I Respect Your Right To Want To Fuck Mothman

"Maybe they're hoping the cow is in the market for a sugar daddy"

"Is that an actual certified citrus fact? Hey that's my band name."

“Karl Marx was a frickin’ babe.”

-A very strange person who was once sent the entire communist manifesto and just replied “hot”

“Smells like science...”

-A girl, with a great sense of smell, literally walking into the science lab

“Stop sending me memes!”

-My very frustrated computing teacher, who was definitely regretting telling us we were allowed to make memes

There is literally no difference between 4 and 3. You stop these lies

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.

People have been saying stupid stuff since language was invented and I don’t say anything so all I can do is listen, and I’ve been doing that my entire life, but the second I decide to post some of it, nobody say anything even remotely funny??

I should probably clarify that this was in a game

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

"Thank you for defending my honour, I'm the Loch Ness Monster."