R3v3rie - ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚ Reverie ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

i literally haven’t been up this late in years. this is insane. i have read so much fanfiction it’s ridiculous. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP PLS !!!!

i give up on caring about people

lmfao

very close to giving up. i feel like i need to go back to the damn ward. i hate that this is my life, and that none of it gets to be easy.

i am tired.

this.

I really thought I was on a good way to finally be okay, to be better as a person and mentally. But I haven't changed, I never will. This sickness has left my brain absolutely rotten, making me ruin every good thing I have.

I feel so helpless and cannot keep living like this. I know I'm the problem. I'm the sickness. I'm no good. Everyone has left for the same reason.

it’s been two already, i wish i could hate him. i wish i could cry or do anything other than thwart the urges to find him and beg for him back in my life. he was bad to me, for so long. why can’t i hate him?

school and life is so draining, i just don’t even have the energy to write out my emotions. i’m just sick of being borderline and of being tied to [REDACTED] in this way. all i can do is keep praying and doing what i can, and maybe eventually through those i’ll get out of this damn labyrinth of suffering.

sachiel i won’t chase you, i don’t want to scare you off. just know that i miss you, and i don’t know how to show it. i don’t want to come on to strong, to tell you i still love you just as much as that summer day where we became real soulmates.

i miss you. just know i think of you often, and fondly.

the things I hate most in this world are myself and the fact that I’m still alive.

i also miss this girl who i loved with my absolute everything i had in me but i can’t ever write about her, the loss is too much, the gap between us feels too big,, i don’t know where to start with her- i never did. but Gods above that doesn’t mean that i don’t miss her often. i tried reaching out first but idk, don’t have the confidence to try again. i got angry with her recently due to my idiot boyfriend not explaining a situation well, and i always having a worse bark than my bite.

she was more than all the moons and stars in the universe, how could i ever not miss her? my absolute other half, twin flame, soulmate, my person.