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Child Abuse - Blog Posts
I cry for the butcher
Gold silver and copper
cake my tongue
No harm can ever come from
my mother's praying hands
My filthy mouth -
I harmed myself
Orange wedge lip
Clenched ivory threat
Pulled the trigger with my tongue
Blood orange
Her saintly hands
I’m sorry - a million times over
I say to her
And when i finally cry
It is not for the lamb.
like mine for instance
So many households aren’t ready for this conversation
Average American Dad
Get it?
The more I think I about it, the more I realise how alike Hunter from TOH and Fear Herself from MVT are.
Comparison
Upbringing:
Both Hunter and Arava had strict and demanding upbringings, leading to a sense of duty and resilience.
Hunter's upbringing was within the structured environment of the Emperor's Coven, while Arava's was on a tropical island with heavy responsibilities from a young age.
Manipulation and Exploitation:
Hunter was manipulated by Belos into believing he was his nephew and used as a tool.
Arava was exploited by her village for her powers, never receiving genuine appreciation.
Guilt and Internal Conflict:
Hunter's guilt stemmed from his fear of failure and his internal conflict with his loyalty to Belos.
Arava's guilt was more profound, rooted in the accidental death of her mother and the creation of demons.
Loss and Betrayal:
Hunter felt betrayed upon discovering the truth about his origins and abandoned Belos.
Arava experienced a significant loss when she was stripped of her Overseer powers, adding to her feelings of betrayal and inadequacy.
Emotional Turmoil:
Hunter's trauma manifested as anxiety, fear of being replaced, and difficulty forming connections.
Arava's trauma was more intense, with erratic behavior, deep-seated insecurities, suicidal tendencies, and a path to redemption.
I was thinking of Only The Brave again (because when the hell am i not?) and i found the parallel between fanon and canon interesting. In canon, Mary is the only one from this era alive, but in the fic, she is the only one who dies. I just thought that it was interesting.
Thank you for coming to my autism hyper-fixation talk.
Red and Dib have been stuck together in that dark and musty cell for a long time, but they've learned to make the best of it. Red was really starting to like the little alien.
Of course, their captors couldn't just leave them alone...
I don't get why people keep comparing the Dean and Kevin Tran scenes where they figure out someone is actually a demon.
The scene from season 1 where Dean figures out his dad was really a demon possessing him, and the scene where Kevin figures out the demons acting like Dean and Sam aren't really them.
Kevin realizes it's not the Winchesters when the demons were doing everything he asked. He asked for lunch, they brought him lunch. They went out and got him things and they were politer then the real Sam and Dean. Really, to me, it was a comedic moment, because they (mostly Dean) can act like a jerk without meaning to. (It reminds me of older siblings being annoying to a younger sibling) Not because they don't care about Kevin but because Dean naturally comes off that way. They do care about him and show obvious concern when he wasn't eating and sleeping enough.
When Dean realizes his dad was really a demon it was because the demon didn't yell at him, scold him, and be mad that he 'wasted' a bullet saving Sam. Instead the demon told him he was proud, like a good dad would. However, John isn't a good dad. He was emotionally abusive and he was neglectful, maybe even physically abusive. He forced Dean to act like a parent since he was four. He trained him to be a soldier and then abandoned him and Sam at the beginning of season 1.
These scenes are similar because they both involve demons and both involve someone realizing they are a demon. However, they are not comparable. One involved Dean and Sam acting like assholes (affectionate). One involved child abuse.
(ALSO, When Crowley was like, "my demons were too nice?", it made me laugh out loud.)
IF YOU HIT YOUR KIDS YOU ARE A MONSTER AND I AUTOMATICALLY DONT TRUST YOU.
END OF STORY.
DONT HIT YOUR FUCKING KIDS. IT HARMS THEM IN THE LONG RUN, GO FUCKING RESEARCH IT.
It is official. CPS is going to take me on thursday. I don't know if I will be able to go to the same school and get a good education. I might get raped there. I'm terrified.
If I don't post in the next 24 hours, it means the CPS has taken me. I'm dead serious.
Update : I think she forgave me. Maybe I won't go.
Update2 : I'm going there on thursday.
I will get out of this someday. I know I can.
Tw: abuse
Just survived a couple hours with my abuser while casually chitchatting around family. I need to run away.
As I said before, it's hard to converse with people who don't know what they're talking about. I've bred and trained dogs for over twenty years, they are NOT plush toys that you put on the shelf at night when you're done with them. They have personalities like people and each animal has to be treated differently. I showed successful training results for my actions and mentioned what happens when someone does nothing. And just like people, an improperly trained dog can be a problem to other people. No manners! Kind of like kids who never got spanked and their only outlet is to use foul language because they can't come up with anything factual on their own, nothing to defend their position......just screaming and throwing tantrums! A well disciplined dog is happier and safer and I will go toe-to-toe with anyone with the results. The proof is in the pudding! Leaving a dog on a chain 24/7 is cruel, a training collar is a teaching device. Know the difference!
It's time to get out of your mom's basement and do something with your sociology/transgender studies degree!
bro went to admit to abuse on my asks 💀💀 please kys
Natalia Grace, from a victim of Neglect and Narcissistic Abuse
The case of Natalia Grace hits home incredibly hard for me. It occurred in my home state, in very familiar locations.
She also is only one year older than I am. I grew up parallel to her. And when she was alone in that apartment at age 9, struggling to care for herself because no one ever taught her, I was in the middle of my parents’ horrific divorce also struggling to care for myself because no one was there to teach me.
Comments were made towards me around that time about how I hardly ever brushed my hair, I didn’t take a shower until I was told, I didn’t know I needed a bra, I wore pajamas to school, I never brushed my teeth. And when I heard the neighbors comment about how she smelled and her hair was dirty and she would come into their houses only looking for something to eat, I immediately thought fuck, it’s because she’s a kid! And also disabled, even if she were an adult she can’t fucking care for herself! And the neighbors that thought she was creepy or annoying, I got those comments too. People wanted away from me because at age 9 all I wanted to talk about was Warrior Cats or My Little Pony or Minecraft, nothing else.
The most important lesson I’ve learned in my adult life is that nothing is taught. Everything, common sense and basic self care, everything must be taught to a child. And people who don’t know how to do those things almost always come from neglect or abuse. I suffered neglect. Natalia suffered both.
And when I saw the clip of Michael Barnett interrogating her about the social worker and the donuts, that was eerily similar to the rants my step mom would go on about my dirty laundry or me drinking her orange juice. Abusive Narcissists like to put you down about the stupidest, smallest things. And there’s nothing you can say to stop it, you just have to sit there. When she was sitting in silence, just blinking at him, saying “I don’t know”, I felt that. Because I have been there.
I’ve blocked a lot of what I’ve experienced out, just because that’s what happens when you’re ill. Occasionally I’ll have moments of clarity though, when I remember, oh this horrible thing happened! Or I should know how to do this! And I realize why I don’t. I’m still struggling to keep up with my peers in all areas. I can’t imagine also being beaten, physically punished, abandoned, and then having to see your abusers get away with it. And on top of all that - being physically disabled.
There is no fucking doubt about this. Natalia Grace was born in 2003, proven by genetic evidence and dental records and BY HER BIRTH MOTHER. She was 9 years old when she was left abandoned in that apartment. And Michael Barnett and Kristine Barnett are monsters. I believe that no matter what kind of afterlife exists, they will be punished for what they’ve done.
The Weight Of Wings
Ⅰ. ⚝ Born to Fly
Synopsis: Keigo Takami's wings were meant to be his escape from the torment of his abusive family, a symbol of the freedom he longed for. Now, as the number two hero, Hawks carries the weight of those same wings—both a gift and a curse. He faces the repercussions of a life defined by duty and the moral ambiguity of his choices.
Preview: "He stretched out his tiny wings, cramped from the clutter of his house. His feathers sat oddly—neglected—taking on an unruly defiance, refusing to be tamed by his fractured will. Keigo often wondered what it would feel like to put them to real use, to feel the wind lift him high above everything—but he knew better than to ask."
Words: 1.2k
Tags: character study, A+ parenting, hawks is a fucking sweetheart and deserves 5,900 hugs n kisses
Notes: its been like 3 months since i wrote this chapter and i STILL dont know if i should leave it as-is or write another one... also cross-posted on ao3!!
Stars flicker, pure light, A boy's dreams reach for the sky, Wings that ache for flight.
As a boy, Keigo Takami often stared out into the horizon, heart yearning for distant freedom. The cracked walls of his tiny room seemed to be closing in on him, the air suffocating with the pungent smell of stale cigarettes and spilt liquor. Hence, when his father's distant mutters escalated into shouts, and when his mother's anxious footsteps started pacing, he found refuge on the roof, gazing at the sky with child-like wonder.
His belief in heroes had started to waver, eroding with every atrocity his father committed. Whenever his thoughts got too loud, he found solace in the stars. They didn't care about who he was, what he was born into, or the scars he tried to hide. They simply shone—untouched and unwavering. Beyond the city’s grime and the flickering streetlights, the sky seemed boundless. He liked to think the constellations were waiting for him, promising that one day, he wouldn’t be stuck here.
He stretched out his tiny wings, cramped from the clutter of his house. His feathers sat oddly—neglected—taking on an unruly defiance, refusing to be tamed by his fractured will. Keigo often wondered what it would feel like to put them to real use, to feel the wind lift him high above everything—but he knew better than to ask. Around his parents, every word felt like a misstep, every movement like a crack in fragile eggshells. His mother’s quirk gave her extra eyes, always scanning, always watching, as if she could see straight through him. And his father... his father’s gaze was sharp, laced with rage, always ready to lash out with a force that left scars deeper than any physical blow.
He imagined a wind, strong enough to carry him far away. Someday, he thought. Someday, I’ll fly higher than anyone else. His shoulders twitched with anticipation—but the dream always ended too soon. A door slammed somewhere in the house, and Keigo flinches, his bare feet slipping against the windowsill. He jumped back just as his father’s voice tore through the stillness like a jagged blade. "Keigo!" his father barked, his voice slurred from the alcohol. "Get in here!"
Keigo’s wings may have been closer to fantasy than tangible, but he still needed the courage to survive long enough to use them. His pulse quickened, the weight of reality pressing against him like a heavy stone. He pulled away from the window and padded softly toward the door, leaving behind the fleeting promise of the sky and stepping back into the prison of his life.
She was acting uncharacteristically 'motherly'. Perhaps it was the guilt catching up to her, though Keigo couldn’t fathom why she’d suddenly show him kindness—why anyone would, for that matter. Hand in hand, they walked into the store—probably for the first time in his life. The warmth of her hand felt alien against his own, a touch that he hadn't known since his earliest memories. Keigo’s gaze flickered down at their joined hands, the softness of his own fingers pressing against the rough calluses of hers. It was a strange, short-lived connection—one that seemed to exist only in this moment, surrounded by the smell of freshly baked bread and the distant hum of the store’s fluorescent lights.
They cast everything in a soft glow, making the rows of canned goods and packaged snacks shimmer like treasures. Keigo could hear the soft rustle of plastic bags, the gentle beep of the checkout scanner in the distance, the hum of the air conditioning struggling to keep up with the midday heat outside. He knew they probably wouldn’t walk out with anything—financially limited as they were—so he didn’t bother pointing out the items that caught his eye. As grateful as he was, there was the inevitable dread of what awaited him back home.
His eyes drifted from one colourful label to another, soaking it all in. He could barely process it all—it felt much too clean. His hair was matted enough to earn pitiful glares from nearby mothers, his clothes far too tattered. A sense of wonder rose in him, tempered only by the quiet hum of reality in the back of his mind. It was too much, but for the first time in a long while, too much didn’t feel like a bad thing.
Keigo, like any other child, was eyeing the hero merchandise. Whenever his father left him alone, he'd watch hero documentaries on TV. That euphoric feeling of watching All Might land another decisive blow, watching Endeavour coldly put villains in their place—it was the only thing that made him feel alive, the only thing that made him believe that there was something more than the life he was stuck in.
His mother noticed, her tired gaze flickering with something akin to empathy as she lingered by the shelves. She picked up the All Might plush—soft, golden, impossibly hopeful—but her hand froze as she turned over the price tag. A moment passed, her lips pressing into a thin line, before she put it back and grabbed the Endeavour one instead. “This’ll have to do,” she muttered, her tone clipped, the weight of her words landing heavier than the plush in Keigo’s hands.
But Keigo didn’t mind. His fingers clutched the toy with a reverence it didn’t deserve, his chest swelling with a joy that felt rare and fragile. Endeavour wasn’t bright like All Might—he didn’t shine, not really. But he burned, fierce and unyielding, and in that moment, Keigo thought that maybe, just maybe, burning was enough.
He held the Endeavour plush tightly, his small hands trembling as he followed his mother out of the store. The harsh overhead lights gave way to the soft glow of twilight outside, the sky tinged with hues of orange and violet. He glanced up, searching for the stars. They were faint, barely visible against the creeping dark.
He looked down at the plush in his hands. Its stitching was rough, the material coarse and unyielding, but it felt solid, real. Endeavour didn’t blind you with warmth and comfort. Instead, he was a fire that roared defiantly against the dark. Keigo traced the embroidered flames on the plush’s chest, his fingers lingering on the sharp edges. Fires blazed, yes, but they also survived. They consumed, leaving scars and ashes in their wake, but they endured. Maybe, Keigo thought, that’s what he needed to do too. Maybe he didn’t need to shine; maybe it was enough just to burn, to keep going, no matter what.
As they reached the corner of the street, his mother’s grip loosened, and the fleeting moment of connection slipped away like grains of sand through his fingers. Keigo turned his gaze upward one last time, letting the faint glimmer of the stars steady his fragile heart. In the sky, he saw more than freedom—he saw a promise, an echo of something that felt almost attainable.
The stars twinkled, distant and pure, as if whispering to him: Someday.
And Keigo Takami, with wings too small and a heart too heavy, dared to believe them.
wait you got a point, never thought about it that way
according to some people :
hitting a pet = abvse
hitting an adult = abvse
hitting a child = discipline
what ??
⚠️vent⚠️
It sickens me to think of the ways my parents failed me. I was never told I was something or that I could ever be something. I was rarely ever told “I’m proud of you” or “I love you.” Hugs were and have always remained rare. I was never encouraged to try to join sports, other extracurricular activities, or even try again at dancing. I was and still am rarely encouraged. I feel so directionless.
I rarely ever saw doctors. That includes really important ones like optometrist, GP, dentist, like those kinds. I’m talking the last time I went to a dentist I was probably 12. I’m fucking 18. EIGHTEEN! “You didn’t like going.” SO? I was a CHILD, I needed YOU to make sure I was HEALTHY. I feel so dirty and unkempt.
When I got hurt, I was told to just get up and get over it. Why didn’t they hug me and tell me I’d be alright? God forbid I did something they didn’t like. I’d just get my ass beat instead of a conversation. Or, better yet, yelling.
I can’t believe some parents actually have the brain to take their kids to therapy early on. My mom didn’t do that. Even after a life long exposure to an abusive father. It’s all fucked! Life is single-handedly the most fucked thing I’ve ever been forcefully ‘gifted.’ I didn’t ask to be born. I didn’t ask to live this way.
I am constantly seeking validation and love in everyone other than family members or myself. I am ruined. I am a shell of who I could’ve been. No amount of toys, which I had A LOT of, was a replacement for proper parenting. I never feel loved enough.
As happy as I am for people who have good parents, I can’t help but be jealous as well. I’m so jealous your dad teaches you things. I am so jealous your parent(s) put you in therapy. I am so jealous you were motivated to try new things. I am so jealous you are loved the normal way. I am so jealous in a way that doesn’t even make me angry. It just makes me incredibly sad.
I feel more raised by the internet than by my parents. I needed YouTubers to tell me I shouldn’t act like my father. It’s sick.
Throughout my entire life I’ve been starved of affection. And people can SMELL IT. They smell it in the way I talk, the way I walk, and whatever else I do. They know I’m defective.
So do I, Sweetheart. <3 😈 🔄
When abusive parents hurt you, they're not 'doing it for your own good' or 'disciplining you', they're singling you out and making you a target. Because they're not doing it to all other kids, they're not doing it to their guests, friends, coworkers, bosses, neighbours, it doesn't even count if all of those people make one of the same mistakes you do. It's allowed for them. It's okay if anyone else does it. It's okay if other people break things, or refuse to be controlled, or speak up, or demand something, or act selfish, or act childish, or don't cater endlessly, or don't guess their moods, or don't act submissive, it's okay for everyone else! Just not for you!
What exactly is that teaching you?
That you're different. That the brutal and torturous rules exist only for you. That you are the only one who deserves no allowances, no forgiveness, no gentleness, no tolerance, no nuance, no love. And you are the only one! Everyone else can get those things and do what they want, but you will get tortured for it, you'll get tortured even for things you didn't do, because these two people have singled you out and deserved that you're so rotten you deserve worse treatment than any other person alive. And those people are your parents, they made you.
It teaches you injustice, it teaches you to put yourself in a different category than anyone else in the world and to assume you must be so intrinsically different that you won't ever find community, you won't ever find somebody to be on your side or similar to you, because you are the only one who could ever deserve this kind of hatred. It separates you from humanity and makes you feel like you don't belong, like you don't have a home here, it makes you abandoned by everyone because nobody is stating anything different about you. With their silence, dismissal and neglect, everyone is passively agreeing that this is what you deserve. That it doesn't matter to them if you live in pain and despair because you're too different, too otherworldly for them to care about.
No child has deserved to feel like that. Nobody is supposed to be pushed into that pit of despair, injustice and pain, alone, with no visible way out. With nothing they can do to redeem themselves, to find a way to see themselves as human after all that's been done to them. This is not a pit that somebody can easily crawl out of, this is something that can follow you all your life.
All children deserve better than this. Never defend abusive parents when they do this to a child. If you don't want a child to believe themselves to be a monster, don't ignore when this is happening and don't act like it's none of anybody's business. It's all of our business to make sure no kid thinks this lowly of themselves, not even if their parents decide they should. Parents who do this to children should be charged with torture, isolation and psychological devastation of a human being. All children are human. And no child deserves that.
Did your abusive parents continually imply or say outright, that you're a burden not only on them, but also on all other people you interact with?
I had my parents warn me every time I was leaving the house that I was a nuisance and to not allow other people to 'feed me' because then I would be eating somebody else's food. There was a few times where I accepted a ride from my friend's parents, because I didn't dare to ask my own parents, and when they found out, they were outraged, furious and went on this big tirade about how I owe them gas money, how I spent resources that weren't mine, and was now in debt to those people, and they, my parents now had to go and make up for that debt (for the friend's parents, it was a 3 minute detour to pick me up, they were already driving their own kid).
I was discouraged from going anywhere because of how big of a burden I was on those people, and if I wanted to go to a friend's house, they would get mad and ask 'why do you have to go there, aren't we good enough for you', it was mind-boggling.
However it did force me, as a child, to continually believe I have to be extremely useful; at every house I went, I made a gift for them so they wouldn't be mad at me, and to pay my dues that I owe them for being at their place. I also didn't dare to ask for food or drinks anywhere because I believed that would make me a burden and put me in debt, and rides were considered basically unrepayable, and I had to depend on my parents for them, who would use them for blackmail every time. (you have to do whatever I say for 2 weeks, if you want that 15 minutes ride to the train station).
I only realized recently that they actively worked on making me feel despised and burdensome in every place I ever went, not only at my own home, and that it's the reason I never visit other people's houses anymore, and stick to myself in fear of being unwelcome.
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64395973
Guys I've finally risen from the ded and updated the fic. The 3rd chapter is now out!! It's all thanks to that one commenter that I got the motivation to complete it!! Go give it a read :3
Collab: @xerenalikestoread
Still think it's "Putin's war"? Let's see what the russian soldiers who "don't really want it" discuss with their women who "are victims too"
Intercepted conversations of russians:
1. A russian soldier tells his mother how a ukrainian woman and her two children were killed in front of him. He relished the story. And she said that those innocent civilians were "enemies, fascists, they deserved it".
2. The second one talks about the order to kill civilians. He had seen the forest with corpses and now he could hear the flesh thrown on the roadsides. He said he would follow the order, that he would kill. Every civilian he saw.
3. A child from a russian school was collecting a parcel for her brother (?) to go to war. In the letter, she wrote to him: "Kill all Ukrainians as soon as possible and come back."
He and his mother are laughing.
4. "Mum, I killed civilians. I would throw them into a trench and shoot them in the head. They begged and pleaded, but I shot them in the head." He laughs when he tells this story.
5. "Do you know what 21 rosettes from a human body are? I helped, I did it. I got such a thrill. To cut them. Torture them". Mother says that if she were in his place, she would also be satisfied.
Another said that killing children is not murder. "Because killing Ukrainian children is right!"
Parents always say this:
"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to expect more of you."
"You're smart. Therefore, I don't have to care how I explain things to you."
"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to assume that any mistakes you make are intentional."
"You're smart. Therefore, if you say that you struggle with something, it's okay for me to assume that you're just lazy, afraid, lacking confidence, lacking motivation, or any other excuse to dismiss your struggles as fake.
but never this:
"You're smart. Therefore, I will put my authority aside and consider the possibility that you are right and I am wrong.
Like any abusive authority figure, they want you to be smart enough to uphold their authority but not smart enough to challenge their authority.
Parents always say this:
"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to expect more of you."
"You're smart. Therefore, I don't have to care how I explain things to you."
"You're smart. Therefore, it's okay for me to assume that any mistakes you make are intentional."
"You're smart. Therefore, if you say that you struggle with something, it's okay for me to assume that you're just lazy, afraid, lacking confidence, lacking motivation, or any other excuse to dismiss your struggles as fake.
but never this:
"You're smart. Therefore, I will put my authority aside and consider the possibility that you are right and I am wrong.
Like any abusive authority figure, they want you to be smart enough to uphold their authority but not smart enough to challenge their authority.
Things abusers do to sabotage you from leaving, or ‘Why you can’t just leave’:
Parental
convince you that you couldn’t survive without them and you wouldn’t be able to support yourself or make it out there alone
refuse to teach you survival skills, find excuses like 'you’re too clumsy, you’re not capable, you wont be able to do this’
convince you of 'catastrophic events’ that would take place if you were out there; homelessness, starvation, social rejection, failing at everything, financial struggles, kidnapping, murder
convince you that the world is a scary place and you’d be a failure and dead 'in the real world’
traumatize you to the point where you struggle to get thru the day, which now also makes it seem like you wouldn’t be able to make it on your own
talk you out of finding work, tell you about awful things that would happen to you if you went and found a job, try to make you to 'work for them’ or at least in the close area
if you find work, they claim a part or entirety of your income, making sure you don’t have escape money
regularly make you feel ashamed of not being able to be independant, and letting you know that only people who are able to be independant deserve to have freedom and place out in the real world
guilt-trip you to feel like you owe them caretaking because they raised you, so you’re owing them to stay and take care of them instead of living your own life
Emotional
complain about how 'everyone abandons them’ in order to make you feel like you’re just 'one of the bad ones who betrayed them’ if you think about leaving
every time you try to leave, they overwhelm you with a new incident, sickness or drama that makes it seem like you’re abandoning them in the middle of a tragedy
act overly attached to you, making sure you know that if you left, they wouldn’t know what to do without you, and they’d be heartbroken, but still they refuse to respect your boundaries
convince you that you’re “all they’ve got”, you’re special and unique to them, only you can understand and help them
love-bomb you until you’re attached and bonded to them to the point where leaving feels unimaginably painful because you’d be losing your closest person in the world
begging, pleading, acting like they gave you no reason to leave, promising to change, promising to do anything you’ve wanted to happen for a long time, making you feel like things are just about to get good and like they regret everything bad they’ve ever done
launching an attack on your persona, pointing out every time you did something 'bad’ and insisting that you’re actually the worst of the two, so you can’t blame them for anything
guilt trips; reminding you of everything they’ve done for you and how ungrateful you are, reminding you of all of the nice things you’ve said about them before, asking if it ever meant anything, accusing you of being heartless if you go, of never loving them, of mistreating them, accusing you of being toxic, deciding you’re hurting them on purpose if you leave
deciding you’re leaving because of their specific problem/situation/disability/illness that you’ve always been considerate and supportive about (another guilt trip)
say it’s “your fault they’ll never get better” with whatever you were helping them with
deciding you only want to leave because of your unhealthy trust issues or 'you push people away’ or 'misinterpret things because of your trauma’ and asking you to be honest with yourself
asking you to explain in detail why you feel the need to leave, only to attack your reasoning and explain it all away and minimize it to make it seem like you have no good reason for leaving
tell you that 'nobody will ever love you again’ if you leave
threaten to expose your most vulnerable secrets if you leave
threaten to hurt themselves if you leave
Psychological
gaslight you into doubting whether you’re abused, to the point where you feel like you’re exaggerating, going insane, remembering things wrong, and unsure if the problem is you or them
time an event of abuse specifically when you’re trying to work on something, or you’re immensely stressed and trying to meet a deadline, so you’d be too overwhelmed with fear/anger/grief, and can’t make your work in time
regularly having intense violent or dramatic reactions to your harmless behaviour, making you feel like you can’t predict what they’ll do if you leave or how that could end for you
support your codependency on them, or financially support your addiction, so you feel tied to them and have to go back to them in order to feel normal again
undermine and trash your work, imply or outright say your work is stupid, meaningless, badly done, and not worth doing, trying to discourage you from working
verbally assault you and criticize your work to the point where you start to feel anxious and upset whenever you’re working, making work a trauma trigger for you
punish you for 'lying to them’ if you fail to mention something, making it clear that you will get hurt every time you make any move they don’t like, which makes it even more scary to leave
threaten to make a suicide attempt if you leave
threaten to hurt you if you leave
threaten to report you and try to get you imprisoned for a real or imagined crime if you leave
threaten to have you admitted to a mental institution (or any other kind of institution) where you’ll be even more controlled
threatening your family members, loved ones, friends, and/or pets, saying horrid things they would do to them if you dared to disobey or leave
threaten to find you and drag you back and hurt you if you try to leave
say outright they’re going to kill you if you ever leave, or that they’d rather have you dead than gone
Social Isolation
create insecurities in your behaviour, repeatedly imply or claim you’re too loud, obnoxious, sensitive, crazy, stupid, clueless, demanding, nagging, until you’re worried that everyone is secretly judging you and the world feels against you
take apart your appearance until you feel too insecure and lose confidence in socializing or meeting new people, constantly feeling like you need to 'fix yourself’ first
demean and condemn your personality, appearance, social standing, finances, capabilities, to the point where they decide you can’t do any better than them and you should feel lucky anyone is tolerating you at all
inflict punishments on you for socializing or hanging out with new people; break your things, throw jealous tantrums, ask why they’re not enough for you, go thru your things, rage
violate your privacy and take away things you need in order for them to control when you’re allowed to have them
smear-campaign you; spread lies about what you were like to them so everyone sides with them, and blames you and tells you what to do (exactly what the abuser wants you to do)
turn your family members and friends against you, and make sure they’ll be unnaccepting of you and refuse to help you if you try to leave
Physical
Physically assaulting you if you do something they don’t want you to do, making it clear they’re going to hurt you for any attempt at leaving them as well
Physically assault you if you try, or say you’re going to leave
Inflict injuries on you that will prevent you from working/being independent
Stalking, making it known they can always find you and seek revenge if you dare to leave
Influencing other people to stalk you and let him know where you are and what you’re doing; making you feel like you’re always being watched and always surrendered by their influence
hurt themselves physically if you make an attempt, or even say that you’re leaving
attempt suicide if you make an attempt of leaving
attempt at murder if you try to leave
Financial
create and maintain a financial situation where they are the only one having income, and they’re able to control how much money you get to spend
withhold financial knowledge from you so you’d be clueless about their finances, and managing finances in general (you can’t get an idea of how much money it takes to get thru a month)
refuse to give you your right to keep your money separately from theirs
create financial trouble that you have to solve, taking up all of your savings in the process
take your money without asking, and the amount you’d never consent to, and they give you excuses and pretend it was 'necessary’
accuse you of 'spending irresponsibly’ as an excuse to confiscate or control the money you have on your person (or in your account)
throw a fit if they find out you have any money on you that they’re not aware of/have approved of (if you borrow or win or earn money that they didn’t give you)
make sure you’re overwhelmed with tasks and problems and emotional trauma, to the point where you don’t have a chance to get out and find a job, or go and look for resources for getting out of abuse
stand against you getting more education, or starting any new activities with people around you (making sure you don’t get any social connections that could lead to a job)
get you fired from a job by spreading lies or calling in and harassing the employer about you
forcing you to spend any money they know you have saved up, so you’d have no money to plan escape
It is NOT EASY to leave, and statistically it takes several attempts to leave an abusive situation. Be aware that it’s hard because they’re sabotaging your every step, not because you’re not doing enough. Abusers often wont show their abusive side until they’re absolutely sure that you have nowhere else to live, and no other place to go. All of the things on this list are psychologically damaging, and terrifying to live thru. All of this is abuse. Nobody has the right to tell you this is your fault. Keep trying. Keep fighting.
If you’re struggling to leave an abusive situation, here’s an article on How to Leave an Abuser.
Abusive parents will program you so extensively, that when you’re asked:
‘What have your parents done to you?’
the only thing you know how to answer is:
‘They gave me the roof over my head and clothed me and fed me.’
Because that’s whats repeated to you almost every day of your life to be grateful for, you don’t have the words to describe the devastating abuse and hatred, because they don’t want you to have the words for it. All they teach you to say is ‘I’m grateful and it could have been so much worse’.
That’s how nobody can ever find out about the abuse. They make sure the children won’t know how to answer even if asked.
no "see results" or "I was never hit as a child" option
People aren't joking when they say progress isn't linear... I hate it here
Oh I don't like how my parents are treating me... But I guess it's normal. I'll try to be better :)
Hm. Being better didn't work. Maybe I'll try again. :)
Okay maybe I'm just having some trouble. They could be nicer about it though
Okay. They're definitely mistreating me. Someone help?
Hm. Maybe I should run away. Maybe if they find out how much they're hiring me, they'll stop.
They know... They don't care. I wish someone would come and save me.
Maybe if I tell them again, they'll care this time and change?
They still don't care. I'll leave at 18. I can make it.
Not sure if I can make it that long, but at least it's not as bad as it was before.
Maybe I was just overreacting and it's not that bad. It could've been way worse
It was pretty bad. Once I move out, I'm cutting them off.
But I can't abandon them.... They're my family...
But I wouldn't let my friends be treated that way. I should stick to the plan
The plan didn't work, but I still plan to cut contact.
But I've been a burden for a while. The least I could do is repay them and stick around. It doesn't matter if I'd let my friends do it. They're not as awful as me
They're back at it.... I'm leaving... When I finally get the money
Oh so you're just going to use them until you get on your feet and then abandon them????