Did You Know That If A Baby Ran 37 Miles Per Hour It Would Outrun A Dog?

hey i want to call you a slur does it break any of your boundaries

Go ahead Pookie :)

Love when media will give a character a job that people usually structure entire shows/movies around (firefighter, doctor, lawyer, etc) but it is just so unessential to the plot and rarely brought up and is just a throwaway piece of info

Like yes ignore your job!!!! Slay queen!!!

in the 2000s you got called metrosexual just for wanting tuo fuck the underground,trains

I know absolutely fuck all nothing about severance but “cocky want boing boing” is so fucking diabolical combined with the selfie

Killing myself is not enough

So very randomly last April I was pulled into a little friend group and I’ve had to lie to the two other people in this group about having other friends to hang out with!!! Like lol I was/am a friendless loser so you two are it!!!

Like the other friends I’ve had I talk to like once every six months and don’t hang out with in person lol

Invited just those two goons to have dinner w me for my birthday and they seemed shocked it was just the two of them so I lied and said that my other friends and I were meeting up another day >:)

This is not Sad at all don’t say anything

Sugar Pills by I DON’T KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME is so Gregory House coded send post

Gods strongest soldier (me) explaining why it’s actually cool and sexy for me to be reading fanfiction on the corporate iPad

you know you're good at your job when every single person tells you "thank god you're back"

The most intimate experience I’ve ever had with another person has got to be when my friend and I drove around for over an hour and she just patiently listened to my rant about House MD and Hilson even tho she had never watched it and it also wasn’t the type of media she engaged in. And half way through the drive she started constructing a playlist specifically of songs that were so Hilson coded “for inspiration” and once there were a few songs on the playlist we started taking turns explaining what exactly in the song FELT Hilson coded and it’s the closest I’ve felt to being understood

I spent the past 2 weeks in a feverish depressed state I haven’t felt since before I started medication and over the past few days that has been cured by the following (in no particular order):

1) Tomadachi for the switch being announced

2) The Crane Wives tour that I got tickets for

3) Hilson content on my dash (I’m not even that serious about House MD)

4) Seeing my friends :)

5) Will Wood and the Tapeworms Tour

6) Getting into my dream grad school with a partial scholarship

7) Visibly Queer Androgynous Baddie called me hot

Thank u that is all :)