Alternatively:

Rip Boromir you would have loved closing the hood of a truck and saying “that’ll do it”

rip boromir you would have loved clicking the tongs twice

They would be horrible

modern legolas and gimli would be yelling shit that would borderline get them imprisoned in the call of duty lobby and like eat worms on bets

*doing a magical girl transformation from Kili to Thorin because I washed, brushed, oiled and put my little braids back in my hair *

WHY IS EVERYONE VOTING FOR EREBOR!??? YOU ALL JUST WANT TO SEE ME SUFFERING MAKING UP SOME INSANE REASON DONT YOU?

I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS YOU GUYS

Okay quick poll for Avenge the Living chapter 2.

Where is Bilbo?

Bilbo has no concept of what he’s doing.

Normally it would be very scandalous indeed to touch another dwarrows hair but in the eyes of the party the two brothers were not much more then peddles and so it was actually comforting to see someone taking care of them.

Bilbo say combing through Kilis hair very, very carefully. Sectioning it and starting at the ends because every single tug made the young prince yelp pitifully… Fili had less patience for this game and Thorin had less still so it was understandable to Bilbos mind that the boy was somewhat jumpy about his hair, remembering his own hair being raked through before bed as a fauntling.

Braiding back the princes hair with two plats that met at the back of his head with one leather tie and a bead above it, Bilbo thought he’d done rather a handsome job, Kili sat up and did a spin, showing his brother who nodded approvingly.

Dori sat with Balin across the camp watching with amused smiles.. it made the two brothers seem so young to be cared for in such a way, their smiles turned into muffled laughter as they looked over that their grumpy kings unreadable expressions.

Thorin didn’t know what to think, on the one had he was glad that his nephews were being cared for, on the other he thought bitterly that that was he and Dis’s job and on the other he might have felt slightly jealous but dwarves only have two hands so that last one was the thought he tried to ignore.

Later that evening the camp was still, a few of the party were still half awake having a drink around the fire when Thorin took a deep breath and stood, enough ale in his system to make him slightly braver then he had the right to be. He walked over to Bilbo who was sitting on a log over looking the valley, his pipe in his hand.

Thorin sat beside him, a thick fingered hand resting on the small round shoulder of the hobbit. Thorin was always shocked on the few accessions he had touched the hobbit to feel how small he truely was.

The king cleared his throat.

“Thank you… For looking after them” he nodded to the princes who lay a few meters away, kili laying half on top of his snoring brother like a two man dog pile.

Bilbo looked at the hand on his shoulder then back out at the valley, exhaling a smoke ring “The more time I spend with those two.. the more I realize how young they are… Forgive me for this Thorin but… You shouldn’t have brought them”

Thorin sucked in a breath. His eyes falling to his lap “No… I shouldn’t have…”

Bilbo smiled sadly “come.. You’re worse then Kili, sit down and I’ll brush your hair too”

Thorin thanked Mahal one hundred times that it was dark and his burglar couldn’t see the redness of his cheeks as he sunk down between the Hobbits thighs, staring at a boulder across the valley like it would crack open and reveal a second arkenstone if he glared hard enough… until the Hobbits clever fingers began to unbraid his hair, treating it as gently as he did Kili’s… then all he could do was close his eyes and try to hold in most of the groan of satisfaction that rumbled in his chest.

Let's be honest, Bilbo does too much of what is considered vulgar or flirting in Thorin's culture. And he's going to die of embarrassment soon.

You know winter arrived when you go to put ur rings on in the morning and it’s like a putting ur hands on a bowl of ice

Aeugh my glasses are gonna be cold too. I don’t want to get out of bed but I have an amulet I only have 4 weeks to make aghh

He’s not judging he’s just…. Seeing how this plays out

Wow I’m literally so sorry

Scary queen 😭

I’m eating Nutella off the knife to cope

There is no frustration like sawing a highly conductive metal and having it basically turn into glue as the friction heat softens it, trapping your LAST saw blade.

Dude I just wanna make my fork.

I can’t😭 as an elder sibling myself I too have harassed my dear little brother under a weapon was drawn. Little rat -3-

Canon! Farin is implied to have an older sister so here's my new OC Orin!