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Ptsd - Blog Posts
‘91 Negaduck Headcanons
Had the same rough home life as Drake, but caved into his inner demons.
Had many(up to around 50) lovers but Nega-Morgana and Nega-Launchpad are the only ones he truly had an emotional connection.
Hates dogs because he was repeatedly attacked by them.
Takes his anger out on cute things because his father would violently beat him as a kid for liking “unmanly” things.
Killing or physically hurting children is the one thing Negaduck refuses to do.
Loves money to compensate for his extremely poor childhood.
Actually cared for Nega-Gosalyn but didn’t know how to show it, and was upset when the Friendly Four “took” her.
Pistachio ice cream is his favorite because it reminds of the last good time he had with his mom.
His natural voice is like Drake’s but he lowered it to be more intimidating.
Destroyed any record of him before he became Negaduck so no one will know his weaknesses.
Guys I had this idea of a short story about kirishima x fem!reader and I think you will find it sad and comforting!!
TW: anxiety, angst, PTSD.
‘Late nights with Kirishima’
A lil content before we start.
So y/n had been struggling with your mental health and anxiety ever since you got kidnapped by the LOV, they tortured you and made you feel pain nobody should ever feel. You have PTSD from being tortured, abused, starved, and verbally abused. You can’t even be touched by somebody else’s hands without flinching or having an anxiety attack about it. And at nights it is even worse… all the memories flash through your mind every time you close your eyes, it makes it unbearable to sleep…
Your boyfriend of 2 years Eijiro Kirishima, he is worried about you, you will barely talk to him about what you’re going through, you don’t want to worry him even more. And it’s not just you that is going through pain, also Kirishima, he went through a deep depression when you got kidnapped.
(Okay let’s get onto the story now lol sorry if that was too much context)
________________________________
You just couldn’t sleep. No matter how hard you tried to put your phone down, or just close your eyes for one second, all the memories just kept on flashing through your mind, the only way that you could keep your mind off it. Your breathing started to increase… “.in, out… in, out.” You told yourself, your panic attack already has begun and now shaking, breathing deep, tears falling down your face, ‘too hot..’ you though while taking off your shirt and throwing it to the side, your body was overheating, it made you nauseous.
You quickly look over to your phone ‘I need him…’ you thought to yourself, kiri always calmed you down. He always knows how to help.
A few minutes later you hear knocking on your door, “baby? Baby please let me in…I can hear you..” kiri was outside, you couldn’t breathe let alone even talk, how much you wanted to shout his name, scream for help… your lungs just couldn’t work properly. “Y/n..? I’m coming in!” He opens the door and sees you curled up on your bed, your phone brightened up the room with your text messages. Tears streamed down your face “k-kiri-“ you say shakily, that’s the only word you could even say, he looks at you, his messy red hair and his red eyes filled with tears, he wraps his arms around your waist and whispers into your ear “it’s okay y/n…just breathe for me okay?”, “breathe with me…breathe in..breathe out.. hold it for 4 seconds.” He says this until your breathing goes back to normal and your tears stop, “kiri…thank you so much. I couldn’t ask for m-more..” you hiccup. “Sweetheart, you deserve the world, I will always be here for you m’kay?..” he wipes away the stray tears off your puffy red eyes, “I love you so much kiri…” you murmur softly and hug him tightly.
“I love you too, sweetheart.”
This is exactly how I remember it.
A family vacation coming up
The day before we leave
She was super excited about it just yesterday,
But I noticed she seemed a little sad.
Today its just...distant.
Quiet...short responses...but most of all
The feeling 8n the air itself that terrible things are about to happen.
It's easier now, to see that it is probably my ptsd...
But it does confirm that there is ptsd to work through, and that makes me sad.
Because I'm fidgeting just hoping and praying and doing everything in my power to be kind and thoughtful and PERFECT
Because I trained myself for years to avoid the outburst I could never keep from coming.
Still artblocked but- IM MAKIN A FANFIC- yuh, the art’s by me- and the fanfic is just basically if master leonardo went back instead of casey so yeah- have fun
https://www.wattpad.com/story/319363171?utm_source=ios&utm_medium=link&utm_content=share_writing&wp_page=create_story_details&wp_uname=X_writes_shit&wp_originator=zZq97ZMqQ2z4nDcFol5SNp1DeYtYQUs5CLrMkmdk62jOC%2Fad4EmoPraSu%2BX5xw2kESMRckhGimoztStMPJ4RjPYP3w1Kb7amBu2f8%2BS2TpsBee20WQRmXVrXFxLGSo9J
That’s the link ^
Ps: sorry I don’t have ao3, it’s hard to use especially how I don’t know the system well
TW
It's crazy how with a little bit of adhd and excelling grades you can convince everyone that Ur fine, even when Ur OD'ing.
“You Wretched. Little. PEST!”
Hiiiiiii I’m back so soon lol. Here’s the slightly longer version of my previous post, “Leo, can you hear us?” :)
This one is definitely angstier and the art style a little darker, but I had fun with it. Golly, I wish so much that they had a healing arch for rise after the invasion! But oh well, fanart, comics, and fanfics will have to do. Besides, it gives our imaginations a chance to run wild!
Let me know what you think! I hope you enjoy it!
“Leo, can you hear us?”
Hey guys! Welcome to my first little comic strip! It started out with just Leo by himself in a corner and just one picture, but a mishap gave me inspiration to turn it into a comic, lol. And besides, who doesn’t want more Rise Leo angst?? (Rhetorical question)
Please enjoy! I hope you like it :)
(BTW I might come out with a longer comic version of this with more slides, but I wanted to release the short version first. Idk, I like the simplicity of this one but have ideas for more Kraang torment. Let me know what you think!)
EDIT: longer version is out! Go check it out if you like a slightly darker tone than this hehe (next post, titled “You wretched. Little. PEST!”)
Mikey lore (mostly just ptsd tho)
Its early o clock, I'm here unable to sleep after 4 hours like a crazy person. I made 2 videos last night for my channel but I'm not sure why. I think it's mostly because I'm trying not to think of depression quest type shit my husband put me on. He brought up that he'd be crushed if we can't have a child, on top of bringing up the ages of both of our cats.
He has autism, so he kind of gets to bring up the stuff that I don't want to think or talk about it. I dont bring up a lot of my thoughts that bother me because I got some trauma, and only a few people are on my white list. You'd think a husband would be on it, but he's very emotionally sensitive, and I can't put his feelings first when I'm having my own. I'll deal with the negativity first of my feels, and then I'm in a better place to talk to him.
I dont and do mind it. I'm just in a weird place. I don't like to bring up the PTSD thing, but it adds like a coat or filter onto everything.
He's done some things that are shitty, not terrible or traumatizing, but I can't talk about my feels to save his.
Off-topic, I love helping artists see news that effects them when it comes to the AI thing, but now I need to post things that aren't that on my other channel. I shouldn't need validation, though , but I do, and it's annoying.
Fml lol also..morning. the upside is hearing my cats makes the waking up noises.
"we need more ptsd representation in media!!!" and then they complain about atsushi's flashbacks
Before starting with the World Cup shit Ego should send the kids to (at least) one therapy session like, some of these boys are NOT okay.
Reo got into top 11 but that boy has pressing issues that blue lock might wanna get under control before putting him on the field. That kid's depressed.
Talking about depression, someone should check on Kunigami's ptsd and Rin's very obvious autistic tendencies.
Also, am I the only one who thinks Bachira has self-induced and self-cured schizophrenia?? He was bullied and alone so he made up an imaginary friend who happens to be a creepy ass soccer monster and then Bachi decides to be his own monster and the thing just disappears like-? I'm happy he got his shit together but I'd still have him mentally checked just in case.
And who knows what the fuck is wrong in Shidou's brain but you know something ain't right😭🤚
Happy Disability Pride Month to people...
Who have been diagnosed and been on treatment...
Who have not been diagnosed, but WANT treatment...
Who have been diagnosed, and know almost everything about their condition/disease/disability...
Who have not been diagnosed, and barely know their triggers or how it started...
Who talk about their disability, and make it a part of their identity...
Who don't talk about their disability freely, and might be too scared to make it part of their identity...
Who have been on a long and hard struggle and finally, FINALLY got into remission...
Who are still trying to get into some 'better' state...
Who have an invisible disability and don't 'feel disabled enough'...
Who have an invisible disability that has been over-dramatized and hear jokes about it constantly...
Who have been in remission for a while, and don't feel like 'enough' while talking to disabled peers...
Who have not been diagnosed, and sometimes feel like their experiences 'aren't enough' to warrant the disability...
Who have a physical disability, but didn't realize the mental toll it would have on them...
Who have a mental disability, but didn't realize the physical toll it would have on them...
Who got diagnosed rather young and have lived with their disability for most of their life...
Who are only just learning how to cope and live with their disability...
Just like me.
Happy Disability Pride Month, ya'll!
DC?? With actual recognition to mental health issues???
It’s a sprocking miracle
Oh. Oh Bart actually having PTSD from having died and getting flashbacks about his death. Oh. I like that. Still hate that they OoCed the Rogues into killing a child, but at least they don’t just have Bart shrug off his death.
Sometimes I just remember the one moment when I felt really cared for after a year of abuse from my 'best friend' and months of strained relationship with my parents after I had pushed them out during that year, then left them with the broken aftermath of their very traumatized, very expensive, daughter.
I was in the ER. Not a rare occurrence at the time. It was before one of my inpatient stays that year, but I'm not sure if it was the second or the third, they all blur together. I usually would have to spend a night there and wait for a bed to open up before being admitted, and that was how it went this time. In the middle of the night, I woke up with a nosebleed from the dry hospital air. I didn't really know what to do. Any normal person would get up and go to the nurse's station and get some tissues or something, but being a mentally ill child who was just yelled at by her mother the day before for saying she needed help because the hospital bills were already stacking up and going to the ER cost a lot of money, not to mention the inpatient stay, I didn't want to inconvenience the nurses (it's literally their job) so I just laid back with the back of my hand over my nose while I waited for it to stop. Swallowed a lot of my own blood, but I was already in such a horrible mental state, broken to my core to the point I wanted to leave mortality, that I could care less as long as nobody else was affected.
The bleeding stopped and I did the best I could to get the dried stuff off my hands by licking my finger and rubbing it off, but it was dark, so I couldn't really see if it worked. I went back to sleep and then woke up in the morning and did my usual ER routine of sitting in the dark because I didn't want to have to go out to ask the nurses to turn on the light (lightswitches weren't in the rooms for safety reasons or something idk). When one of the nurses came in to bring me breakfast, she turned on the light, but I didn't notice there was still dried blood on my hands and just ate my breakfast in silence because I never asked for them to turn on the TV. I always waited for them to suggest it since I didn't want to inconvenience them (again, it's literally their job to do that but I still felt bad asking). When she came back to take my tray, she noticed the blood and asked about it. It was only then I realized that blood on the hand of a mentally ill child in the ER because she could hurt herself is easily interpreted as literally anything other than a nosebleed. I panicked and started explaining myself, and to my relief she believed me and I wasn't put on a 1 to 1 (I had to experience that at some point later and it sucks). She left to go get me a wipe to clean it off.
She came back and I was sitting on the floor next to the weird little plastic round side table thing. I was expecting her to just throw it at me or something and leave me to clean myself up, but to my surprise she sat down in front of me and (after asking permission to touch me) started wiping my hands for me. She was just so careful and sweet about it. She called me 'honey' and it left me with a warmth in my chest that I hadn't felt in over a year.
It's kind of odd but I just look back at that memory with a weird sort of fondness. To her it was probably just a normal day on the job, but for me that moment meant so much. She was also probably just using it as an opportunity to look me over and make sure I was telling the truth about the nosebleed, but still. I was just this scared kid who felt like she was so worthless that she couldn't even ask a nurse to turn the TV on for fear that she would be loathed, and this woman went out of her way to lightly scrub the blood out of my nails.
Nowadays I'm doing better. My mental state has improved and I've been working on moving past that all, but I think that some time this past week was the 2 year anniversary of that day, and it just goes to show how far I've come. From being surprised and comforted by a psych nurse's gentle touch on my hands (the first human touch I had felt in months), to casual hugs with my friends and a year and 7 months out of the hospital as of yesterday.
Somehow almost all my poems make people cry. So either I'm:
One: a bad poet but my stories are sad enough that I can make people cry through bad poetry
Two: a good poet with stories that are just kinda sad but can be manipulated with words into beautiful poems that make people cry
Three: a good poet with sad stories that are enhanced through poetry to make people cry
Or four: a bad poet with stories that aren't sad and people are just crying because they feel bad that I'd choose to read them bad poetry
Either way, every time I read a poem to an audience, it seems like at least one person will cry or tell me they almost cried and had to actively hold themselves back.
Don't know exactly what to make of this. My poems are usually about my bad life experiences though, so I guess that probably plays a role.
Me: literally just chilling about to sleep
My brain: cooking up the most disturbing, detailed, horrible, gut-wrenching intrusive thought ever
Me: don't do it...
My brain: here's an image of your abuser sitting over your motionless body and eating through your flesh and organs. I made it myself.
Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:
#5 Kind Gestures
After spending so much time with either the absence of kindness from others, or with kindness always being conditional, you tend to forget the feeling of having someone truly care about you and be kind to you.
Depending on the situation, my brain will go into one of two modes when being showed kindness. I will either immediately become paranoid and worry about what I will need to do to repay it, or just completely short circuit and become confused.
The urge to repay tends to come when it's someone I don't know very well being kind, or when I'm given compliments. I start to wonder how I'm supposed to make the miniscule amount of energy that they need to use to be nice worth it for them.
When I react with confusion, it's usually either with someone who I know well or it's a really big gesture that means a lot. After being treated horribly for so long and having my sense of self-worth chipped away at, I sometimes have trouble comprehending why someone believes I am worth caring about and going out of their way to be nice to me.
Most of the time for them it's just something casual and simple, that they just feel is good to do, but for me it's a whole new healing experience every time. Getting past my initial confusion is hard, but it's worth it because once I can accept it, it opens an amazing point of view and helps me truly understand the fact that I am worth caring about (which is something people tell me and I try to tell myself, but is still hard to fully grasp)
The kindness of all these new friends I've met since I started high school is one of the biggest things I have to thank for aiding my recovery. Whether they've helped me through hard moments, or have just been a good friend to talk to and hang out with, these people and their kind gestures mean so much to me.
I think I might soon be kicked out by another therapist for being treatment resistant. I'm just really forgetful and can't make choices... Also the curse of wanting to feel better but not wanting to change anything because change is scary.
When the thought patterns are getting a little too recognizable:
Had my first PTSD flashback that I actually knew was a PTSD flashback. For the past like, 2 years, I've been having these random panic attacks where images of bad things that have happened to me pop into my head and feel so realistic.
Somehow I didn't realize it, but those are definitely actually PTSD flashbacks. And I didn't figure that out until last night, when I had the first big one I've had since I got diagnosed. Then it all clicked and I realized that like, half my panic attacks have actually been caused by PTSD flashbacks. So now I know I definitely filled out a few questions wrong on the questionnaire.
Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:
#4 Anniversaries
Trauma anniversaries are a hard thing to deal with. They can come from any sort of trauma/traumatic event, but mine are from my hospital stays and large arguments or events with my abuser. The hospital ones definitely suck, but they don't affect my everyday life as much as the abuse ones.
The hospital ones are mostly restricted to the past. I remember how I felt, or certain events that happened. Occasionally I get quick flashes of images in my head of what the place looked like. Yet overall, it's confined to the past and if I can manage the feelings or distract myself, I usually will be able to reduce the suffering until it goes away.
The abuse anniversaries are a whole different type of hell. Unlike the hospital trips, the events from the year or so with my abuser bother me constantly. Year round, 24/7. Not confined to moments of struggle or anniversaries, I get memories and bad thoughts all the time.
Anniversaries take that base level and crank it up to 1,000. My reactions to triggers get more and more violent, usually toward myself, but sometimes toward others. Any little trigger can set off my brain into unimaginable terror. It also affects my thoughts on myself and how I act. I become more startled by people treating me nicely, and just have the feeling that I don't deserve anything other than emotional torment from others.
These anniversaries affect my emotional health and my social life horribly. One specific example is the time I went on a midnight walk with some friends at a sleepover. We passed by my old middle school, where most of the events took place. This was on or near the anniversary of one of the worst fights I had with my abuser. When we got back to my friends house, I was a little stirred, then two hours afterwards, I had a terrible meltdown. Everyone around me was very kind, but it definitely felt horrible.
This time of year, I'm dealing with the anniversary of the day I fully fell into my abuser's trap. I'm questioning all my interactions with others and scanning my every move as to not bother anyone. If someone around me feels bad, or apologizes, or seems off in any way, I put the blame onto myself.
I wish I could frame this one as a more positive, uplifting, never-give-up type of post, there isn't really a way I can do that in my current stage of recovery. I guess all I can say is; trauma anniversaries are valid triggers, and if you know a friend or loved one is approaching a hard time of year for them, be kind and supportive. Trauma affects many people in many ways, and not everyone experiences it the same way, but the best thing to do is show kindness and compassion.
Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:
#3 Real friendship
Due to my abuse coming from someone who I considered my 'best friend', as opposed to a partner or family member, after I broke out of the cycle of abuse, I had troubles with friendship.
I had become pretty separate from my friends I had before him, and I never thought I would ever actually need someone other than him anymore, so I didn't really try very hard to have other friends. At the end of that friendship, I had just entered a new little friend group because of my boyfriend, and I was also in a musical where I had found three people I really vibed with. Two of them are still some of my closest friends to this day.
Regardless of my shaky little support system, I still had a lot of trouble navigating friendship. I'm autistic and had just gotten out of one and a half years of covid isolation before I dove into an abusive friendship, so my social skills were not very great. The only two roles I knew in a friendship were leader and follower. As I tried to navigate friendships that weren't meant to hurt someone, I found myself making people uncomfortable a lot. I didn't know what to do or say, and I would go between either being really self centered or obsessing over the other person. I would hurt people without realizing and I became pretty isolated.
I spent most of the one year after leaving my abuser like that. I desperately tried to reach out and get people to enjoy my presence, but nothing I did seemed to work. It didn't help that I had gotten a silent reputation the year before when I pushed people away and blindly followed and backed up someone who everyone else could tell was a complete dickhead.
The one person who stuck by my side was my best friend. She took me under her wing and taught me some of the ways that friendship was supposed to look. I still have the memory ingrained in my mind of the one day we were in her basement building things with Lego, and she referred to me as her 'bestie'. I nearly broke down crying. My abuser had weaponized that term against me near the end of our friendship, saying that he hated when I called him my best friend. Hearing her say that was one of the most blissful moments of my life.
The next year, I decided to go to a different high school than pretty much everyone else from my middle school, including all the people I was friends with. I felt that I needed a clean slate, but I didn't really give myself one. I tried making friends, but after feeling even the slightest amount of push back from anyone, I would retreat. This left me with some people I didn't vibe with that well, but wouldn't reject me.
I stayed like that for a while, and was slightly miserable. I'm still not sure how it happened, but eventually near the end of the school year, I found my people. My friends right now are absolutely amazing people. I still mess up a bit, but I'm finally learning how real friendship works.
Navigating non-toxic relationships can become really hard after being in an abusive situation. It takes years, and many screw ups, but it's possible to become a better person surrounded by good people. As I continue to try and improve myself, I find that more people want to be around me. Improvement is possible, and will bring so many amazing new things into your life.
Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:
#2 Tough Love
Recently, I've been finding myself thinking about the concept of 'tough love'. That is one of the terms I used to describe the abuse and manipulation before I fully accepted that I had been abused. But the thing is, what he did was not love.
Love is not being judgemental. Love is not being brutally 'honest' about someone else's flaws because they should fix them.
Love is making sure someone is cared for even if they don't ask for it or are a bit apprehensive. Love is when my friend noticed I was acting a bit different and asked me when I last drank something. After I told her I didn't know, she told me I should drink something. I refused and said I was fine, but she still went and bought me a bottle of water and made me drink it in front of her.
I feel like the term 'tough love' isn't really a term that should be used in the first place though. Even though there are situations like that, where it seemingly fits the term and is actually okay, it's still a slippery slope into justifying abuse.
If people would point out that my abuser was being really harsh to me, I could say it was just because he cared. It was because he wanted me to improve as a person so I could do better. His punches and kicks and yelling and degrading were just his way of saying he cares. It's 'tough love'. This term helped catch me, and I'm sure many others as well, into the cycle of justifying the actions of my abuser. It let me believe it was my fault for feeling hurt from what he did.
I think it might be time to retire this concept. Yes, sometimes you need to be a little pushy to make sure someone you love is cared for, but even then, you still should be kind. Honestly, that doesn't need its own term. It's just being caring. We don't need any more ways for victims caught in the throes of abuse to try to justify it.
Confessions from an emotional abuse victim:
#1 Attention
Sometimes I find myself wanting love and attention, then reprimand myself because a person in my past told me it was wrong. But I have finally realized that human connection is a basic need in life for most people. I shouldn't feel guilty for getting sad when I don't have many opportunities for human connection.
I've gotten so used to either being completely reliant on one person or completely reliant on myself and forgot that there is a different way to live. I can have multiple people I get my connection from without still feeling isolated. I just needed to find the right people while in the right mental state.
I just need someone to hold me while I cry sometimes. Crying/panicking alone makes me feel too much like I'm going to die from suffocation. I just need someone to hug me and tell me it's gonna be okay.
...well that's a new memory that I just unrepressed.
That's definitely something that a 12 year old me was told and repeated to herself whenever something happened...
I tend to think that it wasn't so bad and that I've remembered all the big bad stuff but I guess I haven't. Leads to the memory of my twelve year old self admiring her friend because he's using tough love and he's so honest to her about how bad of a person she is and helps her fix it.
(She didn't really do anything wrong, but he yelled at her about it and hit her)
Happy Pride Month, Mens Mental Health Month, and PTSD Awareness Month to all
I am in the middle of rewatching the 2003 version of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles during my summer break from college, this time with my father, who had only seen bits and pieces of it when I watched it as a child. We are currently on season four, which fans often refer to as the "post-traumatic stress disorder arc" for Leonardo, as it depicts his mental deterioration and increasing anger, even surpassing that of his notoriously hot-headed brother.
While doing the dishes, I asked my father what he thought of the arc so far. He simply said, "He seems angry." I agreed, replying, "Yeah, he's angry at himself." My father responded, "Yeah, but he's also angry at his brothers." This made me pause. I knew Leonardo had moments where he was upset with his brothers for not training enough or for goofing off, but I had not thought of him as being outright angry with them.
Then my father elaborated, "He's angry because they're not perfect, like he expects himself to be." This was a revelation for me. I had always interpreted this arc as Leonardo being angry at himself for not being good enough, but it makes a lot of sense that if he holds himself to such a high standard, he would hold his brothers to the same—and get frustrated and angry when they inevitably do not meet it.
I think a less explored aspect of this arc is that Leonardo is exhausted from carrying the burden alone and was trying to share it with his brothers. However, they do not carry it the same way he does, which does not make them lesser—it just makes them young and still wanting a life outside of crime fighting. Michelangelo captures this sentiment best in the same season when he says,”I think all of you should just lay off the poor guy. I mean, it can't be fun. Always being the responsible one, and we’re the ones who really benefit. Raph's free not to think cause Leo does all the thinking for him, Don's free to dream, And I'm free to take it easy, all cause Leonardo is busy being responsible enough for all of us.”
Anyway, at the ripe age of twenty-two and in graduate school, I find myself once again feeling melancholic over little green guys.
Imagine a magical modern world where everyones ability is to manifest their personality/mental state/subconscious into a physical thing, and scientists find that theres a pattern within manifestations that allows doctors to diagnose people with a simple examination of their manifestation.
Trigger warning
And everything im about to list off would be traits if their abilities, not the actual abilities themselves
They stack, but are as powerful as the impact they have on the user
Narcs' manifestation would probably have something to do with themselves, or having themselves as the center
DID would probs be the ability to manifest multiple small/weak/incomplete symbolic (or not) things representing their alters or a single materialization of something cracked/split (necromancer except they bring to life their alters)
Id imagine depression would involve an ability with the perk to draw people in, like a siren
Anxiety would involve something to do with an unnerving type sensation, sounds, vibrations, disruptions, the sense of slowed or sped up time
Bipolar, a changing, fast, or sudden type ability
Ptsd/cptsd would probably have a flashing, sudden, or jarring type ability
Schizophrenia would be hallucinogenic, (that one spiderman scene from homecoming with that bastard man showing spidey things that arent real), aoe tyoe ability
Ocd maybe would have something to do with controllingness, intrusive/invasive actions (the itrusive thoughts in ocd becomes the premise of what happens to who ever their using their ability against? Idk ocd that well)
Phobias - depending on the phobia, the way you'd deal with what your afraid of being your ability. Arachnophobia - your ability being pest amd spider resiliant, agoraphobia - your ability having something to do with being able to hide somewhere safe that youve made (small portable inner world? Invisibility??)
ED; makes the person feel the opposite of their disorder (if the user has binge eating issues, then their power would make others feel empty/hungry/hollow; anorexia or restrictive would be like overwhelming the sense with a feeling of fullness, stuffiness, claustrophobia; etc)
Disassociative having something to do with an incredible europhoric/dream feeling or with an incredibly grounding, kind of like "oh yea i just remembered my entire life situation and cant escape" type feeling
ADHD either has something to do with the inability to have others activate their powers, control them well, or consistantly.
Addiction/substance abuse would be kind of like the helplessness, constant incessant need for something, anxiety, etc
