I Just Wanna Let You Guys Know I Started This Blog When I Was Having A Hard Time At School With A Very

writing is hard but coming up with a cunty title and catchy summary will slay even god's strongest soldier

I like the head canon that hobbits for tails so.. here. Enjoy (he keeps it tied to his leg out of the way so it doesn’t get cut off in battle and also he’s a little embarrassed he doesn’t fit in)

Ladies and gents.

Comedy or something adjacent

Papa Bilbo and his Dwobbit son, Frodo Halfstone - Son of Thorin - Son of Thrain

I love the hobbit fandom so much but please, my loves, my sweet baby pebbles, please… stop using really bad metal working analogies

Work hardened/annealed=

When you want to soften a metal to make it more pliable you heat it, this is called annealing. This is done when something you are working gets work hardened or develops tenseness that makes it fragile

So like.. if you’re writing some Bagginshield smut or fluff like you do (ha) you could say “Bilbo seemed to anneal under the heat of Thorins hands”

You’re welcome

- your local dwarrow jeweler

Alternatively:

Thorin who grew up in the kings court and was being raised to be the next king: never said a undignified thing

Bilbo who grew up as the son of wealthy and respected parents in the shire: also never said a bad word

Bilbo watching Thorin in the smithy, sitting on a bench, legs crossed, drinking some tea, yapping his head off

Thorin gets too locked in on his husband friends yapping and accidentally over works and tears some brass he was using to make a twist for a bracelet: Fuck

Bilbo: what?

Thorin: what??

Thorin, who grew up in a society often portrayed as brash and crude, and faced many traumatic and difficult events in his life: has never said an “undignified” word in his entire life

Bilbo, who not only grew up in the prim, proper and respectable society but was considered a gentle hobbit of them: curses like a fucking sailor

Well that was weird and embarrassing 😅

👁👄👁👍

Someone said they liked the idea of Thorin using hand gestures and not talking much when he doesn’t have to (think somewhat selectively mute, maybe using Iglishmêk) and Bilbo yapper who fills every pause with his thoughts.

Bilbo: -and then he said ‘we can’t plant roses on the terraces, they’ll freeze’ can you believe that? We had the last winter snow six weeks ago- dear, where are the measuring spoons

Thorin: *doesn’t look up from his mountain of shitty paperwork, gestures vaguely in the direction of the a drawer that he put them in*

Bilbo: *rifling through the drawer* what do you think though? About the roses? Surely we can’t be expecting anymore snow? The-

Thorin: *without looking up* There’s not enough sun on the terrace you’re thinking of…

Bilbo: but-!

Thorin: plant them at the gates..

Bilbo: oh… o////o

I enjoy when people make the elves as creepy and upsetting as they actually are.

Gimli (who loves Legolas) looking at him looking down his arrow as he aims for a rabbit that seems far to far away to shoot: are you sure you can make that?

Legolas then takes the shot and slowly turns to Gimli with terrifying cat pupils and a very creepy sharp canined smile: I got him.