Morgan : Listen, It's No Big Deal, We Can Cross That Bridge When We Get There.

Reid : I slept for almost 12 hours but I might still be tired so let's go for 12 more.

Garcia : ...Hun, that's a coma.

Reid : Fancy name for a nap.

While discussing a case :

Rossi : Well, in my experience over the years..

Emily : Rossi, the most experienced things you have is to get on my nerves. And cook pasta.

Reid smiling at his phone, watching Bluey with headphones on

Emily, walking behind him : What are you watching ?

Reid, full panic mod, slamming his phone screen on his desk : P*RN. ADULT THINGS. BECAUSE I AM AN ADULT. LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE WHY DON'T YOU TRUST ME EMILY

Morgan : You know what sucks ?

Reid, without looking up from his chess game : Vacuum.

Morgan : No- In a metaphorical sense ?

Reid : Black hole.

Morgan :

Morgan : You know what isn't cool ?

Reid : Lava.

Morgan : ...I swear there's a special place in hell for you. Smartass.

The rest of the team in the jet : giggles, Hotch fist-bumping Reid.

Emily, walking in the room covered in blood

JJ : Oh my god what happened ??

Emily : Oh no, don't worry, it's not my blood.

Hotch : IT MAKES ME EVEN MORE WORRIED, WHAT DID YOU DO

Emily : What are you, five ?

Morgan : Yeah, five heads taller than you.

Emily :

Morgan :

Emily :

Morgan : ᴾˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵐᵉ

Garcia : I wish we could block people in real life.

JJ : Restraining order

Emily : Murder.

Morgan : Emily, could you pass the salt ?

Emily : Morgan, could you pass away ?

Hotch : ONE. DINNER. WHY IS IT SO HARD.

Reid : I wish my daddy issues could just disappear

Gideon : dies

Reid :

Reid : NOT LIKE THAT-

Garcia : Okay I have a riddle. What's green, red, and spins really quickly ?

Emily : A frog in a mixer.

Garcia : That's right ! An elf on a merry-go-round-

Garcia :

Emily :

Garcia : Emily, I don't say this often, but what in the actual fuck-