Complex Ptsd - Blog Posts

This is exactly how I remember it.

A family vacation coming up

The day before we leave

She was super excited about it just yesterday,

But I noticed she seemed a little sad.

Today its just...distant.

Quiet...short responses...but most of all

The feeling 8n the air itself that terrible things are about to happen.

It's easier now, to see that it is probably my ptsd...

But it does confirm that there is ptsd to work through, and that makes me sad.

Because I'm fidgeting just hoping and praying and doing everything in my power to be kind and thoughtful and PERFECT

Because I trained myself for years to avoid the outburst I could never keep from coming.

TW

It's crazy how with a little bit of adhd and excelling grades you can convince everyone that Ur fine, even when Ur OD'ing.

vincent being afraid of doctors as an adult without really understanding why.

vincent feels the physical symptoms of anxiety, with unrationalised fear of the doctor that caused him to practically attack his doctor, who was then saved by a very concerned reeve.

they have to take him to cloud's doctor, who specializes in ex-SOLDIER care, in that his office looks unlike the labs in all ways possible. no coats, no mako tanks, and ecstatic consent with every action. cloud mostly only goes for emergencies, or when tifa and marlene bully him into it, but cid and reeve grew up on yearly doctor's visits. besides the fact that vincent has a more "dangerous job", the two of them worry about vincent's mysterious medical history.

eventually vincent puts it together that he's equating nibelheim's basement to doctor's offices, lucrecia's prodding to blood tests. cid and reeve insist they come with, and vincent doesn't need to come along to theirs.

Imagine a magical modern world where everyones ability is to manifest their personality/mental state/subconscious into a physical thing, and scientists find that theres a pattern within manifestations that allows doctors to diagnose people with a simple examination of their manifestation.

Trigger warning

And everything im about to list off would be traits if their abilities, not the actual abilities themselves

They stack, but are as powerful as the impact they have on the user

Narcs' manifestation would probably have something to do with themselves, or having themselves as the center

DID would probs be the ability to manifest multiple small/weak/incomplete symbolic (or not) things representing their alters or a single materialization of something cracked/split (necromancer except they bring to life their alters)

Id imagine depression would involve an ability with the perk to draw people in, like a siren

Anxiety would involve something to do with an unnerving type sensation, sounds, vibrations, disruptions, the sense of slowed or sped up time

Bipolar, a changing, fast, or sudden type ability

Ptsd/cptsd would probably have a flashing, sudden, or jarring type ability

Schizophrenia would be hallucinogenic, (that one spiderman scene from homecoming with that bastard man showing spidey things that arent real), aoe tyoe ability

Ocd maybe would have something to do with controllingness, intrusive/invasive actions (the itrusive thoughts in ocd becomes the premise of what happens to who ever their using their ability against? Idk ocd that well)

Phobias - depending on the phobia, the way you'd deal with what your afraid of being your ability. Arachnophobia - your ability being pest amd spider resiliant, agoraphobia - your ability having something to do with being able to hide somewhere safe that youve made (small portable inner world? Invisibility??)

ED; makes the person feel the opposite of their disorder (if the user has binge eating issues, then their power would make others feel empty/hungry/hollow; anorexia or restrictive would be like overwhelming the sense with a feeling of fullness, stuffiness, claustrophobia; etc)

Disassociative having something to do with an incredible europhoric/dream feeling or with an incredibly grounding, kind of like "oh yea i just remembered my entire life situation and cant escape" type feeling

ADHD either has something to do with the inability to have others activate their powers, control them well, or consistantly.

Addiction/substance abuse would be kind of like the helplessness, constant incessant need for something, anxiety, etc

Tw: abuse

Just survived a couple hours with my abuser while casually chitchatting around family. I need to run away.

Oh yes, this is a really helpful guide. It can also be helpful to non-autistics as well! Some symptoms of ASD can also cross over to other conditions like PTSD and ADHD. It’s important to recognize your limits and know when you need to step away!

Some things that tip me off when I’m getting overloaded are on this list, but disassociation and the freeze response can also be reactions of overload too. So can becoming mono-syllabic or non-verbal.

Another important thing: don’t belittle yourself for needing a break! Everyone needs one from time to time, even neurotypicals. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. If anything, knowing how to take time for yourself in stressful situations is a sign of good boundaries and good mental health! I wish more parents taught this stuff to their kids; so many meltdowns could have been avoided.

Clues to help you figure out if an autistic friend or loved one is in overload

Overload is basically the point where our Autistic brains can no longer handle input. It's not a meltdown or shutdown, but more of a mental checkout. Frequent overloads, however, can lead to meltdowns or shutdowns.

It's important not to assume that we will have overload only in loud or busy environments. Autistic brains often process information at a much slower pace than a NT brain, so even quiet environments can cause overload if something triggers it.

Note: not every autistic experience is the same and these are general guidelines only.

Common signs of overload:

Loss of facial expression or difficulties in making facial expressions. May start to exaggerate facial expressions, too, as they are struggling to mask.

Staring off into space, easily distracted, struggling to pay attention etc.

Increased stimming.

Difficulties in speaking such as stuttering, forgetting words, mixing up sounds, or difficulty speaking at all.

May try to cover their ears, eyes etc to sensory input.

Increased sensitivities and may include new or unique sensitivities.

Headaches or feeling physically sick such as sweating, stomach ache etc.

Fellow Autistics: what signs would you like for others to know?

notalgia is so strange because what do u mean i long for things that remind me of the worst times of my life?