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nilssen​:

𝐖𝐇𝐎: Peter Nilssen & @goldenboyrichards​​​​

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓: Peter’s in his shit, shit, shit era

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄: The Hospital, sorry :/

Shit, shit, shit. Peter was so fucked. He was so fucking fucked. He didn’t know if this was going to bite him in the ass later. It wasn’t his problem, was it? He was told to just keep the skeletons under control, which… he had totally failed at doing. Maybe he wasn’t as good at his job as he thought. Luckily, none of them had been hurt, but with one of their arrests it only seemed logical that someone at Hawkins P.D. would start piecing together that the rest were involved. He had to make sure that didn’t happen.

So, he went to the hospital. There were a million thoughts in his head. What was his purpose for going to the hospital? To find one of his skeletons? Convince them that the explosion wasn’t their fault? Probe them into giving him some sort of information. With a huff, he leaned against the receptionist’s desk, arms folded as he watched and waited for someone he knew to pass by. And then in a chance of luck, Adam Richards walked right past him. “Oh, Adam,” he sang in an attempt to get Adam’s attention. Once he had it, he used two fingers and waved at him with a come hither motion. “What brings you here?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. “You look rather…” he looked the guy up and down,” …Unscathed.”

After worrying for so long about Cole, and making sure he was okay and not in too much pain, Adam had nearly forgotten to check in with anyone else. He couldn’t help it - he had always been a nurturer, someone who took care of others. And now he was taking care of his boyfriend, who he loved very much, and who he had accidentally helped put in the hospital. He was still feeling immense grief about that, along with everything else that had happened at the carnival. 

He was so lost in his own head that as he passed Peter, he didn’t even look at him. Adam was on his way to buy a bottle of water from the vending machine when he heard Peter calling for him. “Oh,” He stopped, turning around and approaching the taller man. “Uh, hey, Peter,” Adam greeted him, trying to ignore the slightly unsettling feeling he had around the man. Peter was fine - nothing was wrong with him. He just knew so much about Adam, and Adam knew very little about the man who was in charge of helping the people of the commune fit back in to society. “I’m here checking on my...friend. Cole,” Adam supplied, lips pressed into a tight smile. “I wasn’t hurt,” He shrugged, not entirely understanding how he could have been near the blast and not felt a thing. It was confusing, but at least he was alive. “It’s really weird,” Adam admitted, brow furrowing in confusion. “I don’t really... remember it. Cole said we lit the explosions, and I heard Billy was arrested.” With a pang of guilt and worry, he looked up at Peter sharply. “Are the rest of us in trouble too?”

mmuscles​:

WHO: thad bradshaw & @goldenboyrichards​ WHAT: thadam kisses at the vending machine (jk they hate each other, it’s Awkward) WHERE: thee hospital

because of nancy, thad had been camped out at the hospital since the night of the explosion. things were tense in the room between himself and nancy, but he figured that was true for everyone. wack times made people act wack, right? he chalked his own disjointed behavior up to that and nancy’s colder than usual disposition up to her injuries. it was comfortable, but thad was confident it would pass. he’d made it most of the summer by her side so far and before he knew it, they’d be back at emerson, back to themselves and away from all this shit. 

still, he needed breathers at times. the energy in the room between nancy and himself could morph into something so biting at times, he didn’t mind taking a break to lurk at the vending machine. purposefully taking a long time, he stared at the options, thinking about how not a single one of them looked appetizing. thad was mid head scratch when the immediately recognizable adam richards towered beside him. expression souring a little, thad punched in some random numbers, just so he had something to look at other than the options in the machine. after he picked, he assumed adam would be preoccupied with the other machine, so thad dared to look over. a lump instantly formed in his throat. he’d heard about cole, and maybe it wasn’t appropriate to ask, but when had thad ever cared about being sensitive? especially at a time like this, that went out the window. “so, uh…” thad crouched down, grabbing his chips from out of the slot. still looking at adam, he as casually as possible asked, “how’s the pretty boy?” yes, he was genuinely curious, but thad would also be lying if it wasn’t satisfying to gauge adam’s reaction to his bold inquiry.

Adam hadn’t left Cole’s side much since he’d woken up, preferring instead to sit and hold his hand. He felt so guilty that he was a portion of the reason why Cole was in here in the first place. The explosion had hurt him. Adam had helped to cause it, not striking the final match like Billy had, but still actively being shitty towards Cole apparently. He’d even done this before, way back right before... before the commune or his death or whatever the fuck had happened. Adam had told Cole to fucking leave him alone, if his nightmare was accurate, and he’d almost strangled him. If he’d been successful? 

Adam couldn’t think about that.

He was so lost in his own thoughts that he didn’t even realize that Thad Bradshaw was also at the vending machine when he arrived for a snack for Cole. As much as Adam wanted to turn around and walk right back inside Cole’s room, he knew that that would be stupid and childish. So, he stood beside the shorter man wordlessly, inserting his dollar and picking out a Reese’s for his boyfriend when Thad finally spoke. 

If Adam had already been holding the candy, he would have dropped it. What fucking right did Thad have to call Cole Pretty Boy? Why right now, when Adam was at one of the lowest points in his life, did he think it was okay to call Adam’s boyfriend pretty? “Don’t fucking call him that,” Adam snapped, jaw tightening in frustration. This was the first time he could remember ever being this angry. “Don’t fucking call him that anymore. Just shut up, Thad.” 

sinclairss​:

who: lucas & @goldenboyrichards​ where: the hospital cafeteria what: comparing notes

hospital food sucked, but he hadn’t eaten yet today and while he’d snagged a bag of skittles from the vending machine near steve’s room earlier in the day, the rainbow candies weren’t sustaining him hours later. lucas wasn’t even really all that hungry, but he thought maybe some of his sluggishness was because all he’d consumed in the last 12 hours was that pack of skittles and three cups of coffee. he paid for a cardboard-looking slice of pizza and some rubbery french fries and turned around. 

it gave him a little sense of déjà vu, actually. suddenly, he was fourteen years old, scanning the hawkins high cafeteria for mike and dustin and wondering if things might be different for him this year. he was fifteen and anxious about splitting his time between the basketball team’s table and hellfire’s. he was sixteen and figured out he didn’t care and sat at a different table almost every day. and then he was eighteen, holding a tray of food after visiting his injured friend in the hospital. shaking off the thought, lucas found the first empty table he could and took a seat. he was halfway through the pizza when he glanced up and noticed someone he knew. well, knew of, more like. adam richards was the kind of jock lucas had idolized as a kid…and then he was gone. he’d come back recently and all lucas knew about him now was that he’d been at the forest commune and that he’d almost had to get between him and cole montgomery during the carnival fiasco…until that thing had attacked him. he lifted his hand in what he hoped was a welcoming kind of wave. “hey. need some company?” 

Cole was alive. He was going to be okay. Things would eventually go back to normal, right? So why did Adam still feel so fucking shitty?

Probably because Cole had told him about everything that he’d done. Only... it wasn’t Adam, was it? He had blacked out. He couldn’t remember any of it, and that was terrifying. To not be in control of your own body, making your own decisions and being made into a weapon? It horrified Adam. It devastated him. To think that he was responsible for so much death and destruction made him feel sick.

So sick that he had no appetite. He’d finally been forced to leave the room in order to eat something, but Adam couldn’t. He’d been playing with his Jello, scooping it up and letting it slide off of his fork back into the container. It was soothing, in a weird way, and Adam just had to waste enough time that it wouldn’t be suspicious when he returned. 

At the sound of a voice, he looked up with a confused expression. Oh, it was one of those kids from the carnival, Nancy’s brother’s friend. Adam offered him a small nod, kicking the chair across from him out for Lucas to take. “Uh, thanks,” He tried for a smile, but it felt fake even to him. “Lucas, right?” He asked, only vaguely aware of him. “You were.... you were there, right?” Adam asked, stuffing his hands into the pocket of his hoodie. “Were you hurt?” Did I hurt you? Adam was asking, begging for the answer to be no. 

loverboymontgomery​:

who: Cole & @goldenboyrichards​​

where: Cole’s hospital room :’) 

Everything hurt: his head, his abdomen, his shoulder, his throat. He blinked, but his eyes were heavy and hard to open. What the fuck had happened? His head felt foggy, and his memories were short and senseless. He saw a flash of the Tunnel of Love ride, some unidentified black goo, an explosion, and… Adam looking angry. At him. Adam shoving him away, telling Cole to ‘leave him the fuck alone.’ 

Cole tried to turn onto his side, to hide his teary eyes from the door, in case anyone walked in. Only, moving was no longer simple– he must’ve broken a rib or two, because the pain that lit up Cole’s body was almost strong enough to knock him out. “Fuck,” he exclaimed, brows knit together and stars in his eyes. If he could keep his eyes open long enough to look around, he might have seen Steve in the bed across the room or the figure entering the room and nearing his bed.

Lifting his hands to his face, Cole shielded his eyes from the fluorescent lights. “Why are the lights so fucking bright,” he grumbled to no one in particular. He was about to complain about the bed being angled too high when he locked eyes with him. 

His stomach did a backflip and Cole’s mouth dropped open. He desperately searched Adam’s eyes, trying to decipher who he was right now– his Adam or… whatever he’d been at the carnival? 

“Hey,” he managed, after a beat of silence. Cole desperately wanted to be held, to have some confirmation that Adam was himself again, to push the memories of anyone else to the edge of his mind. 

After getting off of the Tunnel of Love, Adam couldn’t remember a single thing until he woke up surrounded by ash and smoke. Hours of his life were just missing, gone completely as if he’d fallen asleep and woken up. Adam had been popular in high school - he wasn’t unknown at parties. But even back then, he had never truly gotten so drunk that he blacked out. Whatever had happened to him at the carnival was something else entirely, something much more confusing. 

But when he’d come to? All Adam had seen was carnage. People injured, people dead, and Cole being loaded into a fucking ambulance. Adam had been too dazed to follow; he needed a minute to breath and figure out what had even happened. Because he just didn’t know - but there were several people glaring at him like he was responsible for this. Not solely, the others from the forest commune had helped, it seemed. But.... what had they done? And why?

Once he had fully come back into his own body, he remembered the nightmare he’d had. Or maybe it was a memory? But... but Adam would never hurt Cole. Even nightmare Adam hadn’t wanted to. But the thought of shoving him, pinning him against a wall and telling him to ‘fucking leave me alone already’ made Adam’s chest ache. 

As he caught a ride with someone to the hospital, he couldn’t help the tears that collected in his eyes. Just the thought that there was maybe a chance that he’d actually done that made Adam feel like he was going to throw up. 

Adam had waited while Cole lay on a bed, resting after breaking his rib. He couldn’t imagine that he was comfortable - that it didn’t hurt him. Adam would do anything in the world to take the pain from him, add it to his body instead of Cole’s. But there was nothing he could do but watch as his chest rose and fell, steady with the beeping of the heart monitor he was hooked up to. 

When Cole finally came to and asked about the lights, Adam leapt up immediately, reaching over to flick one set of fluorescents off. He thought about turning both off, but... well, what if Cole didn’t want to be in the dark? What if he was scared of Adam? His worst fear was seemingly confirmed when Cole stared at him, studying Adam’s eyes. 

Arms wrapping around him to hold himself together, Adam met his gaze sheepishly. Not because he wanted to, but because Cole deserved to see that it was him standing in front of him.  “Hey,” He replied, feeling far too casual given every fucking thing the two of them had been through. He kept his distance, standing by the light switch near the doorway. “Are you.... is it okay that I’m here?” Adam asked quietly, looking down at the floor. “I was worried about you. I don’t... I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember anything.” 

jackforeman​:

All Jack could offer Adam was a shrug of his shoulders about the whole thing. Weird was really the only way to describe anything these days. “Yeah, it was. I wasn’t hungover or anything when I got home, so I don’t know. Maybe there was something in what we drank? That couldn’t be right, though–it was all in cans.” None of it made sense, but that seemed to be something the two could agree on, besides that things definitely could have gone worse. Cole and Adam weren’t hurt, and that was all that mattered.

Jack wasn’t really the most socially aware person on the planet, but he knew when something was up, especially when it was with Adam. He’d been so used to his ticks and tells when they played together, so much so that it was almost speechless. Jack knew from the way Adam looked (or even threw a football) how he was really doing. “Yeah, I kind of noticed. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, like, pry at anything when we were at the rock, it just … I know you, and I could tell there was something up between you guys.” Maybe it was the discussion about how they’d left for the woods that set Adam in a bad mood. He’d said that it was something about when they were gone, after all. Did he want to know, though? The word we meant that Cole did know something when he was at Melvald’s, but hadn’t said anything. Maybe that was the reason for Jo and Julie acting so strange, too. “I don’t know, do I want to know?” he asked, letting out a shaky laugh. “Not that you really had a choice, if Cole had told you, but … do you wish you didn’t? If that makes sense.”

Adam frowned at Jack not being hungover and them all drinking from cans. So maybe they could rule drugs out. “This whole thing is so confusing,” Adam replied, rubbing at his forehead with the heel of his hand. He was just glad they’d all made it safely, though and that nothing worse had happened. Adam didn’t think he could process any more bad shit right now, honestly. 

Playing together for years in high school left Adam and Jack very well acquainted. Jack knew Adam, and Adam knew him - he knew that Jack was a good guy, one of the best honestly. And he hadn’t told Jack about Cole before not because he didn’t trust him specifically, just...being open in Indiana wasn’t easy. Adam couldn’t be sure which of his jock friends might turn on him, hurting him or Cole for their relationship. But... Adam and Jack were bonded for life now by whatever had happened to them three years ago. There was no going back from that. “Yeah...there was. There is.” Adam corrected, staring down at his hands in his lap to avoid looking directly at his friend. “We’re...together,” He admitted quietly, having told a grand total of two people that he was gay before now. Cole and Chrissy. It never felt easier to expose that part of himself - but loving Cole was the easiest thing Adam had ever done. He just always had to remember that part when telling someone, to make the confession itself not seem so big. “I wish...” Adam sighed, sitting up straighter and leaning back in his chair. “Honestly, dude, I wish I didn’t know. I wish Cole hadn’t told me,” He admitted finally, not wanting to blame Cole. It wasn’t his fault. The thought itself was just so unthinkable to Adam, and he wished he could have lived in ignorance for longer. “But it’s your choice to make, man. I can’t make it for you.” 

thequeenofhawkins​:

There were only a handful of people that made Chrissy feel truly safe or like herself. At the top of that list rested Adam Richards. Childhood best friend. Ex-boyfriend. Closest friend. She felt like there was no one she knew better. Cut from the same cloth, some would say. They both ticked off that boy-next-door/girl-next-door behavior and both deserved more than what they were dealt from life. Namely? Death. 

Chrissy shut the door behind her, given Adam’s permission. She let out a soft laugh. If anything, Adam’s mom would probably leap with joy knowing they were in his bedroom with the door shut. She knew their parents hoped that it would be Chrissy and Adam that ended up together in the end, which would never happen in a million years. “Tell me about it. My mom wanted to get me drug tested when I came back home,” and Laura Cunningham had drug tested her daughter, only for the test to come back negative. 

“The same,” she answered, vaguely. Whenever Chrissy thought back to her time on the commune, she couldn’t remember anything. If she tried hard enough she could remember being in Eddie’s trailer, then in the forest, and then back home, but any memory of the forest just felt like a memory that wasn’t hers. Like, they belonged to someone else or… they weren’t entirely real at all. “What do you mean?” She asked, turning her head towards him. The more she thought about it, Chrissy was able to convince herself that she had willingly gone, even through all the fallacies. “Like, that we were never there?”

Chrissy was probably his closest friend besides Cole. She knew so much about him; so many small personal details she’d accumulated over the years of them being family friends, then awkward boyfriend/girlfriend, and finally actual friends. Being around her had become so much easier once he had come out - he felt like she really understood him. She had seen the bad with the good, and accepted him because of who he was. In Adam’s eyes, there was no one in the world with a better heart that Chrissy Cunningham.

Rebecca Richards had always wanted them to end up together - she had taken their breakup worse than anyone else. Adam had had to assure her multiple times that they weren’t getting back together, no matter how perfect they seemed for one another. They were better off as friends. And though he couldn’t tell her this - Adam was gay. If he could fall in love with a girl, it would be someone like Chrissy, but he just wasn’t interested. He hadn’t been since the moment he met Cole Montgomery and he realized that he could only ever love him. “Thank god mine didn’t. Although, maybe we should have,” He said, brow furrowing in thought. After all, Adam thought there was a good chance that maybe they had been drugged with something unless Cole was right about everything.

Adam was terrified about what not remembering meant. If there was nothing to remember, and he had died, did that mean he hadn’t gone to Heaven or Hell? It had been years since Adam had really felt like he belonged in church, and he really didn’t know if he could believe in a God that hated him for being in love with Cole, but..... he just couldn’t believe that he’d gone no where. Adam really didn’t like thinking about that. “No, I mean...well, maybe?” Adam shrugged. “Maybe we were drugged and taken there or something.” He proposed, preferring to believe that rather than the possibility that he had died. 

mmuscles​:

WHO: thad bradshaw & @goldenboyrichards​

WHAT: gay hostility

WHERE: blue quarry mall

thad didn’t know much about this adam guy, but it seemed at every turn, he was there. with cole, near the keg, and sometimes he remembered jack would talk about him. lots of things bothered him about hawkins, but the latest grating factor was that he couldn’t figure out the appeal to this adam kid. he came off so…ugh? even after their run in at the grocery, before he had known that was adam, he felt sickened by the guy’s natural sweetness. thad wasn’t even sure why he was thinking about adam ( and by extent cole ) when he had a perfectly shitty mall in front of him to make fun of. he hadn’t come to buy anything, of course, he’d never stoop that low. but belittling things always seemed to make him feel better, so with nothing but time he’d come to the mall, only to find himself lost in a rare thought. 

as if he’d willed adam in front of him, thad immediately clocked the other as soon as he came out of a storefront, and before he could think about what he was doing, his feet were carrying him to adam. “hey man!” he called, trying to insure the other heard him. as he barreled his way over to the other, he hadn’t thought a lick about what he was going to say, and wound up standing there stupidly with his hands on his hips, “so…” he started pointedly, keeping the same force as he asked his question, “where’d you get that crewneck?”

Adam had never been the jealous type - at the risk of sounding conceded, he’d never really had any reason to be. Growing up, he had always been one of the best players on the field. Once he realized he was gay, he’d only ever been with Cole, who he knew was just as head-over-heels for him as Adam was for Cole. No, he’d never been jealous, even now. Adam wasn’t jealous of Thad. He just hated his attitude, hated the way he thought about Hawkins and about it’s people. He hated that he’d cheated on Nancy Wheeler with Cole. Adam wasn’t sure he was capable of hating a person, but if he could, then Thad would be second only to Tommy H.

Running into him at the mall was probably the last thing Adam wanted to do. If only he’d been able to tell Cindy no when she’d asked him to drive her here, to wait for her while she and her friend picked out things for some 4th of July party they were going to. But instead, he’d come inside and had even decided to go into a few stores himself, looking to update his wardrobe from three years ago a little bit. As much as Adam wanted to pretend he hadn’t seen Thad, he couldn’t ignore his loud greeting. “Oh, hey, dude,” He replied tightly, trying to still sound happy and carefree. Adam could totally be carefree. Cares? Please. He was free of them! “My...crewneck?” Adam asked, looking down at his shirt and studying it for a moment. If he was being honest, he hadn’t thought at all about his shirt before putting it on. Was something wrong with it? “The Gap, I guess?” Adam looked back up at Thad in confusion. “Why, were you looking to get one too?” He asked, raising an eyebrow. 

loverboymontgomery​:

When Adam passed Cole his hoodie, he smiled. Though it was a cliche, he loved wearing Adam’s clothes– so much so that he’d periodically stolen dozens of shirts, hoodies, and jackets over the years. He brushed his hand against Adam’s and tugged the hoodie on, trying to act cool, calm, and collected when he was anything but. Both because he was freaking out about whatever had grabbed them in the lake and because Adam was here, looking at him with those eyes, and he wasn’t allowed to hold him.

“Kind of wish I did,” Cole said, with a sigh. He wished he had answers for Adam– or rather, that his answers made any fucking sense. When Max had told him about the Upside Down and the Mindflayer and the fucked up shit happening in Hawkins, it had actually made him feel better, for a while. He finally knew that Adam hadn’t died hating him, that he was… possessed. But when Adam showed back up with a completely different story, any comfort Cole took in the truth was long gone. 

I’m not going anywhere. Cole closed his eyes for a moment and willed himself to believe it. Only, Adam couldn’t guarantee that. Cole couldn’t guarantee that either. Adam coming back both gave Cole a future again and threatened his utter demise. Losing Adam once had already destroyed him, but the thought of losing him twice felt like a death sentence. He did his best to muster up a smile, so as not to worry his boyfriend, but Cole knew better. Adam was always able to tell when something was up. 

Cole knew Adam’s answer before he elaborated, just based on the way he said his name. He nodded profusely along as Adam spoke, as guilt settled into his stomach. Of course Adam couldn’t leave his family now. He’d just gotten caught up in the moment, in his own fears, and was desperately trying to find something to cling to. “Of course, love. Of course,” he murmured, squeezing Adam’s hand back. “I’m sorry, that was… I was being emotional. I don’t want you to leave your family.” If anything, Cole wanted to bring Adam’s family with them. “I understand how they feel. I’m so scared of losing you again,” he finally admitted, rubbing circles on Adam’s hand with his thumb. 

Their relationship had never gotten to look like a straight couple’s. In high school, Adam didn’t get to walk down the hall hand in hand with Cole, or kiss him when they got to their classroom door. Cole couldn’t show up to Adam’s games with Adam’s jersey number painted on his cheek. They couldn’t be out. That just wasn’t an option in Hawkins, Indiana. But they had always managed to find little ways of reclaiming the public displays of affection that they deserved. From sitting too close on the bus to away games to a casual arm thrown across the other’s shoulder, Adam and Cole had always tried to show how much they loved one another in their own way. Cole wearing Adam’s clothes was probably Adam’s favorite, though. He loved seeing the other in his hoodies or sweaters; he’d even given Cole his fucking letterman jacket in school, almost daring anyone to say something. So giving him another hoodie tonight was more than worth it if it warmed Cole up and brought a smile to his face after everything that had happened. 

“Yeah, me too,” Adam agreed, leaning back on the log. If only it was that simple. If only they’d had some sort of weird, freaky, shared nightmare or something. But something had happened, hadn’t it? Adam had felt it just as much as Cole. And that didn’t comfort him in the end. “But, we’re okay. Right? We both lived. We’re both here. We’ll get through this.” Maybe that was too optimistic, but Adam had always brought that to their relationship. Where Cole was more pragmatic, more understanding of the cruelties of the world, Adam was kind. He was gentle. He saw the best in all situations and people. And right now, they needed a little bit of optimism before they....well, before they drowned. 

It killed Adam to turn Cole down. If he could just go, he would in a heartbeat. That had always been the plan, after all - for them to leave, runaway together and move out to California. Somewhere where they could just be together. Where no one would hurt them for holding hands, or would look at them strangely for living together. And Adam had ruined that. Whether he meant to or not, Adam had kept them from leaving, and he was doing it again. It broke him to do that, but he couldn’t just leave his family. Not right now. “I’m so sorry, honey,” Adam told him, bringing Cole’s hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. If someone saw right now, Adam would say he was fucking kidding or something - but he needed to comfort Cole. “No, baby, it’s okay to be emotional.” Fuck, Adam was emotional. He felt sometimes like his heart was too big for his rib cage - it expanded out, bloody and raw for the world to see and judge and treat however it saw fit. He couldn’t hide a fucking emotion if he tried. “You won’t.” Adam swore. “I promise, Cole, I’m going to do everything that I can to be with you forever. Whatever happened before - we’ll just make sure it doesn’t happen again, okay? Together.” 

jackforeman​:

“Wait–what?” Jack asked, shaking his head in confusion. “You’re telling me there’s something in the water now? Fuck, man. I’m glad you guys are okay, though.” Maybe going to the cabin hadn’t been such a baad idea after all. He still didn’t really know what had gone on in there, but at least no one had really gotten injured. At least, not beyond some glass being on the floor, which he thought he could recall from earlier in the evening. “It was pretty weird on a few levels. First, the kids wanted to play spin-the-bottle, which got kind of awkward, and then … I think the bottle must’ve broken, because I remember someone trying to clean up glass. Then, we left the room, and there was–I think there was another room that had more furniture and shit in it, but I can’t really remember. Maybe I drank too much beer, or something,” he said with a shrug. That, or he had an issue with memory loss, between not remembering the commune or the cabin too clearly.

Honestly, Jack wasn’t really sure how he was doing. Everything had felt so strange since he’d been back. Between having to see Steve again and how his sisters had reacted to his homecoming, Jack wasn’t sure what to think, or feel. He didn’t even have much time to process it. “I guess as okay as I can be, you know? I’m just glad to be home. It’s just so weird, I’m trying to piece together what happened to us.” No one would really tell him anything, just that they thought he’d joined a cult-like group and he was gone. “Did you, like, happen to ask anyone for any information, or anything like that? I ran into Cole at Melvald’s and he said you guys had hung out, so I don’t know if he remembered anything. Steve was kind of weird about it, and Jo just won’t shut up asking about what kind of shit happened there.”

Adam nodded solemnly, shooting Jack a grateful smile. “Thanks, dude. I don’t know what it was. Like, one second something had us, the next it was gone.” He didn’t know what sort of stuff lived in Lovers’ Lake, or if it was just some algae or something, like someone else had suggested. “All of this shit is so weird.” None of it made any since to Adam - nothing did since he had gotten back. Everything was just so damn confusing. As he listened to Jack talk about the cabin, his brow furrowed further. “You okay?” He asked him, concerned about the memory loss. Maybe Jack had drunken too much. “The cabin sounds weird, too, dude.” 

As okay as I can be. Yeah, Adam did know. He knew that all too well. He didn’t feel like he was doing a great job of processing all of this, but at least he was trying to move forward and keep going. If he let himself focus on all of it for too long, he thought he might just explode. Sitting up straighter at the mention of Cole, Adam avoided Jack’s eyes. He wasn’t really sure if he should tell Jack about what Cole had told him or not - Adam sure didn’t want to know. But maybe....maybe Jack deserved an explanation of some sort. “Yeah, Cole’s been coming by a lot,” Adam admitted, biting his lip. He’d never told Jack about his relationship with Cole, and honestly, he wasn’t sure if he should or not. Jack wasn’t a dick, but being gay in Indiana would make anyone hesitant to come out to a jock. “You know, we’re really close,” He finally settled on, neutrally; if Jack wanted to ask, then Adam was ready for it. “....he said something pretty weird about.... about how we left.” He told Jack, finally looking at him. “If you want to know, I’ll tell you. But it’s fucked up. Once you know, it’s not really something you can un-know. You know?” Adam rambled, probably not making much sense. 

jackforeman​:

WHO: jack foreman & @goldenboyrichards​ WHERE: the foreman household

Jack hadn’t seen Adam since the night that everyone had decided to go to Lover’s Lake. The two had split up, mostly because Jo was on the side of going to the cabin, and Jack swore to himself that he would never leave her to deal with shit on her own, not as long as he could help it. It was the right decision, this much he knew, because they’d wound up in some weird ass portal, or something. He wasn’t entirely sure still. 

They sat in the Foreman family’s basement, where Jack had seen Jo for the first time since coming back, and the image of the shock on her face still replayed in his head on loop. “Alright, dude, be real with me. Did I miss anything crazy at the lake while Jo insisted on going into the cabin?” he asked, turning to his friend. “I wanted to stay with you guys, I really did, but Jo wanted to go, and I couldn’t really tell her I wouldn’t go with her after, you know … going missing for a few years. I feel like I shouldn’t really leave her when I have the chance to stay with her.” Jack was sure he didn’t have to explain, not to Adam, but felt the need to after doing a lot of explaining in the past week. “Sorry, I’m so used to having to defend every single choice I’ve been making to everyone I know since we’ve been back.”

Adam still had zero clue what had actually happened at Lovers’ Lake, especially with the other group. He’d heard bits and pieces of their adventure in the cabin that night from people as they’d partied afterwards, but nothing concrete really. All Adam knew was that this town was seriously weird, weirder than it had been a few years ago, apparently. He was just glad he’d been with Cole and had been able to make sure he was okay after whatever had happened to them in the water. 

It was good to catch up with Jack, though. They’d been teammates and friends for years, and Adam wanted to make sure he was handling everything okay now that they were back here in Hawkins. “Yeah, man,” He nodded, setting his can of Coke down on the coffee table. “Okay, so it was pretty normal at first. We were drinking a bit, we decided to go for a swim, and then the waves picked up. Cole and I were having trouble making it back, and then something grabbed out legs...” Adam said, biting his lip at the memory. It had been a terrifying few minutes - part of him had been worried he wasn’t going to make it back to shore. “Whatever it was didn’t leave any mark on me or anything, though. Cole’s ankle looked kind of fucked for a minute, but then it was gone? I have no clue what that means.” He admitted with a shrug. “Something weird happened to one of the kids too, but I wasn’t really paying attention during that part. What about the cabin?” 

As Jack explained his decision, Adam nodded. If his own sisters had been there, he probably would have followed them too. It was hard to come back and face people who you’d left behind, especially family. “I get it, dude,” Adam told Jack, giving him a small smile. “You don’t owe me anything.” Adam understood that feeling all too well, too. Everyone wanted to know why he’d left three years ago, now that he was back. It was a question that he kept doing his best to avoid, when he could. “Are you doing okay? With everything?” Adam asked cautiously, dipping into feelings territory. They weren’t known for being vulnerable around each other, but they’d had one hell of a shared traumatic experience. Talking about everything with the forest commune probably wouldn’t hurt. 

loverboymontgomery​:

Cole was certainly freaked out by what had happened at the lake. One minute, it felt like high school again– like they were just hanging out with friends at the lake. Then, whatever the fuck was going on reared its ugly head again, freaked Adam out again. That was the worst part to Cole. He desperately wanted Adam’s second chance at life– or re-entering into society, whatever– to be positive. He’d even settle for bearable.

When they’d come away from the shore, Cole had found refuge in the fire. It was starting to get chilly, and he felt like moping alone for a while. Let everyone else talk it out and theorize, but he wanted nothing to do with it. All he could think about was getting out of Hawkins. Clearly, he and Adam had no shot at a normal life here for a multitude of reasons. Their plan had always been to get away, what was stopping them now?

Cole tore his eyes away from the crackling fire as Adam sat down next to him. Despite everything, he smiled at his boyfriend. This felt familiar– the sensation that Adam was nearby but never too close so as to arouse suspicion. Finally, the point in the night where it was safe to be close again, even if they still had to be on guard. 

“Hey,” he echoed, taking the drink with a grateful smile. “It’s really not bad. Maybe I made it all up,” Cole confessed. “And you? Are you okay?” he looked Adam up and down for any sign of injury or distress. Whatever had happened, Adam had been right there, too. “No–” Cole protested quickly, “It’s okay. Really.” Then, quieter, he chanced: “Just… stay with me?” 

In the dark, Cole reached over and took Adam’s hand in his own. It was a risk, but he needed the reassurance. After a few moments of silence, words tumbled frantically out of Cole’s mouth: “What if we just got out of here? We could go anywhere, really, just… maybe it’s Hawkins, and it’s time go. Like we always said. Then all of this wouldn’t matter. I can fix everything.” Cole was embarrassed by his pleading tone.

Being co-host of the camping trip, Adam had had to spend awhile checking in on everyone else when they got back. A lot of theories were being thrown around, as well as stories from the cabin, but he wasn’t paying much attention to them. They sort of went over his head. He didn’t know what grabbed him and Cole, but it had felt stronger than algae. He couldn’t be sure, though. 

Cole drifting away from the others wasn’t surprising to Adam. He understood needing a minute after all of that, and it was starting to get a bit cold out here now that the sun had gone down. Without asking, he passed Cole one of the hoodies he’d brought with him in his duffle bag. If anyone noticed that Cole was wearing his clothes, Adam was kind of beyond caring. He’d do anything that Cole needed him to do right now. 

“You didn’t make it up,” Adam assured with sad eyes, hating that what had happened to them was real. If only it could have been some fucked up nightmare or something. “I’m fine,” He assured, giving Cole a small smile. Honestly, he was worried. But there were no physical marks on him, and he and Cole had both eventually made it to shore. Adam would be okay - this was just another weird thing to add to the list of awful stuff happening around him lately. “I’m not going anywhere.” Adam glanced around, checking to make sure no one was paying too much attention to them. Once he was sure they were safe, he squeezed Cole’s knee in reassurance. 

As Cole began begging him to leave with him, Adam’s heart ached. That had always been the plan, hadn’t it? But Adam had fucked it up somehow three years ago, leaving Cole alone to pick up the pieces. And as much as Adam wanted to go now, he thought about his mother. His dad. Beth, Cindy. He couldn’t just leave them again. He couldn’t run away this time. When he and Cole left, they deserved to know in advance. “Cole,” Adam began sadly, squeezing his hand. “Cole, I want that so bad. I want us to go to California like we planned. I want that.” He assured him, voice steady because someone had to be. “But I can’t leave my family right now. My mom...I don’t think she’s sleeping much, these days. My dad calls home to check and make sure I’m still here every few hours when he’s at work. My sisters didn’t stop crying for hours when I finally came back,” Adam rambled, running a hand through his hair. “I just can’t go right now. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.” 

WHO: Adam Richards & @loverboymontgomery​

WHAT: A sweet lil fireside check-in

WHERE: Lovers’ Lake

Adam couldn’t begin to explain what had happened to them tonight on the shore. One minute, everything was fun and happy; the closest Adam had felt to normal since coming back. And then the waves had picked up, and he’d not been able to make it back to shore with Cole. Something had grabbed them both - Adam had felt it - but only Cole had gotten marks. None of it made any sense, and Adam was so fucking sick of nothing making sense. 

He wished, more than anything, that he could just have normal issues to deal with for five minutes instead of whatever this stuff was. 

After they’d made it back to the campsite, Adam had tried to stick as close to Cole as possible without being too clingy. He just needed to know that his boyfriend was okay. It had been scary for both of them, but Cole was the only one to actually get hurt from it. Maybe Adam hadn’t been grabbed as hard?

“Hey,” He greeted Cole later, when most people had drifted back towards the shore or to their tents. “How’s your ankle?” Sitting beside Cole at the fire, he offered him a drink and a small smile. Adam knew that the marks had disappeared from Cole’s leg - another thing he couldn’t explain - but he wasn’t sure if it still hurt. “I can go put some ice from the cooler in a bag, if you want. Or someone might have brought a First Aid kit.” That would have been a good idea for them, honestly. 

thequeenofhawkins​:

𝐖𝐇𝐎: Chrissy Cunningham & @goldenboyrichards​

𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓: Just ur annual skeletons talking about their time at the commune!

𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄: The Richards Residence

Chrissy had been home for less than a week. Five days. Five miserable days back at home. It almost reminded her of why she had left already. In her head, Chrissy had always planned her grand escape, but that involved a cheer scholarship to Purdue, not getting high in a commune for the last two years. Two years she could barely remember. The memories were fuzzy, as if they weren’t actually her own. It was after breakfast, and a few choice words from Laura Cunningham, that Chrissy ran upstairs to her room and called the Richards landline. 

Thirty minutes later, she was walking up to the Richards house, and heading up straight to Adam’s room. “Your mom isn’t going to kill me if I close the door, is she?” Chrissy asked. She felt silly. She was a twenty year old woman, but she still felt like that 17 year old girl. As if she hadn’t really grown in all this time. 

If there was one constant in Chrissy’s life, it was Adam Richards. Childhood friend, Hawkins Middle Snowball date, ex-boyfriend. He ticked it all off. And somehow, they had even ended up in that commune together. She flopped down on his bed, staring up at the ceiling. “Can I ask you something? Do you… Do you remember anything from the commune?” Then she flipped on her side to look at him, asking what she deemed the most unfortunate question ever. “Was I really high the entire time?”

Being home was an adjustment. It had to be for all of them, Adam was sure. After all, reentering life in Hawkins after two or three years away was so confusing. So many things had stayed exactly the same, but there were little differences here and there, just enough to make home feel like a strange new world. 

That was why Adam had been happy to hear from Chrissy. If there was one person in this world besides Cole who made him feel completely at peace, it was Chrissy Cunningham. Although they’d never worked out romantically for some very obvious reasons, she’d always showed him nothing but kindness and acceptance. She was one of the sweetest people he’d ever met, and he was glad that they’d stayed friends over the years. When he’d found out she’d been gone too, it had made him sad. Adam had always hoped Chrissy of all people would get to make her escape from Hawkins. 

At Chrissy’s question, Adam shrugged. “Probably not? She’s just glad I’m home. I think she’d more worried about what I’ve done the last three years than you being in my room alone with me.” Mrs. Richards had taken it hard when he and Chrissy had “broken up,” but she still adored Chrissy and thought the world of her. Adam doubted she’d care about them being alone together with the door closed. 

Adam frowned, faltering at the mention of the commune as he laid down on the bed. “I don’t.” He admitted quietly. There was just...nothing. He didn’t remember anyone or anything the last three years, no pain or happiness or anything. That was the scariest part of it all, to him; especially after Cole told him that he’d...that he’d died. Because if that were the case, what did that mean about Adam’s lack of anything? That was part of why Adam couldn’t - and wouldn’t - accept that that might be what happened. Not yet. “I get flashes of the week or so before I must have left, but nothing after. What about you?” He turned to look at her, propping himself up on an elbow. “I don’t know, Chrissy. I don’t think I would have done that. But maybe something happened to us?” 

kvrenwheeler​:

recently karen had been feeling like she had more mouths to feed right now than she did when all of her children were living at home permanently. with nancy having a friend over for the summer, and that boyfriend of hers in tow as well. then there was michael and his friends who often stayed for dinner too, and obviously ted and holly as well. it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but overwhelming since the majority she had to do herself. 

so the grocery shop was currently a lot more draining than usual, given the sheer amount of groceries was almost twice as much as usual. but it did give her time to herself, however short. 

abandoning the cart on the other side of the aisle, she moved over to grab a specific box of cereal at mike’s request of course. it was only when a loud crashing sound came from behind her, that the box fell from her hand and clattered to the ground as well. 

turning on her heel to locate the noise, she was met with a young man who had pushed his cart into hers. ah, that must have been it. “it’s no problem.” karen couldn’t help but notice that he seemed a little on edge. then came the brief recognition, which caused her to frown. “are you a friend of my son’s?” technically speaking he could also be a friend of nancy’s, she just couldn’t put her finger on it. 

Adam was thankful that he’d only crashed into the woman’s cart, at least. If he’d actually hurt her or knocked over a display or something, that would have been so embarrassing. He moved quickly around their carts to help grab the item she’d dropped, handing it back to her before returning. “Sorry, I need to pay more attention,” He apologized again, offering her a small, sheepish smile. 

At her question about her son, Adam frowned, trying to figure out who she was talking about. After a second, he realized she was Mrs. Wheeler, so she must have been talking about the nerdy kid who had a little friend group that he spent so much time with. Adam didn’t really know them, but he’d seen them a few times at the pool, he thought. “Oh, no,” He shook his head, smiling slightly. Adam did know that kid’s older sister, though. She’d been a year or two behind him in school, but she’d saved his science grade when he retook the class. “But Nancy used to be my lab partner! I think I came over once to study.” It wasn’t like they had been close or anything, and honestly ‘studying’ had been him staring at his textbook in confusion for two hours while Nancy made flash cards. Still, he remembered Mrs. Wheeler being nice when he’d come over, and he sort of remembered her coming to the pool a lot back when he’d been a lifeguard with Billy and Heather. “I’m Adam Richards, ma’am.” He told her with a small smile, holding a hand out for her to shake. 

jackforeman​:

WHO: jack foreman & @goldenboyrichards WHERE: walking out of the hawkins forest lol

This wasn’t the first time that Jack and Adam had been together and not known where they were in the morning, but this time, it was different. This time, they were walking out of the fucking forest, and he had no clue where they were. It wasn’t easy to get lost in Hawkins, but something felt different, like he’d hit his head or suffered the worst hangover of his life. What the hell had they been doing, throwing a party in the woods? It wasn’t something that the two did often, not when they had each other’s houses to do that.

“Dude, what the fuck?” he asked as they stepped onto the road. His clothes looked like they’d been raked through the mud about ten times, and his legs felt like they hadn’t walked in years. He was sore, and it was like he’d just been beaten up. “Where the fuck are we?”

Jack turned toward Adam, who looked about the same that he did, and shook his head. Something had to be off. “I don’t have my car here, man, I don’t even know where it would be Did someone drop us off? Maybe we should head to Melvald’s and ask to use the phone or something. I don’t want to go to the police and get drug tested or something. I don’t know, you got any better ideas?”

Adam didn’t usually get this drunk. In fact, he couldn’t actually remember a time when he had blacked out completely like this, to the point where he didn’t even remember the last thing that he remembered. Every part of his body was sore, but maybe that was from sleeping in the forest? Or maybe he and Jack had truly done something stupid, like got dragged into a fight with other guys or something?

He had no clue, but at least he wasn’t alone. That might have been even more disorienting. His clothes were a mess, and he was pretty sure there were multiple leaves stuck in his hair, but at least he was mostly okay. “I have no clue, dude,” Adam shook his head at Jack’s question. “I don’t remember anything. Do you?” 

At the mention of a car, Adam’s face fell. Shit. If only one of them had driven here, but given the fact that neither of the cars were anywhere to be seen, it was unlikely. Walking all the way back would suck, but maybe it would give them time to remember something. “I guess? Must have, because I don’t think we would have walked all the way out here for a party.” Maybe Cole had, or one of the other guys from football. But then, why had they left them? Why not wait for them to wake up? “Who should we call?” He asked Jack, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t remember doing drugs, dude. Do you think we were drugged?” That worried him a lot, but it made more sense than straight laced, wholesome Adam Richards taking something stronger than weed. 

mmuscles​:

growing up, thad’s family had staff who did the trivial things for them like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, so this little trip to the supermarket wasn’t exactly his idea of fun, or even necessary. his motel room was pathetically barren of anything other than a bottle of wine and some leftovers. he grew tired of having to mingle with townfolk at restaurants each and every time he got hungry, so here he was, begrudgingly picking up some stuff. thad didn’t even know how to cook. his cart was filled with an unappetizing assortment of junk foods and frozen meals. it was worth it to spend some with nancy, he figured. 

sighing, thad pulled his crumpled, chicken scratch grocery list out of his pocket and tried to locate what he had and hadn’t picked out. he was itching to get out of the place, especially after arguing with an employee about melvald’s limited stock. he didn’t understand why the store didn’t carry kale or pate. to him, that was like a bar not having beer. ridiculous. 

right as he was starting to get his bearings, a cart crashed into the back of his ankles, causing him to yelp and snap his head around. he looked at the other with utter disgust, “hey pal,” he began, “i’m trying to grocery shop? do you fucking mind?” he asked. the unaware stranger seemed to be just like everyone else in this town. stupid, reckless, etc. first that moron cole dented his car, then there was that freak on the street with the walkman, and now this wastoid? when was it going to end? he scoffed turning back around, “yeah, i’m sure you’re real fucking sorry…” thad shook his head, then looked back at his list. well, while the other was here, he figured it wouldn’t hurt to ask, “hey, do they sell like, caviar here?”

Adam flinched as he hit the other person, not usually so clumsy or careless. And typically it wouldn’t matter - the other person would forgive him and move on with their life. But not the guy in front of him. Instead, he seemed really and truly pissed, which Adam felt like was a bit of an overreaction. “I said I was sorry,” Adam repeated, eyebrows pulled together in a frustrated expression. He wasn’t used to this much hostility from anyone, let alone a stranger. 

Adam was ready to move around the guy and get the hell out of here, until he heard the stranger’s question. “What’s...what’s caviar?” He asked, confusion lacing his voice; Adam wasn’t sure he’d ever heard that word before, honestly. “Whatever it is, I doubt we have it here.” It wasn’t like there was another store in town he could suggest, so the guy would just have to suffer or drive up to Indianapolis or something. “But the ramen’s pretty good, not too hard to make or anything.” It was kind of the only thing Adam could successfully make without under or overcooking it. “I can show you were to find it, if you want?” 

loverboymontgomery​:

Cole hated seeing Adam this upset. Before, it was rare for Adam to be upset about anything. He can’t recall a time when Adam was angry, and he can’t recall a time when Adam was this sad. The Mindflayer had broken part of him, and while Cole was confident that he could and would heal, he was still angry. He kept caressing Adam’s cheek, though his hands were shaking. Why Adam? Of course, it wasn’t just Adam, but… why not Cole? He would rather it be him coming back, dealing with all of this, than Adam– Adam who was always the first to crack a joke or include an outsider or show kindness to the most unlikely people.

Cole had never been like that, he’d never been like him: naturally kind, easily trusting. From birth, it seemed Cole had a chip on his shoulder– and that was okay with Adam. It was okay that they were different, it worked. And it still worked, it would always work. But Adam was never supposed to hurt like this. As Adam choked back a sob and slumped against Cole, Cole wrapped his arms around him and buried fingers in Adam’s hair. 

I love you too. I always have.

Tears stung Cole’s eyes and relief flooded his body hearing Adam say it. He figured it was part of the Mindflayer’s possession, but the last fight still echoed in Cole’s mind. Leave me the fuck alone, Adam had yelled, and Cole was relieved to be able to dismiss his fears that Adam hated him once and for all. “I’m so glad to hear you say that,” he admitted, his breath hot against Adam’s neck. He hadn’t planned on telling Adam about the fight– there was too much else going on– but he couldn’t help the pent-up tears from years of heartbreak. 

Pulling away just far enough to lock eyes with Adam, Cole angled his chin upward and cupped Adam’s face. “We’ll never have to be apart again. I promise,” he paused, taking in the view of Adam’s face. He was really here. “We’ll go to San Francisco, like we always planned,” Cole’s face broke out into a nostalgic smile.

It was a small thing, but Cole was glad Adam hadn’t let go of his hand to go to the door. Cole needed the physical reassurance that this was real, and he fully intended to hang on to Adam’s arm for the next year, at least. “Wait!” he called, grabbing the VHS from its discarded position on the floor. Cole ducked his head inside, still holding Adam’s hand behind him, and placed the tape on the entryway table. “Could you give this to Cindy? Tell her I’ll come by and watch it with her tomorrow, if she wants,” Cole flashed Mrs. Richards a smile, more genuine than any he’d produced in the past six months. “I’ll watch out for Adam,” he stated, hoping to ease her nerves.

Shutting the door behind them, Cole turned to Adam once again. “I don’t really have a car right now, so.. you up for a walk?” He looked at the porch swing with Adam’s hat and sunglasses. “Want your disguise?” he teased, bumping Adam’s hip with his own. For a second, things felt simple like they used to be. Cole breathed in the feeling, giving Adam’s hand a reassuring squeeze.

Anger and sadness were, thankfully, not emotions Adam was super familiar with. Before coming back, Adam had been a sweet, simple boy. He wasn’t quick to anger, or easily disgruntled in any way; he was a bit of a people pleaser, happy as long as everyone around him was also happy. But now, things were different. It was as if someone had taken off his rose-tinted glasses. He was sad and scared and more broken than he’d ever felt before because he just didn’t understand how he’d been selfish enough to hurt everyone around him by running away.

Unless, like Cole said, he hadn’t. 

But he wasn’t sure that would make him feel any better. It would take the blame off of him, sure; he’d feel less guilt. But then he would have to rationalize the fact that he’d died. For some reason, he had been killed and he’d come back and that just didn’t seem fair. 

Adam didn’t want to think about any of that right now, though. He just wanted to be with Cole. If Cole was right, they might not have all the time in the world - because who knew if he’d just die again or something? What if he was a ghost with some sort of unfinished business to take care of? Adam wanted to put that off for as long as possible so that he could just enjoy being back with Cole and his family. So, he brushed his tears away and kissed Cole’s cheek at his promise. “As long as I can help it, I won’t leave you again,” Adam promised in return. Because he couldn’t guarantee that he’d be by Cole’s side forever, but if Adam had any say in it, he sure would be. 

After Cole promised Mrs. Richards that he’d watch out for Adam ( something that was laughable, considering Adam was nearly half a foot taller than Cole ), she seemed to relax a bit. She didn’t know what was going on between them, but she knew Cole would never let her son get hurt again. Adam waved goodbye to her, popping back outside. 

“No, I’ll be okay.” Adam said as an afterthought, tucking the sunglasses into the pocket of his jean shorts. He took the baseball cap and placed it on Cole’s head instead. As with all of Adam’s things, it looked better on him anyway. With that, Adam headed to Cole’s house, ready to spend as much time with his boyfriend as he could. 

THE END.

WHO: Adam Richards & Anyone !

WHAT: Visiting your hometown grocery store as an adult and Hating It

WHERE: Melvald’s 

Once upon a time, going out in public was fine for Adam. A trip to the grocery store probably meant catching up with the his parents’ friends if he ran into them, and going to the diner included getting one or two girls’ phone numbers ( that he never called ). He was used to the attention - it was always positive. 

Sure, the pressure of being Mr. Perfect got to Adam at times, but it was manageable back then. He knew it wouldn’t be something he’d have to deal with forever, because one day, he and Cole would leave for San Francisco and all of this would be left in the rearview mirror. 

That was before he’d died decided to live in a commune for three years. Now, every trip out meant plenty of questions about where he had been, why he had left, what sort of things had happened there. And Adam was sick of it. But that didn’t mean it could go away entirely. 

Pushing a shopping cart through the aisle of Melvald’s, Adam kept his head low, avoiding eye contact. The sooner he could pick stuff up for his mother and get home, the better. But no matter how much he tried to keep a low profile, it didn’t seem to work. Rounding a corner quickly to avoid his sophomore Algebra teacher, Adam accidentally bumped someone with the cart. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” He apologized, hoping he hadn’t hurt the person too badly. 

colemontgomeryx​:

Cole’s heart leapt into his throat at Adam’s pleading tone. He wished he hadn’t said anything, and just let Adam go on believing that he’d gone away to a commune. But Cole had never been able to lie to Adam, nor did he ever want to. He knew that, although it was entirely too much to understand, Adam would want to know. Maybe he even needed to know, so he could stop punishing himself for ‘leaving Cole.’ But only when he was ready, only on his own terms– Cole felt a pit in his stomach as he remembered Max’s description of the Mindflayer and how it possessed its victims. Something akin to rage flared up in Cole’s body thinking about it hurting Adam, but he buried the feeling for now. That was something to ask Max about later.

Meeting Adam’s eyes, Cole shook his head. “Please stop apologizing,” he said, brushing a stray tear off of Adam’s cheek. It made his chest physically ache to hear the pain in his voice.  “I don’t blame you. I know it wasn’t your fault.” Cole’s eyes welled up again as he offered Adam a smile. “I’m just so glad you’re here, that you’re okay. I love you. I always will.”

Cole paused again, barely resisting the urge to kiss away his questions. “I might have some answers… about what happened. We can talk about it, whenever you’re ready,” he promised, taking Adam’s hands and squeezing them for comfort. Distantly aware that they were still on the Richards’ front porch, but unwilling to leave Adam, Cole tugged on his hand. “Want to come over to my place?” he asked, knowing that his house afforded them more privacy, as it was only him and his mom. 

Adam wasn’t ready to process something like that. How could anyone ever be? Being faced with your own mortality - knowing that you’d died - it wasn’t easy. It wasn’t possible. Adam couldn’t believe it because it just couldn’t be real. Dying and coming back three years later wasn’t something that could just happen. 

He knew it had been summer, the last time he really remembered anything. Adam had been working at the pool with Billy Hargrove and Heather Holloway. He remembered talking to Billy after work one night, something he wouldn’t usually do, and then... then mostly nothing, until he woke up in the woods a few days ago. A brief flash of a fight with someone, maybe. Adam didn’t remember. 

It was the not remembering that scared him the most, besides the thought that he could have died. How did someone forget three years of their life? 

Before he could spiral too far, Cole was grounding him back to reality. Whatever had happened had happened years ago. Right now, in this moment, he was safe because he was here with Cole. And Cole wanted him to stop apologizing for leaving him. Adam leaned into his touch, choking back a sob when Cole forgave him. I know it wasn’t your fault. It didn’t fully relieve Adam of all of his guilt, but it did make him feel a bit better. “I wouldn’t have left you.” He agreed, slumping against Cole. “I don’t know what happened, but I didn’t mean for it to.” Adam pulled him close again, needing to know that this was real just as much as Cole. “I love you too. I always have.” 

They could talk about it when Adam was ready. But... what if he was never ready? He hoped to be at some point, but right now, he just wasn’t. He had never been the sharpest knife in the drawer - his teachers had never accused him of being smart. But this just wasn’t something Adam could rationalize. He couldn’t understand it. Maybe Cole knew people who could, and maybe they should talk to them. Just... maybe later. Adam squeezed Cole’s hand, nodding his head. “Let me tell Mom,” He replied, pulling Cole with him to the front door. 

“I’m heading over to Cole’s. I’ll be back,” Adam promised as he ducked his head back inside the house, ignoring the panicked look on his mother’s face at the mention of him going anywhere. She was so scared he’d run away to the woods again, Adam knew. He hated that he’d ever made her worry that much. 

colemontgomeryx​:

Suddenly, unexplainably, Cole had a future again. Since Adam died, he had been aimless and drifting; obviously, he’d moved on in the literal sense– he’d gone to college, gotten promoted, made new friends– but he had not goals or ambition. All of his plans were tied to Adam; he would take whatever job, move to whatever state necessary just to be with him. Losing that felt like losing part of himself. More than he was confused, Cole was elated and relieved. He felt muscles unclench that must’ve been taut for the last three years. Finally, he was whole again. The closest he’d gotten for the last three years was talking about Adam with Max. 

He had so many questions: how was Adam alive? Did he remember the Mindflayer? Why did he think he’d been in a commune? But Adam’s embrace was intoxicating, the feeling of his face in Cole’s hair was bliss– Cole didn’t want to ruin the moment with questions, because what if questioning it made Adam disappear? What if this wasn’t real?

Cole laughed, too; It was classic Adam to crack a joke at a time like this. Cole’s brows furrowed together at Adam’s apologies; he really seemed to believe the commune thing, and Cole hated seeing him so wrecked with guilt. “Adam, no… you didn’t run away. You were dead,” he said, his tone gentle. “And I don’t know how you’re back, but you are.”

Tears pricked up in Cole’s eyes again at the thought of Adam gone, but he pushed the thought aside for now. “And can we worry about the details later?” he asked, meeting Adam’s eyes and pushing hair out of his face like he always used to. Tenderly, Cole cupped Adam’s face and pressed their lips together. Somehow, every kiss with Adam felt like magic– sloppy drunk kisses and rushed kisses in hidden corners alike felt like coming home, and now was no different. Cole leaned into the kiss, holding onto Adam like he was afraid he’d disappear if he let go. He paused, resting his forehead against Adam’s, and breathed: “I missed you so fucking much.”

Adam couldn’t wrap his brain around Cole’s words. There was no way. No way he had... because how could he be here now? If that had happened, why didn’t his family say anything? How could they just not remember? 

They had left his room exactly the same, down to the dirty clothes littering the floor and the half-drunk can of New Coke on his bedside table. At first, when he’d come home and seen that, he’d felt odd about it. Like he was a ghost, returning to the place he’d felt most comfortable haunting. Maybe... maybe there had been some truth to that feeling. But that was just impossible. Right? How could someone be dead for three years, then just come back like nothing had happened? 

Adam stopped that train of thought in it’s tracks. “No, I... no.” He said more firmly, shaking his head again. His hands let go of Cole briefly, only for his balled up fists to scrub at his eyes. “I didn’t die, Cole. I didn’t...” Adam repeated, voice pleading with Cole. Because he didn’t die. He couldn’t. What did that mean if he did? And what did it mean if he didn’t? “I left. I was in a commune. I’m sorry.” Adam repeated, voice breaking on his apology. 

And then Cole was kissing him, and the distress he’d just felt melted away slightly. It wasn’t gone. It was just shoved away to the back of his mind, deep in a dark place where Adam could hold on to it until he felt ready to process something that huge. Adam’s arms returned to Cole, wrapping around him and pulling him close. For the first time ever, Adam didn’t really care that they were in a semi-public place. Mrs. Sanders be damned. He kissed Cole sweetly, making up for the three years they’d been apart as best as he could. Adam ached for that time back, but he would take what he could get now. As they pulled away, Adam leaned his forehead against Cole’s, sighing at how right it felt. “I’m sorry I wasn’t here.” 

colemontgomeryx​:

Cole’s arms went slack and the VHS tape clattered to the ground. His jaw dropped and he was sure he looked like a cheesy cartoon character. He couldn’t believe he was having another vision, like what happened at the graveyard last week. Only, this time, he knew he had come to the Richards’ house. If nothing else, the VHS was evidence of that. And, besides, if this was a vision– why would Adam be apologizing for leaving him? As if he had a choice?

If this was a vision, Cole knew it would quickly turn dark– he’d watch Adam die, again– so he should just turn around and leave. But Cole couldn’t resist just a few more moments together, one last kiss, even if it was fake. So he closed the distance between them and wrapped his arms around Adam’s torso. Burying his face in Adam’s chest, Cole’s tears pooling against the other’s t-shirt. He squeezed his teary eyes shut and waited for the dark eyes, the “I’m sorry,” the body bursting into flames…

Only, it didn’t. Cole’s death grip around Adam loosened and he peered up at the familiar face. Everything was the same: same lips, same nose, same eyes– though they looked sadder. What if this was real? He searched his lover’s eyes, looking for answers. If this was real, what did he mean he left? Cole had seen his body, had gone to the funeral, had grieved the death of the only person he could ever love for three years. What kind of sick joke could this be? Cole untangled his hand to swipe at his face and finally choked out: “Are you really real?” 

Adam braced himself, fully prepared for Cole to yell at him. He deserved it. Ever since they got serious, once Adam knew that Cole was it for him, they had planned on running away together. Hawkins was too small to contain a relationship like theirs - they deserved to go somewhere where no one knew them, where no one could judge them for being together. And Adam just left him. Regardless of how Adam came to be in that commune, whether it was his intention or not, he still left Cole behind. 

But the yelling never came. Instead, Cole threw himself into Adam’s arms and it felt like maybe some of those jagged pieces inside him fit again. For the first time since he’d left the woods with Jack, Adam felt like something in his life made sense. 

Adam clung to Cole, burying his own face in his curls. He’d changed shampoos at some point, but it didn’t matter. Underneath it, he still smelled like Cole. Tears were freely falling down his face now, but Adam couldn’t be bothered to wipe them away. He had no intention of letting go of Cole any time soon; not until Cole wanted him to. 

“Yeah, last time I checked,” Adam laughed wetly, crying still. “I’m so sorry.” He apologized again, holding Cole close to him. “I don’t... I don’t know what happened. They said I’ve been in some sort of commune or something?” Adam explained, shaking his head at the words. He didn’t really remember that - but what other explanation was there? “I didn’t mean to go, I don’t know why I did. None of it makes any sense. I promise I didn’t mean to leave you! I’m sorry.” 

colemontgomeryx​:

who: cole & @goldenboyrichards​

where: the Richards’ house

Since Adam died, Cole had made it a habit to check on his sisters at least once a week. He’d been quite close to them when Adam was alive, as he went over to the Richards house once or twice a week for English tutoring. Mrs. Richards, particularly, loved Cole for ensuring her son passed English, and always had some sort of baked good in the oven on tutoring days. He’d loved coming over to the Richards’, to get a glimpse of a functional family and a father who was fairly involved with his children. Besides, Cole had always wanted a big family, so he was never annoyed by the girls’ footsteps and giggling filling the hallways.

Now, though, the energy in the household was different. For the first few months after the fire, Cole almost dreaded going over– it broke his heart to see the family so devastated. But in the last year or so, it had gotten easier; they’d sort of mutually decided that remembering Adam together was better than suffering alone. It was a somber occasion, still, but bearable. 

Today, Cole had picked up Dirty Dancing at Family Video, because Cindy had been talking about it lately and he figured he’d give it a shot. He always had a soft spot for Cindy (and Patrick Swayze). Cole approached the familiar house on his skateboard and stopped short by the curb, glancing at a guy around his age sitting on the porch. Had they invited cousins into town he didn’t know about? Or maybe it was the neighbor?

Untucking the VHS from his arm, Cole walked up the steps and tried to get a closer look at the guy without seeming weird. He immediately recognized Adam’s old hat– the beat-up Notre Dame logo, with bleach spots from a botched wash, was unmistakable. “Hey, man,” Cole said, trying to get his attention. “I don’t know if you’re a guest or whatever, but you shouldn’t touch Adam’s stuff,” he said, trying to keep the resentment out of his voice. What kind of asshole just helped himself to a dead guy’s belongings? Cole wanted to snatch the hat off of the guy’s head, but he resisted.

Home had always been a safe place for Adam. It was a place full of laughter, of love, a place where he could mostly be himself. Even once Adam had realized he was gay, home hadn’t felt scary or unfamiliar. He hadn’t told his parents or sisters - although, he was pretty sure at least Beth knew - but he hadn’t felt weird about bringing Cole around, either. They were friends first, Cole was technically even Adam’s tutor, so it was never weird having him around. He’d fit into their family seamlessly, almost. Adam could even pretend that it would still be like that if his family fully knew the truth. 

Come home after.... whatever had happened to him over the last three years was the first time things felt off. Something had shifted within the Richards’ household once he had left, something he never could have anticipated. Adam knew that when he and Cole ran away, his family would be hurt. But then Adam hadn’t run away with Cole - he’d gone to live in the forest around Hawkins, apparently. And while he was gone, his family had fractured in small ways. Like the result of an earthquake, the foundation had cracked and changed, and the happy family of five was now a sad family of four. 

Now they were a family of five again, if Adam could just figure out how he fit into the new picture. But it felt like maybe he was too jagged now; his pieces didn’t fit anymore. 

Going out in public seemed too scary these days. Everyone knew his face, knew his name, knew the golden boy he’d been before. And they all wanted to know just what the hell would make someone like him, someone seemingly perfect, disappear for three years. And the worst thing was, Adam had no answers. He didn’t know. Because he just couldn’t wrap his brain around the idea that he would run away and leave Cole behind. 

He sat on his front porch, baseball cap pulled low and sunglasses on to hide his face from prying neighbors. If Mrs. Sanders asked one more fucking time how he was feeling, he might actually explode. As someone approached the front door, Adam was ready to bolt back inside, warm weather be damned, when he heard a voice he knew as well as his own.

“Cole?” He asked, looking up at him to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. But standing there in the flesh was Cole Montgomery. Adam’s heart fluttered at the sight of him standing there with his skateboard, exactly as Adam remembered him. 

Pulling the sunglasses off, Adam tossed them aside carelessly to show Cole that it was him. “Cole, I’m so sorry.” He apologized, slowly standing up and taking a cautious step towards him. Adam didn’t know how upset Cole might be with him; he’d just abandoned him for three years, after all. But... if he was mad at Adam, why was he visiting Adam’s house? “I swear, I don’t know what happened. I didn’t mean to just leave you. I’m so sorry.” 

"you think so?" he asked, eyes still glued to the letter in his hand. "i mean, i get they need to do a thorough performance audit and all. but holding out an all-out manhunt for a random soul? how would they work out the grading rubric? " then with furrowed brow and a shake of his head. "i suspect this might be an actual emergency."

it was then that he looked up at the other grymm, noticing the way the burning intensity behind his gaze. though coming from kestrel, that wasn't particularly unusual either. "so, i take it the great kestrel's not joining the flock this time, then?" he questioned, head cocked slightly to the side. "aren't you at least a little curious what's so 'abnormal' about this particular soul that they managed to evade one of us?"

where: the department of afterlife affairs, collections office when: shortly after the events of the prologue status: open [cap - 0/3.] anger is the most prominent emotion romeo feels as he parses the letter, once, twice, a third time, just to be fucking sure that its contents are laying out the insulting proposition he thinks they are. it's almost as if he is instantly transported to the moment of the failed reaping, to looking into that abnormal individual's eyes and feeling their soul slip neatly and promptly through his fingers. upon unwillingly revisiting that memory, he finds that the immediate stab of his first failure in the after is, unfortunately, no less sickening the second time around. for strategic reasons, he makes a concerted effort to calm the storm in his mind, to appear interested but unbothered. his eyes are too intense in their focus, even as the glide of them along the mass of departing ravens is slow, lazy. "well, well, well," he drawls. "hear that? it's the sound of hundreds of desperate little sycophants fluttering their way to the registration desk. part of me thinks this is some ploy to weed out the weak and overeager."

in all honesty, he would've probably missed her completely in the flock. there were simply too many of them crowding the great halls, to the point that he was almost certain that every single grymm on the d.o.a.a.'s roster had made a point to turn up. not that they could have been faulted for it, really. who could possibly refuse when the price on the bounty was a very special reward prepared by the magistrate themself?

angga himself had just received a regular assignment at the collection office when one of the great ravens had flown in with his parcel, and so he only needed to turn around and rejoined the line to sign himself up. by the time he was finished, the line had grown three times longer. and as amusing as the sight might be, he'd rather not stick around and risk getting caught in the crowd that was growing impatient. so he focused on pushing his way out of it, trying hard not to ruffle too many feathers when he heard the familiar voice that caused him to stop and turn.

he blinked, the gears in his head taking a beat to switch up and finally processed the figure standing in front of him. "osprey," he said, a mixture of a confusion and bafflement in his greetings. "well, i mean, we work in the same building, and the same department. and we walk past each other in this lobby quite often..." though to be fair to her, angga couldn't really remember the last time the other had stopped by just to say hi, much less to make small talks. added with the awkward gestures and equally imposing spread of her wings, well, angga didn't need to be a genius to figure out she was after something.

"wait, why are you asking for mine?" angga retorted. his brows deep in a furrow as he nodded at the folder under her arm, one that seemed identical one to the one clutched in his own hand. "you have your own file, so clearly the great raven hadn't gotten confused and lost your parcel either."

✧･ﾟ— where: ⌜the transitionary space between the d.o.a.a.'s main lobby and the great halls⌟ ✧･ﾟ— when: ⌜shortly after the great ravens have passed around the challenge letters to all grymm⌟ ✧･ﾟ— status: ⌜open⌟

Osprey stood with her back to the Great Halls, her body held taut like a bowstring with her arms crossed over her chest. The slender fingers of her right hand rhythmically tapping on the edges of a slightly crumpled manila folder clutched tightly in her grip. Her eyebrows were furrowed in irritation, lips pursed in a pout as her eyes darted to and fro. Her gaze momentarily pausing on one of the hundreds of people milling around the common area before darting to the next. Her large wings were tucked closely to her back but an occasional involuntary twitch shifted the giant mass of browns like waves, making her feathers stand on end before they settled again. She let out a deep sigh still searching the crowd before here eyes came to a complete stop. She squinted before recognition and a bright smile broke out on her face; the attempt at friendliness immediately clashing with the almost wolfish look in her eyes. Unfurling her wings slightly, Osprey forcefully created space between herself and the sea of people moving around the Great Halls. A handful of shades shot her dirty looks as they begrudgingly walked around her but she paid them no mind as she stalked forward. “Oh my gosh, hi!” She said with a high inflection on the final word. “Wow! It’s so funny running into you here!” The smile from before was pinched tightly as she continued to step closer. Her wings opening wider to create a small alcove in the crowd around herself and the other person. “Anyway, since you are here I figure you either signed up for the challenge or declined the invitation—and that’s wonderful! Great even. Way to go for making a decision!” She said, pumping a celebratory fist up in the air, the motion slightly stiff. “That’s so cool! But, anyway, I have a slightly weird request. Well, not weird—just, uh, since you got all that,” She waved her hand in the general direction of the D.O.A.A. reception desk, “dealt with, you probably don’t need the letter anymore, right?” Taking another step she tucked the folder still in her hands under one of her arms before grasping her hands together, the smile growing thin-lipped. “Sooooo, do you think I could maybe have it instead?”

lila  laughed  before  she  could  stop  herself  –  too  sharp,  too  sudden,  but  honest.  it  didn't  reach  her  eyes,  not  all  the  way,  but  it  cracked  something  open  in  her  chest  just  the  same.  she  hadn't  expected  tahj  to  joke,  not  after  everything.  she'd  braced  for  cold  shoulders  and  unfinished  sentences,  maybe  even  that  easy  charm  turned  against  her  like  a  blade.  instead,  he  met  her  somewhere  in  the  middle,  and  that  –  hurt  more  than  if  he'd  just  walked  away.  “four  drinks?”  she  repeated,  arching  a  brow  as  she  tilted  her  head,  feigning  consideration.  “that's  a  tall  order,  tahj.  especially  since  i  still  don't  know  what  you  drink.  you  could  be  setting  me  up  for  the  worst  tab  of  my  life.”  there  was  a  flicker  of  something  softer  in  her  expression,  something  tentative.  she  shifted  her  weight  from  one  foot  to  the  other,  thumb  hooking  into  the  waistband  of  her  jeans  –  nervous  habit,  always  had  been.  it  grounded  her  when  her  nerves  threatened  to  crackle  to  the  surface  like  live  wire.  and  being  here,  being  in  front  of  him,  brought  back  more  than  just  guilt.  it  brought  warmth.  familiarity.  memories  she  hadn't  had  the  guts  to  revisit  in  weeks.  “i  don't  expect  you  to  just…  let  it  go,”  she  said,  her  voice  quieter  now,  as  if  the  bass  had  somehow  receded  for  her  to  be  honest.  “i  know  i  bailed  on  something  important.  i  know  what  that  night  meant.  to  you.  to  both  of  us.”  her  fingers  toyed  with  the  edge  of  her  chain  as  she  spoke,  twisting  the  cool  metal  like  it  might  anchor  her  in  this  moment.  “and  i  hate  that  i  turned  it  into  something  it  wasn't  supposed  to  be.  i  hate  that  i  didn't  show  up  for  you.”  she  hesitated,  eyes  tracing  the  lines  of  his  face  –  still  so  familiar,  even  after  weeks  of  silence.  still  kind,  even  when  he  looked  like  he  wanted  to  be  mad.  “but  if  you  let  me,”  she  added  softly,  “i'd  like  to  start  making  it  up  to  you,”  a  beat.  “let  me  get  you  that  drink,  bleeding  heart  and  all,”  she  mused,  her  smile  crooked  again  –  but  this  time  gentler,  not  hiding  behind  it.  “first  round's  on  me.  you  can  decide  if  the  second's  worth  sticking  around  for.” 

Tahjun was almost always at the Prism if time allowed it, something about letting go to the music, to the hum of the crowd, the smell of alcohol, sweat, and perfume. It felt as if only a filled club like this could truly embracr all his senses and make him for a moment forget people and places and things. It silenced the mind, enough that he didn’t think about how to shake his own spirit. But his content smile soon faltered when the bodies around him parted and Lila appeared.

He considered Lila a friend, not just a friend by association - as most people were - but someone he'd actually make plans with, someone he wouldn't so quickly try to trick of his own amusement - unless it was so easy, then it would be a flaw to let the opportunity pass. Being ghosted was painful, and he would've hated it no matter the party, but being ghosted at the party, the one that was the last place he'd seen Lizzie. That was more than just bad taste, and no amount of liquids could wash it away.

He made a face as Lila spoke, trying to find it in his heart not to forgive her. He wanted to stay mad at her.

He crossed his arms. "You should've." Narrowing his eyes slightly, he found he'd rather speak with her than continue being mad, too much had happened. "One drink? Four at least to stop my bleeding heart!"

lila's  gaze  softened  as  ophelia  spoke  –  maybe  it  was  the  quiet  panic  in  her  voice,  or  maybe  it  was  just  the  familiarity  of  someone  else  unravelling  under  the  academic  pressure.  either  way,  something  in  her  chest  eased  a  little.  misery  didn't  just  love  company;  it  needed  it  sometimes.  she  nudged  a  stack  of  articles  aside,  creating  space  at  the  table  like  it  was  instinct.  “then  sit,”  she  said,  voice  low  but  laced  with  amusement.  “come  suffer  beside  me.”  her  fingers  curled  loosely  around  her  highlighter  as  she  studied  ophelia  a  beat  longer.  the  girl  looked  like  she  felt  –  tired,  wound  up,  running  on  caffeine  and  expectations.  it  was  weirdly  comforting.  “shark  finning,  though,”  she  added  after  a  moment.  “that's  heavy.  important,  but…  brutal.  no  wonder  your  brain  tapped  out.”  lila  reached  for  her  cold  coffee,  took  a  sip  like  it  might  spark  some  genius,  then  made  a  face.  disgusting.  “we  should,  probably  both  be  drinking  water  and  going  to  therapy  instead  of  this,  but,  you  know.  capitalism.”  she  passed  a  few  color-coded  pages  toward  ophelia,  her  own  notes  scrawled  in  sharp,  decisive  handwriting.  “here,  i  covered  the  regulatory  failures  from  2008  onward.  you  might  be  able  to  pull  something  from  it  for  your  angle,  too.  ecosystem  collapse  doesn't  like  to  stay  in  its  lane.”  then,  more  gently.  “you're  not  behind.  you're  human.  big  difference.” 

an academic weapon. that's what her teachers in high school always called her. she was bright, top of her class, always. so why was it so hard to put words to paper. she would be writing her thesis soon to graduate and yet she couldn't even get through a ten page research paper. ophelia wasn't at risk for failing or anything but she held herself to much higher standards than this. that's how the girl found herself sat in langley for going on five hours now... five hours of little to no progress. her eyes dart around the library hoping for a bit of a distraction that would ideally get her back in the right mindset to grind this paper out. chocolate hues fell on the familiar face not far from her own work set up, "lila, hey" she sighed in relief, "shit. i totally spaced on the climate policy paper. i've been trying to get anything into this document for my conservation class, sharking fining and its survival impact on immediate dependent ecosystems. " ophelia groaned at the realization that an entire paper slipped her mind. "i've had such bad brain fog recently so absolutely, swap notes, mutual rage, i'm down for it all at this point. i need to get my mind going back down the right path."

status : — closed for @opheliabinici

location : — the langley library

lila  wasn't  usually  one  for  silence.  not  the  kind  that  settled  between  bookcases,  humming  with  fluorescent  light  and  dust  motes.  but  langley  library  had  a  way  of  stilling  her  –  of  quieting  the  chaos  that  usually  lived  just  behind  her  ribs.  and  today,  she  needed  that  more  than  she  cared  to  admit.  she  sat  cross-legged  at  a  corner  table,  surrounded  by  the  organized  mess  of  open  books,  sticky  notes,  and  a  hulf-drunk  coffee  that  had  long  gone  cold.  her  laptop  was  open  but  ignored,  the  screen  dimmed  to  black.  instead,  she  was  thumbing  through  a  worn  copy  of  this  changes  everything,  underlining  with  more  pressure  than  necessary.  her  jaw  tightened  as  she  read  another  passage  that  pissed  her  off  –  in  a  good  way,  in  a  this  should  make  everyone  angry  way.  she  let  out  a  short  breath,  sat  back,  and  rubbed  at  her  temple.  “jesus,”  she  muttered  under  her  breath,  barely  loud  enough  for  anyone  to  hear.  except  someone  did.  lila  looked  up,  brows  lifting  as  her  eyes  caught  a  familiar  figure  a  few  tables  over.  ophelia.  her  hand  hovered  in  a  pause  before  waving.  “hey,”  she  said  quietly,  then  gestured  at  the  chaos  in  front  of  her.  “guess  we're  both  gluttons  for  punishment.”  a  small  smile  tugged  at  the  corner  of  her  mouth  –  rare,  but  genuine.  “i'm  digging  through  all  this  for  my  climate  policy  paper.  you  too,  or  are  you  just  here  for  the  vibes?”  she  let  her  pen  fall  against  the  table  with  a  soft  clatter,  then  tilted  her  head.  “i've  gotta  say…  it's  kind  nice.  knowing  someone  else  here  actually  gives  a  shit.”  her  voice  dropped  slightly,  more  vulnerable  than  usual.  “gets  a  little  lonely,  y'know?”  lila  shrugged  it  off  quickly,  already  shifting  back  into  something  lighter.  “anyway,  if  you  wanna  join  forces  –  compare  notes,  or  rage  about  fossil  fuel  subsidies  –  i'm  not  going  anywhere  for  a  while.” 

status : — closed for @dvrkhallways (thajun)

location : — prism

the  prism  was  loud  in  all  the  ways  lila  needed  it  to  be.  bass  heavy  enough  to  rattle  her  thoughts  loose,  lights  strobing  fast  enough  to  blur  the  edges  of  memory.  she  didn't  come  her  often  anymore  –  too  many  ghosts  lurking  between  the  barstools  and  booths  –  but  something  about  tonight  had  pulled  her  in.  she  wasn't  dressed  to  impress.  black  cropped  tank,  her  old  docs,  a  silver  chain  tangled  twice  around  her  throat.  just  enough  to  belong.  not  enough  to  be  looked  at.  she'd  perfected  that  balance  ages  ago.  her  palms  were  still  a  little  clammy  from  the  cold  outside,  fingers  wrapped  around  a  sweating  glass  she  hadn't  touched  in  ten  minutes.  she  hadn't  planned  on  seeing  anyone.  definitely  not  him.  “tahj?”  her  voice  rose  above  the  music  as  she  stepped  into  his  line  of  sight,  more  uncertain  than  she'd  like  to  admit.  she  didn't  expect  him  to  smile.  maybe  didn't  deserve  one.  they  hadn't  spoken  since  that  night.  the  one  where  she'd  texted  him  be  there  soon  and  then  never  showed.  no  warning,  no  explanation.  just  silence.  “i  wasn't  stalking  you,  if  that's  what  you're  thinking,”  she  said,  offering  a  crooked  half-smile.  “i  just…  ended  up  here.”   a  beat  passed.  “i  should've  texted.  after.  i  just  didn't  know  what  to  say  that  wouldn't  make  things  worse.”  she  took  a  shallow  breath,  tugging  her  sleeve  down  over  the  heel  of  her  hand.  “i  know  i  ghosted.  i  know  i  probably  messed  that  night  up  for  you.  but  i  didn't  plan  on  blowing  you  off.  something  came  up.  and  i  should've  said  that.  you  didn't  deserve  the  radio  silence.”  her  eyes  lifted  to  meet  his,  open  and  steady.  “you  were  my  friend.  still  are,  if  you  want  to  be.  that's  why  i'm  saying  this  now.”  she  glanced  towards  the  bar,  then  back  at  him.  “you  want  a  drink?  my  treat.  consider  it  a  very,  very  late  apology.” 

status : — closed for @goodgrac3s (blue)

location : — second hand threads

the  scent  of  old  fabric  and  citrus-scented  disinfectant  clung  to  the  air,  as  familiar  to  liila  now  as  her  own  shampoo.  she  was  elbow-deep  in  a  box  of  donations,  pulling  out  a  faded  bon  jovi  tour  tee  that  had  definitely  seen  better  decades,  when  the  silence  of  the  store  struck  her  harder  than  usual.  no  laughter  from  the  dressing  rooms.  no  half-assed  lizzie  commentary  from  the  fitting  room  bench.  just  the  buzz  of  the  ceiling  fan  and  the  low  murmur  of  some  indie  playlist  she'd  queued  up  an  hour  ago.  lila  swallowed  hard.  the  shirt  in  her  hands  crumpled  in  her  fingers.  she  didn't  allow  herself  to  cry  at  work.  that  was  for  the  confines  of  her  dorm  room,  exclusively.  she  straightened  up,  her  jaw  clenched,  and  shoved  the  shirt  onto  a  hanger.  when  she  heard  footsteps,  soft-soled  and  familiar  lila  didn't  even  look  up  before  she  spoke.  “you'd  think  murder  would  come  with  more  closure,  huh?”  her  voice  came  out  flatter  than  she'd  intended.  not  bitter.  not  angry.  just…  hollow.  like  she'd  run  out  of  steam  three  grief  spirals  ago.  she  finally  glanced  over  at  blue,  brushing  a  strand  of  hair  from  her  cheek  as  she  nodded  toward  the  donation  pile.  “someone  donated  a  live,  laugh,  love  wall  decal.  if  that's  not  a  goddamn  sign,  i  don't  know  what  is.”

status : — closed for @delicateghvsts (brody)

location : — the brew house

lila  stared  down  at  the  three  bins  like  they  were  suspects  in  a  lineup.  blue.  green.  black.  each  one  carefully  labelled,  color-coded,  and  adorned  with  laminated  pictures  she'd  spent  an  embarrassing  amount  of  time  designing  in  canva.  she  even  taped  an  actual  banana  peel  to  the  green  one  for  visual  reinforcement.  if  brody  didn't  get  it  this  time,  she  was  going  to  lose  her  mind  –  or  worse,  her  will  to  recycle.  “okay,  brody,”  she  said,  tapping  the  green  bin  with  her  shoe.  “let's  say,  hypothetically,  you've  finished  your  smoothie  and  you're  holding  a  cup  with  the  little  leafy  symbol  on  it.  where  does  it  go?”  she  waits  for  a  beat,  before  continuing.  “green,”  she  answered  for  him,  before  he  could  point  to  the  black  and  break  her  spirit.  “green,  brody.  because  it  breaks  down.  compostable.  like  food.  plants.  things  that  come  from  the  earth  and  don't  have  barcodes.”  she  gestured  to  the  bins  again  with  the  flair  of  a  game  show  hostess  running  out  of  patience.  “blue  is  for  paper.  clean  paper.  not  paper  with  cheese  melted  into   it.  and  black  is  for  all  the  sad,  unrecyclable  garbage  we  pretend  doesn't  exist.”  her  eyes  narrowed  as  she  unwrapped  a  muffin  and  immediately  crumpled  the  wrapper  in  her  palm.  “don't  you  dare  say  green,”  she  warned,  voice  low  and  dangerous.  “if  you  say  green,  i  swear  i  will  dump  this  entire  bin  on  your  bed.”