“Run!” I Cried, Cryingly! “It’s Geoff The Killer!”

Did you know that if a baby ran 37 miles per hour it would outrun a dog?

hey say something nice to me

Things to say when you’re staring at your reflection number 396:

*wrinkles nose* shouldnt you be repressing that

I am s o tired of trying to scroll past this stupid Hyundai advertisement because I see it every four posts and every time it tries to open a new tab in my safari so when I try to google the most efficient way to get my dog to stfu I am instead confronted with 27 tabs of the same Korean ad campaign

L EAVE ME ALONE!!!!!

Being queer means that the only time I’ve ever felt good about myself in photos is when I dressed up as a clown for my sister’s photography assignment where my clownsona (Gigatron AKA Giggles AKA Trap K$ng G) climbs the clown corporate ladder to become clown of the month

I use this photo every time I have to use a photo of myself for something (including a name placard for a research conference) and I have no regrets

Hi!! Real fan of your blog!! I have a question for you: cologne or sprite?

Neither. I don’t drink anything. Only solids for this big boy!

Ayo House MD fans I need help w something

Lowkey thinking about writing a College AU where House and Wilson are professors and I cannot for the life of me figure out what I want them to be specialized in

I don’t wanna do any STEM majors cause I don’t know shit about that so I’m thinking somewhere in the humanities but I’m struggling to pick for them

Send help, ideas, and perchance a bullet to the head idk 🤷

“People laying awake at night are either in love or BLAH BLAH BLAH!!!!”

Bro what if I’m laying awake at night reading old men yaoi and thinking about the fact that I am in fact NOT asexual and actually just wish I had a dick????

WHAT THEN????

“Jet skis are a gift from god” my good man what the FUCK does that mean????? Are you a cocaine dealer???? Can I have some????

Algorithms are funny to me bc I liked ONE (☝️) House MD post and suddenly my feed is flooded with them but I do my damndest to scroll quickly past every self absorbed fanfiction writer and there’s still SO MANY OF THEM on my screen I hate it here

Currently trying to use telepathy on my friends to get at least one of them to follow me over 700 miles to a new state when I move bc I’ll miss them and also bc trying to find a roommate while not being in the that city (let alone the state) is really hard and I don’t wanna :/