Burymeinplainsight - BuryMeInPlainSight

My big jar of zero calorie sweetness

Today I am going to fast once again for 24 hrs. All I will allow myself to have is water, some vitamins and a nice hot shower. And I get to binge watch YouTube!

My fast will start at 7am and ends at 7am tomorrow morning. When I go home tomorrow morning I'll have soup and some veggies.

The clock starts now!!!!

24 Oz cup of decaf lipton tea - 2 tea bags, 8 splendas and zero sugar coffee creamer

Recently I have fasted for a full 24 hrs - after that I gave in and rapidly ate some pizza (again) so I had a horrible stumach ache, gas and bloating. I feel terrible as I lack will power and self control. So today will be different. I'm gonna be good and fast untill supper time (let's see how long my will power will last)

Oh and the scale is down 4 more lbs so I'm doing good losing weight but I fear it's not fast enough. Oh well I'll just have to be patient and take the best of what I can get.

Fuck today is gonna be rough. I'm already feeling shaky and nausea due to the fatty sugary foods I ate. I'm also starting to realize that I don't deserve kindness as fat whore. I should be grateful for whatever kindness someone does to me and having sex is a luxury for me. It's a miracle anybody really wants me.... but I know I can redeem myself through fasting and food restriction.

Went for a morning walk and while drinking some pumpkin spice low cal coffee and then I had some pumpkin chai tea with a freind. I guess today I was craving something sweet (which I always crave) . The world was so still and quiet waking up this chill morning and it's nice and grey outside too. I wish it were more gloomy but it's not.

24 Oz cup of decaf lipton tea - 2 tea bags, 8 splendas and zero sugar coffee creamer

700 calories is my new safe number now. I dont feel safe eating above 700. I know it's not sustainable but I will give everything I got to meet that number. I don't want to be fat anymore it's making me a target for abuse and my weight has kept me trapped in a bad relationship.

Every lb I lose will dig me out of this cage my ex has put me in.

16oz water

Skipped lunch today. Took a melatonin pill 5mg when I got back from grocery shopping after work 😴. I slept from 10am all the way till 6pm.

0 calories for me. Still at 474.

I had a dream I was eating cheesy pizza then I woke up scared that I had gone way over my calorie intake. The pizza was so darn vivid and juicy. Fuck

I think I'll have some tea instead before I head to work. Now that I awoke I'm not that hungry just thristy.