WHO: Adam Richards & @loverboymontgomery​

conrad fisher | tsitp 1.06

PARKS AND RECREATION — 4.05 “Meet n Greet”

loverboymontgomery​:

Of course Cole wasn’t okay. How could he be? His broken rib was nothing compared to the way his heart was splintering and cracking with every tear Adam shed. Losing him had been the worst pain Cole had ever felt, but sitting next to him and watching him break was a close second. The confusion and fear in Adam’s eyes, while expected and completely understandable, made Cole want to take it all back– say it was just a joke– beg for forgiveness. 

But now, Cole couldn’t avoid it. He couldn’t avoid the truth, and Adam wasn’t going to let him avoid his feelings. Since Adam came back, Cole felt like he was walking around with a bomb strapped to his chest– like it was only a matter of time before he’d be destroyed again. As if he hadn’t cried enough, Cole’s eyes welled up in response to Adam’s urgent tone, the way he was peering into his soul.

“No,” he choked out, wrapping Adam’s hand into both of his. “I thought I was going to lose you again.” Cole’s voice was barely above a whisper, and his hot tears fell onto their hands. Saying it out loud took Cole back to that place– the moment at the carnival when Adam started acting different. The terror in his chest at the thought of attending another funeral for the love of his life. Cole didn’t realize he was having trouble breathing until he felt Adam’s hands on his shoulders, willing Cole’s chest to stop constricting. “I’ve never been more afraid of anything in my life. I can’t do this– life– without you… that’s the truth,” he lifted his gaze to Adam’s face and squeezed Adam’s hand tight, as if a tight enough grip would save him.

They shared a contemplative silence, and Adam finally moved closer to Cole. Relieved, he shifted his legs over to give Adam space to occupy, a way to feel his closeness. Cole’s chest felt heavy in an entirely different way than his head; he knew loving someone this completely was the greatest risk he could take. He always knew it would hurt somehow, but never anticipated this– the way his entire life lost meaning when Adam died. The way he didn’t feel like himself, much less like a person, without Adam Richards to look at him with a knowing smile or wrap him up in a hug or laugh at jokes that went over his head. 

As Adam wiped away Cole’s tears, Cole leaned his head against the other’s hand, held him there for a second. He knew with more certainty than he knew anything else that if, when he met Adam Richards for the first time, he could see the future– all the love and all the pain– he would choose him again. 

When Adam started crying, processing the information Cole had dumped on him, Cole instinctively pulled him closer and rubbed circles in his back. He hated that there was nothing he could say to make this better; he hated feeling powerless to help. At Adam’s question, Cole met his eyes and nodded once, confirming Adam’s fears. Cole carded his fingers through Adam’s hair as the other cried into his shoulder. “You won’t. I won’t let anything bad happen,” Cole whispered into his boyfriend’s hair. 

Cole’s stomach dropped; the one thing he wanted to keep from Adam, the moment he wanted to take to the grave, had somehow resurfaced in his memory. For a beat, he considered denying it, but he’d never been able to lie to Adam. Adam always knew. Cole’s hold on Adam tensed and he pressed his lips to Adam’s temple a few times. “I know, baby,” he murmured, “That was before. Right before you died… I know it wasn’t you.” Cole’s eyes welled up at what Adam was saying. “You stopped it from hurting me. You stopped it.”

Gently, Cole cupped Adam’s face and angled him up, so Cole could see him. He couldn’t stop the smile pushing up his lips when Adam called him Walden. In Adam’s eyes, all of Cole’s fear melted into tenderness and he felt his body relax. It was going to be okay. They would get through it together. “I know you do. And I love you more than anything, Adam Richards. I’ll love you forever.” 

Adam had spent his entire life trying to be good and kind and helpful. He tried to be the perfect son, the perfect boyfriend, the perfect Catholic, the perfect teammates - just perfect. He had made starting quarterback as a sophomore, and that came with expectations and pressure from the town, from his coaches, from his teammates, from everyone. Adam had always done his best to live up to the image that had been created of him after his picture had been in the paper after the first football game he’d helped the Tigers win years ago. 

But somewhere along the way, he must have done something wrong, something worth damning him to being a weapon for someone else. Adam wasn’t allowed to feel sorry for himself, though, not when he was the one doing the hurting. Those who were guilty didn’t deserve pity - the lives they had destroyed did. Five people were dead and countless were hurt, and the forest commune were the cause even if they hadn’t meant to be. Adam shouldered the guilt of what they had done, adding it to all the weight he carried there already. He was a modern day Atlas, it was so deep in his DNA that Adam was afraid he couldn’t stop if he tried. 

But hearing Cole admit he wasn’t okay? That was the hardest thing he had ever listened to. If Adam hadn’t already been crying, that would have made him start. He had always cried when Cole cried, devastated by seeing the scars Cole still bared from losing Adam three years ago. “Baby, I’m so sorry,” He told him. The moment Cole’s breathing starting getting uneven, Adam immediately squeezed his hand to try to reassure him. He felt powerless watching Cole right now; seeing how deeply affected he was by the thought of Adam dying again. “I know,” Adam cried, wiping his tears with the back of his free hand. His heart broke for Cole, because Adam couldn’t promise that he would be okay. He couldn’t swear to still be here with the dust settled. Because if he had learned anything from the last few hours, it was that he had no control over his own life anymore. 

As Adam shifted closer to Cole, he sat in stiff silence. His death had shaped Cole so much more than Adam even realized before now. Of course he knew Cole had missed him - obviously, he did. But the fact that Cole couldn’t live without him? It felt like someone had taken Adam’s heart in their hands, wrapping it tightly in their fists and squeezed it until it stopped beating all together. Cole had to be okay without him; not because Adam planned on dying or leaving any time soon, but because it would kill Adam to know that if something did happen to him, Cole wouldn’t be able to keep going. Adam needed him to, because if anyone deserved a happy, loving life, it was Cole Montgomery. Adam wanted him to find a job he loved, buy a house somewhere pretty and warm, just like they had always talked about. He wanted him to find someone who could make Cole just as happy as Adam did. If Adam couldn’t grow old with Cole, he wanted someone else who would treat him perfectly to get that experience, because Cole deserved a happy ending.

 And as much as Adam wanted it to be him beside Cole, holding Cole’s hand on a porch while they talked to their grandkids, he couldn’t promise him that. Not right now. 

As Cole leaned into Adam’s touch, the grip on Adam’s heart gave one final squeeze. No one in the world deserved the love Cole Montgomery gave to him, that he’d given him since they were in high school. Tears fell from Adam’s eyes as he thought about how much good Cole had done for Adam over the years. If they had never met, Adam didn’t know who he would have even become. Every part of his life had been shaped by Cole Montgomery, and he knew Cole felt the same. 

He cried harder at the love he felt from Cole rubbing his back, thinking about how much he didn’t want to lose this. If he had to, he didn’t want Cole to be alone and broken without him, but... at the end of the day, Adam was still so young. There were so many things he’d never gotten to do. Dying at nineteen meant that he’d lost so much, and maybe coming back now was a blessing. Adam just wished it didn’t come with the condition that he might black out at any time and become a monster hellbent on hurting others. “You can’t control this,” Adam said tearfully, shaking his head at Cole insisting he wouldn’t let anything happen to Adam. 

Adam cried as Cole confirmed that it had happened, that Adam had been horrible to Cole right before he died. He had nearly killed him - he might have, if he hadn’t momentarily been able to stop himself. He pulled Cole closer, tucking his face into the space between Cole’s neck and shoulder. “But what if I can’t again? What if I’m not strong enough? Cole, I don’t want this,” Adam gasped, shoulders shaking from the sobs racking his body. “I don’t want to do this, be this. I don’t want to hurt anyone, especially you.”

Adam couldn’t control this any more than Cole could. Neither of them could guarantee that this wouldn’t end in tears, with one or both of them dead. But for a moment, Adam let himself believe that maybe they could face anything as long as they were together. Maybe they could figure this out, stop whatever was controlling Adam. Maybe it would be alright in the end. “I’ll love you forever too, Cole Montgomery,” Adam whispered, kissing Cole’s cheek feather light, so gently he couldn’t possibly hurt any bruising there. 

the theme that always resonates me the most in stories is “the world is cruel; therefore I won’t be.”

jackforeman​:

WHO: jack foreman & @goldenboyrichards​ </33 WHERE: the richards’ residence

All that Jack could think about on his drive over to Adam’s house was that he had killed him. Probably with his bare hands, too, or whatever that black thing was that he saw in his head. He didn’t know what to think, or how to feel except betrayal and confusion. This was his best friend, someone he’d gone through hell and back with, and it was Adam’s fault that he had missed three years of his life. Three years of not being with his sisters, of being beside them while they mourned him, no matter where they thought he went. He gripped the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were as white as the hood of his car, his breathing heavy but shaky as he made his way the few blocks to Adam’s house.

He’d waited to do this until Cole was out of the hospital, now knowing what he knew about the two. The past few days had been spent locked in his room with the occasional visit from Jo or Julie until he’d gotten the call from Adam’s sister that he was back at home. There were more important things than demanding answers about something that had happened years ago, especially when it concerned someone who Adam loved.

Jack’s heart was in his throat as he got out of the car, needing a moment to catch his breath before he rang the doorbell to see Adam’s face. It was a sight he hadn’t seen in the flesh since being in the Tunnel of Love despite replaying in his mind, plaguing his dreams since then. The look of determination before Adam had taken him into the warehouse was etched into his memory now, forever. As Adam opened the door, Jack took a step back, forcing a pained smile as he greeted him. “Hey, I heard you were home. Could I, uh … do you have a second? Can I come in?”

Some people were scared of spiders, some were scared of heights. Adam Richards was scared of letting down the people he loved the most. He always had been. Being a people pleaser was in his DNA, constructed out of the burden of being the only son and eldest child in the family. A duty to protect others, keep them safe, had long since been ingrained in him. Hurting someone? Hurting someone went against everything that Adam stood for. In his core, his very being, Adam was destroyed by the thought of hurting another person. It was unthinkable.

Killing Jack? He couldn’t fathom it.

After Jo had gone home a few days ago, Adam had barely left his room. He had known that the blackouts were bad, that they were something he should be scared of. His body wasn’t his when they happened - because Adam would never, ever hurt someone he cared about. But did that really matter? Because Adam had done it. It didn’t matter that it hadn’t been his decision; he had still killed his best friend. His body was more than capable of murder, even if it wasn’t Adam calling the shots. 

When his mom told him that Jack was here to see him, Adam felt nauseous, like he truly might throw up. How could Adam even look at Jack right now? But... how could he not? Jack had every fucking right to hate him - Adam hated himself for what he’d done while blacked out. And if Jack wanted to confront him, then Adam couldn’t and wouldn’t stop it. He shakily walked to the door, opening it and peering at Jack sadly. 

“Yeah, man. Of course,” Adam said, opening it wider and leading the way towards his bedroom. He didn’t want his parents to overhear what he had done. “Jack, I - I’m so sorry. I don’t remember... doing that. And you can say or do whatever you want to me,” He told him after he closed the door behind Jack, nervously stuffing his hands into the pocket of one of the few hoodies Cole and Beth hadn’t stolen from him. “I get it. I’m not really safe to be around right now.” 

mmuscles​:

at first, thad was satisfied. he had so clearly gotten under adam’s skin with the first comment, and that was his goal. he continued looking smug, coolly propped against the vending machine. nothing adam could say or do would bother him. he had the high ground so to speak, and he was basking in it. 

in truth, it wasn’t like adam had ever done anything to him other than beat him in a game of beer pong and be overall annoying, but at his core, thad knew about adam and cole, which was enough to put a target on their backs. it was a true moment of weakness when thad kissed cole, the guy had pissed him off so bad, he didn’t know what to do other than that. it was frustrating, it was scary. even though cole had no intentions of sharing what had happened with the class, it was abundantly apparent adam knew, and that had to be why they had this weird rivalry. at least, that was what made sense in thad’s head. to him, all of the pointed comments and agitating behavior on his own end were warranted, adam knew something, something that nobody else could ever know. and if thad fucked with him enough? maybe he’d keep it to himself, too. but beyond that, beneath layers and layers thad had yet to pull back he was jealous. not necessarily because adam was with cole, or cole was with adam, but because they were together, so disgustingly in love, and it didn’t feel fair that something he struggled with so deeply came so apparently natural to others, to them. 

right when thad became comfortable with the notion he might be sitting pretty for the rest of this conversation, adam snapped. with fear, his eyes widened and he immediately stood up off the vending machine, hands helplessly flailing into the air, “shut up, man!” it was thad’s turn to say. between bringing up the kiss and telling him to get lost, thad had it. he panicked, but this time he wasn’t going to kiss some guy in the middle of a hospital hallway. instead, he lunged for adam, “don’t say shit like that!” he tried to sound tough, intimidating, but if anything it came out as a plea as he tried to slap his hand over adam’s mouth while he hurled one last insult, “if you could pull your head out of your ass dude, you’d realize you’re the one acting jealous and crazy right now! maybe if you didn’t have this…this…freak side to you, that would’ve never happened with your boyfriend and i!” 

Adam wasn’t used to hating people. In his life, the list of people he’d truly disliked had only really included Tommy Hagan and Carol Perkins, and that felt well-deserved considering the cruelty they’d leveled at the kids at their school deemed unpopular. He preferred neutrality to distaste, but there were just some people he couldn’t feel neutral about. And Thad Bradshaw was one of them.

This animosity between them had been growing since their very first interaction in Hawkins. It had been building, the tension between them growing stronger and stronger each time Thad called Cole ‘Pretty Boy,’ or each time Adam had felt the need to beat him at something. They were just such opposites at their core; two people who likely could never have gotten along, even if Thad hadn’t kissed Cole weeks ago. They were too different to ever see eye to eye - and not just because Thad was a good seven inches shorter than him. 

He gritted his teeth when Thad went on the defensive, Adam’s comment about him kissing Cole evidently being a sensitive subject. In another situation, Adam would have apologized. Even if he had never really felt the effects of internalized homophobia before, he knew it was a sensitive subject, especially for guys like Thad who always felt like that had something to prove. But Adam wouldn’t apologize. No, he opened his mouth to continue when suddenly, Thad was smacking at it. Adam’s eyes widened, his hands tensing as Thad lunged at him. “What the fuck, Thad?” He snapped, slapping Thad’s hand away. 

Although his blood was boiling over the entire interaction, he was still ready to walk away. He was better than this; Adam didn’t fight people unless they threatened someone he cared about. But then Thad landed the final blow and Adam felt all of his composure snap. 

If you didn’t have this…this…freak side to you, that would’ve never happened with your boyfriend and I!

He felt like he could throw up. White hot rage coursed through his body, his hands coming up before he could stop them. But the thing was...Adam didn’t want to stop himself. He didn’t want to walk away. Thad had crossed a line, and all of their interactions had been leading to this anyway, right? Implying that it was Adam’s fault that Cole and Thad had kissed - that Adam had had any control over any of this shit that he’d been going through - made him see red. 

And so he shoved Thad as hard as he could into the vending machine, not even flinching when he heard the other’s body hit it. 

Adam wasn’t an angry person; he didn’t like violence. But Thad had it coming, and Adam could make his peace with that. 

zccming​:

adam richards. it was a name she’d been hearing for years from cole. max was no therapist, but when it came to grief, her and cole had gotten pretty good at sitting down, dumping all of their feelings together, then doing absolutely nothing about them. cole, adam, robin, all of them were older than her, but with adam specifically, max hadn’t known of him while he was in school and other than a few pictures and glances from a distance this past summer, didn’t really even know what adam looked like. that was until she clocked him curled up in cole’s hospital bed. this was adam, without a doubt in her mind. 

she had been weaving in and out of rooms for so long she felt like her legs might collapse from underneath her and she just needed to sit. not wanting to overstay her welcome in any of the other rooms, she chose cole’s to rest for a minute. she hadn’t been expecting him – or adam to wake up. she jumped a bit when adam did, watching him like a frightened animal. it wasn’t his fault, more the impact of all the unexpected events that had transpired in the past twelve hours. for a while, she said nothing, and neither did he. when adam finally spoke, max noted how kind his voice sounded. in a way, that quality reminded her of lucas. she shrugged off the question, “it’s cool.” don’t apologize. when adam grasped at answers, max sighed. there was no hiding the truth from him, he already knew at least to some extent. “i’ve only seen something like this once before.” she admitted, rubbing her tired eyes. so much for rest. “but the thing that did it is gone.” with surprising conviction, max assured him, “but from what i can gather, that wasn’t you acting at the carnival. we just…need to find the weakspot of this new guy and take him down.” 

she made it sound so easy, even though she knew well how difficult the journey ahead could get.

Adam hadn’t known Max before. She’d been a kid then, someone he had maybe seen at the pool a few times or heard about from Billy. Coming back and finding out she’d became Cole’s best friend had been unexpected, but he knew from how often Cole spoke about her that she meant a lot to him. Adam was grateful for her supporting him during his grief these last few years. 

He moved closer to Cole’s bed, unwilling to be far from him after everything that he’d been through since the carnival. He kept space between him and Max, not wanting to freak Max out, in case she had seen what he’d done while he was blacked out. Sitting down in the chair closest to Cole, Adam reached subconsciously for his hand, lacing their fingers together while Cole continued to sleep. “If it’s gone... how are we still doing this?” Adam asked her, frowning at the information. There was just so much he didn’t know, so much he couldn’t even begin to process. And it fucking sucked. “Have you done that before?” Adam asked curiously, worried that they wouldn’t figure this all out. He knew he certainly didn’t know enough to solve shit. 

“Apparently, I did stuff like that before,” He admitted, despite not knowing Max at all. He trusted her with this, though, considering how much she already knew. “And...well, if it happens again,” Adam felt guilty asking this. She could say no - he wouldn’t blame her. She didn’t owe him anything. “If it happens again, can you just... make sure Cole isn’t near me? I can’t hurt him.” Not again. Adam wouldn’t be able to forgive himself if he did. 

WHO: Adam Richards & Anyone !

WHAT: Visiting your hometown grocery store as an adult and Hating It

WHERE: Melvald’s 

Once upon a time, going out in public was fine for Adam. A trip to the grocery store probably meant catching up with the his parents’ friends if he ran into them, and going to the diner included getting one or two girls’ phone numbers ( that he never called ). He was used to the attention - it was always positive. 

Sure, the pressure of being Mr. Perfect got to Adam at times, but it was manageable back then. He knew it wouldn’t be something he’d have to deal with forever, because one day, he and Cole would leave for San Francisco and all of this would be left in the rearview mirror. 

That was before he’d died decided to live in a commune for three years. Now, every trip out meant plenty of questions about where he had been, why he had left, what sort of things had happened there. And Adam was sick of it. But that didn’t mean it could go away entirely. 

Pushing a shopping cart through the aisle of Melvald’s, Adam kept his head low, avoiding eye contact. The sooner he could pick stuff up for his mother and get home, the better. But no matter how much he tried to keep a low profile, it didn’t seem to work. Rounding a corner quickly to avoid his sophomore Algebra teacher, Adam accidentally bumped someone with the cart. “Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” He apologized, hoping he hadn’t hurt the person too badly. 

jackforeman​:

WHO: jack foreman & @goldenboyrichards WHERE: walking out of the hawkins forest lol

This wasn’t the first time that Jack and Adam had been together and not known where they were in the morning, but this time, it was different. This time, they were walking out of the fucking forest, and he had no clue where they were. It wasn’t easy to get lost in Hawkins, but something felt different, like he’d hit his head or suffered the worst hangover of his life. What the hell had they been doing, throwing a party in the woods? It wasn’t something that the two did often, not when they had each other’s houses to do that.

“Dude, what the fuck?” he asked as they stepped onto the road. His clothes looked like they’d been raked through the mud about ten times, and his legs felt like they hadn’t walked in years. He was sore, and it was like he’d just been beaten up. “Where the fuck are we?”

Jack turned toward Adam, who looked about the same that he did, and shook his head. Something had to be off. “I don’t have my car here, man, I don’t even know where it would be Did someone drop us off? Maybe we should head to Melvald’s and ask to use the phone or something. I don’t want to go to the police and get drug tested or something. I don’t know, you got any better ideas?”

Adam didn’t usually get this drunk. In fact, he couldn’t actually remember a time when he had blacked out completely like this, to the point where he didn’t even remember the last thing that he remembered. Every part of his body was sore, but maybe that was from sleeping in the forest? Or maybe he and Jack had truly done something stupid, like got dragged into a fight with other guys or something?

He had no clue, but at least he wasn’t alone. That might have been even more disorienting. His clothes were a mess, and he was pretty sure there were multiple leaves stuck in his hair, but at least he was mostly okay. “I have no clue, dude,” Adam shook his head at Jack’s question. “I don’t remember anything. Do you?” 

At the mention of a car, Adam’s face fell. Shit. If only one of them had driven here, but given the fact that neither of the cars were anywhere to be seen, it was unlikely. Walking all the way back would suck, but maybe it would give them time to remember something. “I guess? Must have, because I don’t think we would have walked all the way out here for a party.” Maybe Cole had, or one of the other guys from football. But then, why had they left them? Why not wait for them to wake up? “Who should we call?” He asked Jack, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t remember doing drugs, dude. Do you think we were drugged?” That worried him a lot, but it made more sense than straight laced, wholesome Adam Richards taking something stronger than weed. 

loverboymontgomery​:

Cole was certainly freaked out by what had happened at the lake. One minute, it felt like high school again– like they were just hanging out with friends at the lake. Then, whatever the fuck was going on reared its ugly head again, freaked Adam out again. That was the worst part to Cole. He desperately wanted Adam’s second chance at life– or re-entering into society, whatever– to be positive. He’d even settle for bearable.

When they’d come away from the shore, Cole had found refuge in the fire. It was starting to get chilly, and he felt like moping alone for a while. Let everyone else talk it out and theorize, but he wanted nothing to do with it. All he could think about was getting out of Hawkins. Clearly, he and Adam had no shot at a normal life here for a multitude of reasons. Their plan had always been to get away, what was stopping them now?

Cole tore his eyes away from the crackling fire as Adam sat down next to him. Despite everything, he smiled at his boyfriend. This felt familiar– the sensation that Adam was nearby but never too close so as to arouse suspicion. Finally, the point in the night where it was safe to be close again, even if they still had to be on guard. 

“Hey,” he echoed, taking the drink with a grateful smile. “It’s really not bad. Maybe I made it all up,” Cole confessed. “And you? Are you okay?” he looked Adam up and down for any sign of injury or distress. Whatever had happened, Adam had been right there, too. “No–” Cole protested quickly, “It’s okay. Really.” Then, quieter, he chanced: “Just… stay with me?” 

In the dark, Cole reached over and took Adam’s hand in his own. It was a risk, but he needed the reassurance. After a few moments of silence, words tumbled frantically out of Cole’s mouth: “What if we just got out of here? We could go anywhere, really, just… maybe it’s Hawkins, and it’s time go. Like we always said. Then all of this wouldn’t matter. I can fix everything.” Cole was embarrassed by his pleading tone.

Being co-host of the camping trip, Adam had had to spend awhile checking in on everyone else when they got back. A lot of theories were being thrown around, as well as stories from the cabin, but he wasn’t paying much attention to them. They sort of went over his head. He didn’t know what grabbed him and Cole, but it had felt stronger than algae. He couldn’t be sure, though. 

Cole drifting away from the others wasn’t surprising to Adam. He understood needing a minute after all of that, and it was starting to get a bit cold out here now that the sun had gone down. Without asking, he passed Cole one of the hoodies he’d brought with him in his duffle bag. If anyone noticed that Cole was wearing his clothes, Adam was kind of beyond caring. He’d do anything that Cole needed him to do right now. 

“You didn’t make it up,” Adam assured with sad eyes, hating that what had happened to them was real. If only it could have been some fucked up nightmare or something. “I’m fine,” He assured, giving Cole a small smile. Honestly, he was worried. But there were no physical marks on him, and he and Cole had both eventually made it to shore. Adam would be okay - this was just another weird thing to add to the list of awful stuff happening around him lately. “I’m not going anywhere.” Adam glanced around, checking to make sure no one was paying too much attention to them. Once he was sure they were safe, he squeezed Cole’s knee in reassurance. 

As Cole began begging him to leave with him, Adam’s heart ached. That had always been the plan, hadn’t it? But Adam had fucked it up somehow three years ago, leaving Cole alone to pick up the pieces. And as much as Adam wanted to go now, he thought about his mother. His dad. Beth, Cindy. He couldn’t just leave them again. He couldn’t run away this time. When he and Cole left, they deserved to know in advance. “Cole,” Adam began sadly, squeezing his hand. “Cole, I want that so bad. I want us to go to California like we planned. I want that.” He assured him, voice steady because someone had to be. “But I can’t leave my family right now. My mom...I don’t think she’s sleeping much, these days. My dad calls home to check and make sure I’m still here every few hours when he’s at work. My sisters didn’t stop crying for hours when I finally came back,” Adam rambled, running a hand through his hair. “I just can’t go right now. I’m so sorry, sweetheart.”