Jaybirdstab - Let’s Blow Off Some Steam

Dick: You know that there is nothing you could say that we will get mad at.

Tim, panicking: Yeah, yeah. I know that.

Jason: there is very clearly some stuff you can say that we will get mad at. Don’t believe him. He’s a liar.

Damian: I get mad at you for even breathing. I don’t know what you expect.

Tim, inhaling deeply: You know how I broke up with Bernard so I could date Kon again?

Dick: Absoluetly. Yeah.

Jason, nodding: That was very hard for you.

Tim, nodding also: Yeah, that actually never happened.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: I’m still dating Bernard.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: I’m dating both of them and neither one of them knows it and I feel terrible about it.

Damian, absolutely cracking up.

Jason, staring blankly.

Dick: But Bernard is gone.

Tim, shaking his head.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: He’s not gone.

Jason, snickering with Damian. Both of them dying.

Dick: So you broke up with Kon—

Tim: I didn’t break up with either of them.

Dick: What do you mean?

Tim: You process this however you need to process this. If you want to keep talking it out—

Dick, grabbing Tim by the shoulders: Which one are you dating?

Tim: Both.

Jason and Damian rolling on the ground.

Dick, shaking Tim: Are you dating Kon?

Tim: I’m dating Kon.

Dick, still shaking Tim: Are you dating Bernard?

Tim: Yes.

Jason, wheezing: How do you do that?

Tim: They made me choose!

Dick: You have to choose!

Jason and Damian still choking.

Dick: You can’t have both men!

Tim: What was I supposed to do?

Dick: What, you think you can have a bunch of boyfriends?!

Jason and Damian wheezing: …

Tim: …

Dick: You get one boyfriend!

Tim, looking down at his shoes: …

Dick: That’s the way the world works!

Tim: Why!?

Dick, shaking his head: I don’t know.

Tim: I feel terrible about this. I don’t know what to do.

Dick: How could you do this to Kon?

Tim: I don’t know, I feel really badly about it!

Jason, slapping Damian’s back: In your little brain, how do you see this playing out?

Tim: I see it playing out badly.

Damian, wheezing again.

Tim: I see it playing out very, very badly. But you know what, I just… I want to thank you though. Just for being here for me.

Dick: No.

Tim: And for listening to me.

Dick: We’re not listening to you and we’re not here for you.

Tim, ignoring him: Because now we’re in this together.

Dick, pointing: We’re not in this together. And we’re not listening and we’re not being there, so stop telling us things!

Jason and Damian, still cracking up.

Dick, shaking his hands: What do you want me to do with this information!?

Tim: Well, it really helped me to tell you. You should tell somebody,

Dick: I can’t.

Tim: Get it off your chest,

Dick: I can’t.

Tim: You know what I mean?

Dick, crossing his arms: Who? Who would I tell?

Tim: Well, certainly not Bruce. Maybe Wally.

Dick: …

Tim: Don’t ever tell Bruce.

Hen, announcing to the 118: Eddie is in love with Buck.

118: *gasp*

Buck: *gasp*

Eddie: *gasp*

Hen: Why are you surprised, Eddie? You already knew this.

Personally, I like to imagine that Remus Lupin is a little bit Latino.

And no. Not because he’s poor, you heathens.

I just think a Spanish speaking werewolf is kinda hot.

Derek Hale speaks Spanish. And we all go crazy over him.

I feel liked Remus had with Fabian and Gideon, the type of relationship that Hermione has with Fred and George. You know, like a little flirty, but also a little teasing. That type of thing.

Bernard, pitching a theory to Tim and his family: … therefore, since Batman and Bruce Wayne clearly having something going on, Batman has to be Clark Kent, because he and Bruce Wayne are pretty flirty.

Bats: …

Tim, loving to see his boyfriend excited and loving to cause chaos: Okay, fair enough, but where does Superman fall into this?

Bernard, literally vibrating: okay so—

Okay, so crack thought. I was reading a Reddit: AITA post and it was about this lady who named her baby after her ex and her husband found out and I just—

What if Remus and Tonks named Teddy ‘Sirius’ instead of Teddy and Tonks thinks it’s Remus naming their kid after his best friend and her cousin, but it’s actually Remus naming their kid after his dead ex.

BATBUCKET 🪣 🦇

Never forget the batbucket.

I’ve said it once and I’ll say it again; the hyper feminization of Sirius Black feels gross no matter how pretty people make him.

And then when someone makes Remus feminized, people freak out.

It’s a gross double standard.