Nobody :

Garcia, aggressively throwing bottles at the team : HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE

Morgan : What's up with her ?

Garcia : I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU, YOU ALL DESERVE LOVE

JJ : She's trying to yell mental health and wellbeing into us.

Reid, crying : ᴵᵗ'ˢ ʷᵒʳᵏᶦⁿᵍ

Emily : I'm so upset.

Morgan : Why what happened ?

Emily, raising her index menacingly towards him : Shut the fuck up, fuck you.

Morgan : Okay girl, you stay upset, actually I hope your day gets worse !

Emily : In my defense, your honor, I simply do not vibe with the law

While discussing a case :

Rossi : Well, in my experience over the years..

Emily : Rossi, the most experienced things you have is to get on my nerves. And cook pasta.

Rossi : Here's another one, what does "take out" mean ?

JJ : Food.

Morgan : Dating.

Reid : Murder.

Emily : All three if you're not a coward.

Emily : Once my baby was being annoying so I put it in the basement.

Emily : Then I forgot about it and decided that I didn't want a basement anymore, so I got rid of the door and decided that I will do the rest later. When child protective services came, they couldn't go in the basement, so they just chilled around in my house.

Therapist :

JJ, facepalm : She's talking about the Sims, please don't call the police.

The BAU having therapy. The psy's reaction :

To Reid : Calls two other psy, and ordered anti-d for himself.

To Morgan : Questions the existence of self-conservation.

To Garcia : Fills adoption papers.

To Hotch : Questions the existence of emotions and humour.

To JJ : Learn that someone can be a mother to the entire civilization.

To Emily : Calls the police.

Garcia : If I blended Red Bull, five hour energy, monster, coffee and hot Cheetos into an energy smoothie, would it kill me ?

Tara : I mean, only if you die.

Garcia, getting the blender : Imma do it

Rossi : Garcia nO-

Morgan : "Think twice" ? Bold of you to assume I think once

Emily : I get the point of the phrase "hurt people hurt people" but I just hear a command twice