I Fasted All The Way Untill Supper. I Drank Some Tea, Slept, And Went Up To The Roof And Listened To

Morning tea with a little cream

1 mug of vanilla chai tea with splenda 0 cal

I'm down to more 2 more lbs today!! That makes for a total 9lb weight loss. So yes I AM losing weight! My coworker was right!

I guess my fasting is paying off. And all I do I just don't like food. That's all I do. I'm starting to absolutely despise food. It's gross and makes me feel bloated and fat. Ugh

But 9lbs is NOT ENOUGH. I'm aiming for 40lbs ugh 😑. The scale can't move fast enough but I know it's best if I just be patient and wait

Stats for today

Breakfast-

Water - 0 calories

3 cups of vegetable soup - 321 calories with added salt absolutely delicious 😋

1 sandwich (2 slices of wheat bread 110 + 3 baloney slices at 80 calories each) 460

Total- 781

Lunch- pumpkin spice ice coffee - 120 calories

Puts me at 901 calories

Liquid Fast for 15hrs untill 12:45am midnight ✨️

10:21pm - vanilla chai tea with 3 spoonfulls of splenda 0 calories

Recently I have fasted for a full 24 hrs - after that I gave in and rapidly ate some pizza (again) so I had a horrible stumach ache, gas and bloating. I feel terrible as I lack will power and self control. So today will be different. I'm gonna be good and fast untill supper time (let's see how long my will power will last)

Oh and the scale is down 4 more lbs so I'm doing good losing weight but I fear it's not fast enough. Oh well I'll just have to be patient and take the best of what I can get.

Fuck today is gonna be rough. I'm already feeling shaky and nausea due to the fatty sugary foods I ate. I'm also starting to realize that I don't deserve kindness as fat whore. I should be grateful for whatever kindness someone does to me and having sex is a luxury for me. It's a miracle anybody really wants me.... but I know I can redeem myself through fasting and food restriction.

Tomorrow I will start taking pictures of my foods that I eat and post them to my account. Even if I drink a cup of water.

Help me stay motivated!!

24 Oz cup of decaf lipton tea - 2 tea bags, 8 splendas and zero sugar coffee creamer

I wish I could survive on as little calories as possible. I long to punish myself for the wrong I've done to my ex, my mother or just anyone really that I have displeased with my presence. I need to punish myself. Only then I'll be a good girl inside and out. I'd say a good number for myself would be 500 calories. I need to punish myself. I CANNOT exists on food. My suffering will be atonement for all my sins.