I should probably clarify that this was in a game
Brother: He was in the way so we killed him
Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?
B: It gets worse…
M: …
B: …
M: …
B: We skinned him.
M: …
B: We needed the leather!
“She’s come out the closet!”
-My grandma... when I told her I was vegetarian
"Like, which part of this clusterfuck specifically?"
"My life is just a series of stupid hills!"
“I consulted the stars and they said fuck you.”
-Me
"Be right back while I confess my sins to the nearest priest!"
"I've been having horse flashbacks..."
“MEEEOOOWWWW!”
-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.
“I do NOT have slugs on my face!”
-Someone who, as I can confirm, did not have slugs on their face
“He’s such an overprotective mother hen sometimes.”
-My friend, while literally talking about Satan
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