“Vinegar And FUCK.”

“I’m far too goth for gravey.”

-Me, not goth in any way

"I'm not gonna finish that sentence for legal reasons."

How did he die?

Death.

People have been saying stupid stuff since language was invented and I don’t say anything so all I can do is listen, and I’ve been doing that my entire life, but the second I decide to post some of it, nobody say anything even remotely funny??

"Mushrooms are overrated! Yeah, I said it!"

“From the moment this universe began it was destined to end in a duck apocalypse.”

"I'm so sad that sloths don't know how much I appreciate them..."

"Today I shall be expanding the list of reasons I'm going to hell."

“That’s my second claim to fame; I was once told off by a rodent!”

-My grandma, who once got shouted at by Mickey Mouse at Disney Land

“Stop breaking this pencil! Do you know how expensive this was?!”

-Somebody with a cheap pencil they probably found on the floor