transmisogyny” = “only trans female/feminine people experience misogyny,” then “transmisogyny exempt” will likely strike you as a doubling down on argument #2.”
(argument #2 was referring to an earlier point she made, arguing against cultural feminism (the idea that woman=good and man=bad) and how it implies (another quote, same article):
Trans male/masculine people are the victims of male oppression…Which, if true, implies that trans female/feminine people are “male oppressors.”
Trans female/feminine people are the victims of male oppression…Which, if true, implies that trans male/masculine people are “male oppressors.”
All trans people have been corrupted/poisoned by maleness/masculinity in one way or another, which, if true, means that we should all be lumped into the “male oppressor” category.)
.
Some advice on learning how to notice transmisogyny.
⚧️ Posts that imply that certain negative behaviors are unique to trans women. For example, claiming that trans women are uniquely transandrophobic (even though transandrophobia can be found in every community)
⚧️ Posts that imply that trans women are uniquely dangerous. For example, claiming that trans women get away with sexual assault because people are afraid to call her out for it
⚧️ Posts that treat trans women as a monolith. For example, implying that all trans women grew up on 4chan, or that all trans women treat trans men a certain way
⚧️ Posts that vaguely imply that a trans woman has done something evil. These posts will use word of mouth as "concrete" evidence for their claims, relying on the reader to jump to a transmisogynistic conclusion
yeah I mean I don't think I can add much more to this, just, use critical thinking and engage in being nuance pilled whenever you see takes online
Trans men do not have it easier than trans women.
Trans women do not have it easier than trans men.
Right now, trans women are dealing with hypervisibility. This means these women are the target of a shitton of gross caricatures and blatant transmisogyny in the news and in media. This means lawmakers will name trans women directly as they ban feminine transition and try to wipe them from existence. This means you can’t go a day without hearing about the horrible things happening to trans women all over the world.
Right now, trans men are dealing with invisibility. This means these men are the target of hate crimes that are never reported, or are reported as violence against women. This means lawmakers can sneakily ban masculine transition under the guise of “preserving female fertility” and “preventing young girls from mutilating themselves”. This means their stories don’t get as much attention, even when trans men get murdered in broad daylight.
No, this doesn’t mean violence against trans women never goes unreported, or that anti-transmasc caricatures don’t exist.
One group does not have it easier than the other- instead, they face transphobia that is enacted and enforced by society in different ways. Claiming that one is "better" than the other makes you a transphobe and contributes to the problem.
For the love of fuck please just TALK and LISTEN to people outside of your own community.
(I am aware this is an extremely binary take on this- I’m nonbinary myself, but I haven’t seen as many people arguing that nonbinary people have it easier. I’m sure there are plenty, if I haven’t already blocked their sorry asses.)
honestly I hate how the "amazon basics skirt and thigh socks" thing went from an in joke that gently teased baby trans girls and encouraged them to get bolder and develop their own sense of style to a much more universal and mean spirited put down coming from people who don't understand how that phase of trying the easiest feminine clothes you can get your hands on in the safest place possible is nevertheless important for so many trans girls
calling trans women who support trans men and aren't anti-transandrophobia theory "pick mes" is INSANE. you cannot fathom that the vast majority of trans women outside of your tiny bubble on the internet actually care about trans mens safety holy shit
Hey we all know pronouns aren't a privilege, right?
It doesn't matter how "annoying" a trans person is, it doesn't matter if they disagree with you on some intracommunity issue-
Use the pronouns they have in their bio, or the pronouns they ask you to use. Even if you really don't like them, or you think they're problematic.
Your comfort with somebody's pronouns isn't a factor. Using ANY other pronoun for a user that prefers it/its is misgendering. Same with neopronouns. If you can't manage it, don't talk to it.
Oh and just to be clear-
Claiming that a trans woman's account is actually "run by a man" is misgendering. Saying a trans man's blog is part of some "secret terf circle" is misgendering. Pretending a person is actually your oppressor in disguise so you can misgender them is, get this, misgendering!
I don't care how much you dislike someone, use the right fucking pronouns.
Good lord. If you say a trans woman is secretly a man, you are misgendering her, which means you are being transmisogynistic.
It's not that complicated.
it's such a timeline we live in
Hi, I'm genuinely looking for an explanation here and not looking for an argument /srs
Can you explain how calling a transfem a TERF for spreading ideology that I genuinely assumed was included in the definition of TERFism is othering ? Not to be that guy, but I'm autistic and I'm having a very hard time connecting the points you're making, and I genuinely want to learn and understand what you're saying /gen
Again, I do hope this doesn't come off as hostile, I am genuinely trying to learn and understand better, and I want to be able to fix misconceptions about what a TERF is in my own mind, and I haven't seen anyone bring this point up before /gen
You absolutely do not have to answer this, but I hope you have a fabulous rest of your day, and I do apologize for what I said, as it wasn't necessary for me to comment on the situation.
Yeah totally! Okay, I got a lot of this from Ibram X. Kendi's "How to be Antiracist"* where he talks about describing "racist" as an identity means that hardly anyone is going to ever "identify" with it, even if they are a racist. It's much more helpful to talk about actions being racist or anti-racist. Someone committing racist acts speaks far more to the vulnerability of anyone to cause harm, rather than it being something ONLY reserved for someone with the identity of "racist". For example, Clarence Thomas, a black man, has done untold amounts of harm to the black population in the US. If we subscribe to the "oh, (X) can't be racist, they are (a minority)" train of thought, it means people are less likely to understand that Clarence Thomas commits racist acts. In the same way, describing yourself as an anti-racist is not enough, as it can let people be comfortable with racist actions because they think "oh, I'm an anti-racist, I can't commit acts of racial harm." That's why it's more helpful to describe acts as racist and anti-racist rather than framing them as identities.
In a similar way, describing someone as the label of "TERF" can have a similar effect. Because it's specifically a label centered around being anti-trans, transgender people of all kinds will easily assume they cannot be transphobic, because the label of TERF is ideologically opposed to their existence. It invites ridicule rather than introspection. By saying actions can be transphobic, I think it helps a lot more because it's easier to understand that trans people can be transphobic. For example, Blaire White is right there. Despite being a trans woman, she is actively doing transphobic acts. By calling out an action as transphobic rather than describing someone as a "TERF", it helps fight back against the idea that being trans means you cannot be transphobic. For a super duper simple example, I can step on my dogs tail, but it doesn't mean I hate dogs, it means I committed an act of harm against my dog. Describing me as a dog-hater when I LOVE dogs would invite ridicule more than it would a tendency to watch my step when my dog is in the house. I hope this makes sense!
*I'm not trying to say the Black and Trans experience is exactly the same, just that like any oppressed group, there is a lot of overlap in tactics and thinking, especially for people who are Black and Trans. Reading about other groups can really give you a ton of helpful insight on how to work within your own identity!
I’ve been going back and forth on posting anything rebloggable about Eden Knight, because simply posting something feels like…such a non-action. But it’s worse to say nothing at all, and the people who loved her clearly want her story to be known. So I’ll try.
A Saudi trans woman named Eden Knight died by suicide after her parents hired two American “fixers” and a Saudi lawyer to traffic her back to Saudi Arabia and forcibly detransition her. Her loved ones have put together a document about this tragedy in hopes that something can be done:
I feel like the cultural piece of this hasn’t get discussed, and i understand why; I’ve seen plenty of utterly sickening commentary from people who can’t be normal about the idea of a trans Saudi, but I feel I’m in a position to break the silence around this, as being a queer Arab myself, the nuances aren’t lost on me. So I’ll try that too:
Arab culture is patriarchal (like most cultures are), communal, and honor-based, which contributes to many Arab parents wholeheartedly believing that they own their children and that they need to control them to prevent any “dishonorable” behavior, even at the cost of death. This is not unique to Arab culture, and I’m really simplifying here, but this is why honor killings happen, and I think it’s remiss to not name the honor-based violence at play in what happened to Eden. She threatened her family’s honor by not adhering to the gendered role coercively assigned to her, and so they inflicted the conditions that led to her death upon her. And I can guarantee that, had her parents not had the money to hire some of their fellow monsters to destroy their daughter, they’d have recruited extended family to stalk her or found another way instead. Honor culture is self-policing.
It’s also remiss to not name the other forces that killed Eden: transmisogyny in both the United States and Saudi Arabia—the latter obviously being worse than the former, but fleeing to the former DID NOT PROTECT HER, so USAmericans can hold off from being smug about her being Saudi, thanks—and her migrant status. The State, capital-S, and its borders assisted Eden’s parents in this.
We need support networks that can actually help trans people with complex cultural/legal situations like this. We need support networks to prevent honor-based violence, which primarily impacts women and LGBT people of any gender. “Just cut off your parents” isn’t helpful when you’ve been raised to internalize this level of guilt and shame, and it especially isn’t helpful when your parents are willing to find you and abduct you to protect their image. There needs to be SOMETHING to prevent tragedies as horrific as this. I can’t say I have the answers. But there needs to be some understanding of how far this honor shit can go, how it can cross borders, and how even people who have found community outside their abusive families can still be very vulnerable to it.
I’m so sorry, Eden. You deserved the world. Rest in peace.
Trans politician Zooey Zephyr is getting twittercanceled by the right for tweeting horny Genshin Impact fanart. This is in fact a real thing that’s happening. Say what you want about the Republican Party but they provide some absolutely mind-numbingly bizarre moments.
I'm sorry who's getting what for what now
"terfs infantalise trans men while painting trans women as predatory" is such an annoying take because, yes part of it is true. but terfs have also called trans men "the final solution for women", they do also paint us as predatory! and they do infantilise young trans girls in really gross ways! they just rarely mention what they think of older trans men, most of their public-facing rhetoric around us centers on young people.
the more accurate statement then is "terfs tend to infantilise younger trans people while painting older trans people as predatory", with the following caveats: - being neurodivergent in any way lands you in the "younger" category in their minds because they're ableist fucks. - anecdotally i've found this is not necessarily reflective of age when it comes to public figures specifically, and more of how recent their coming out as trans was. - they will gladly break this to score points in public debates, though if you're in a position to get it out of them you'll find their actual thinking aligns with it. this is a well-known strategy called lying.
and i feel it's worth noting both because the predatory "tropes" around trans men are slightly different from those around trans women, and because the infantilisation of trans girls is something i rarely see talked about while being just as gross as anything else here.
remember kids the answer to the question "why do trans people always target WOMEN & WOMENS things?" is "because its what cis people care about"
if you want to demonize a group, make them Scary (oft masculinized) Predators who are Coming For Innocent Women (objects to be protected). the "trans issue" crops up where cis people MAKE it an issue.
"men's healthcare" is an exclusionary term for healthcare needed by a lot of people. "father" should not be our only term for people who can impregnate others. but its so much easier to rally the troops to protect the weak, innocent, defenseless property, so thats where the money is.
oh also: this applies to stuff like "why are there no BI GAYS?" which is based in the same logic. there ARE and have always been bisexual gay men, and there continue to be. the only reason you have only heard about bi lesbians is because gay men's spaces just are not as defensive about Invaders To The Identity, even if that prejudice still exists on some level sometimes. this is such an annoying thing to hear because its said like some intelligent statement and its just biased information
ppl pulling the 'just let people enjoy Wizard Game' are often met with 'JKR funds anti-trans groups!' and that's. entirely true. but doesn't actually go far enough.
like if you're on team Let People Enjoy Wizard Game hey. did you know. that in my city RIGHT NOW JKR is sole funder and key board member of an unregulated private agab-policed rape crisis shelter set up specifically to Own The Transes
and which now sits on several gendered violence prevention boards alongside representatives from the (publicly funded and accountable) existing Rape Crisis Centre, against the staff of which her friends and followers have been involved in a years-long harassment campaign purely and explicitly because they run trans-inclusive support services and bc their CEO is a trans woman of colour.
(my friend works there and the pure volume of transphobic harassment has caused several long standing members of staff to quit. which I'm really fucking angry about bc I would not be here today if the Edinburgh Rape Crisis Centre hadn't been there to help me)
and that on those boards they're known for supporting increased police harassment and approaches that disproportionately criminalise trans people, unhoused people and sex workers and provably don't positively impact the issue of gendered violence.
what I'm saying is that yes JKR funds anti-trans groups but she is also pretty directly involved in materials worsening conditions for vulnerable people at a local and personal level too!!!! she's running an unregulated crisis shelter out of spite and using that to legitimise her political lobbying!!!!!! fuck you!
terfs be like. i am going to tell you how to spot a trans woman. okay so if you think a woman is ugly you should harass them. this is beneficial to women