“That’s My Second Claim To Fame; I Was Once Told Off By A Rodent!”

“Isn’t he the spoon God?”

-Somebody who probably just discovered a new religion

“I am a thot and Thor.”

"Like, which part of this clusterfuck specifically?"

There is literally no difference between 4 and 3. You stop these lies

So nobody said anything funny today, but I just witnessed two guys pick up a bench and attempt to walk away with it, and I can’t just not acknowledge that

"Default fonts hurt my soul..."

"Moles are slowly killing me..."

People have been saying stupid stuff since language was invented and I don’t say anything so all I can do is listen, and I’ve been doing that my entire life, but the second I decide to post some of it, nobody say anything even remotely funny??

“Physically I’m here, but spiritually I’m in 15th century France being a lesbian.”

“Smells like science...”

-A girl, with a great sense of smell, literally walking into the science lab