“Elizabeth, What’s Your Name?”

“It should be easier once we get rid of the pile of noses...”

-My mother, not making nearly as much without context

People have been saying stupid stuff since language was invented and I don’t say anything so all I can do is listen, and I’ve been doing that my entire life, but the second I decide to post some of it, nobody say anything even remotely funny??

"Moles are slowly killing me..."

I should probably clarify that this was in a game

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!

"Thank you for defending my honour, I'm the Loch Ness Monster."

"Can the person whos throwing stuff please just get a life?"

-my RE teacher, to which the class responded "OOHHH"

“She’s come out the closet!”

-My grandma... when I told her I was vegetarian

“Hula Hoops are the food of the Gods!”

-Me, being right

“It’s not porn, one of them is on fire!”

"I'm trying to listen to a dwarvern shanty here, pal!"