Jackforeman​:

scribblcs​:

as adam tossed out gabe’s name like a question, he nodded, smiling encouragingly. it usually fell from people’s lips uncomfortably, like they were breaking some sort of rule by using his first name, but he was a therapist, not a teacher or a mayor. he didn’t see the purpose for formalities, he made that known by adding, “you can just call me gabe if that’s easier, too.” he already had a strong feeling that wouldn’t be the case. maybe he was jumping too many stones ahead, and gabe supposed he would figure out here shortly just who adam richards was, but at first glance, he already reminded gabe of his teenage self. he recalled the days when he did his best to be the perfect son, an upstanding citizen of his small town in illinois, to be kind, to put himself last, to follow rules and do the right thing. he’d come to shed some of it with age, but there were other traits that were immovable qualities of his personality, ones that he had learned to nurture and respect and understand. he was feeling very hopeful he could do the same for adam, but first, gabe had to take about five steps back and confirm his suspicions. like he hadn’t just gone on an entire contemplative hike mid-session, gabe nodded, “let me know if you change your mind at any time. the water isn’t going anywhere.” he assured, flashing another warm grin. 

when adam started talking about his day, gabe began furiously scratching words onto his notepad. by now, he’d mastered the art of taking notes and maintaining eye contact. so as he wrote with his pen, he simultaneously nodded at adam as he spoke. his thoughts came out onto the page, stiff. uncomfortable. family important to him? his scribbling stopped when adam asked him something. initially, he looked pleasantly surprised, but one could never be too cautious. on his paper he wrote, deflecting? then set his pen down and answered, “sure, if you want.” even if the sessions weren’t about gabe, he wanted to do what he could to ease adam this first go around, “it was pretty tame. i woke up, tended to my garden, did the crossword, ran errands, came here.” he intentionally matched adam’s tone, then flipped it back around on the other, “so if that was what you did today, is it fair to say that’s your everyday? or is your normal routine a little different?” he picked up his pen again. 

Being raised in a white, Catholic upper middle class family left Adam physically unable to call an adult by their first name, and at the suggestion, Adam couldn’t help but shoot Dr. Gabe a look of concern. He’d be keeping the title out of respect and he hoped Dr. Gabe understood that. “Oh, um, thank you. But is Dr. Gabe okay?” Adam asked hesitantly, stuffing his hands anxiously in his pockets. He was worried they’d start shaking if he didn’t get over these nerves soon. There wasn’t even a reason to be nervous - if this didn’t go well, Adam would just leave and make some excuse if he was asked about why he wouldn’t be coming back. He could get through one hour long session. After all, Adam had done a lot more difficult stuff than sitting on a couch and talking about himself for awhile. With that in mind, he squared his shoulders a bit, ready to at least try. 

Dr. Gabe’s writing was a bit distracting - Adam couldn’t help but wonder what about his day was that interesting. Spending time with his family was normal, right? Helping his mom with his siblings had always been something Adam had done, and no one had ever questioned it before. Maybe it had made him give up hanging out with Cole or Chrissy in the past, but it wasn’t like he couldn’t reschedule. He was the oldest, and his mother had always counted on him to be the responsible one. Adam hadn’t minded that duty before. “Gardening seems cool,” He nodded, glancing around the room at the plants again. Plants always seemed to brighten a room, in Adam’s opinion. He’d loved it growing up when his mother had had fresh flowers around, especially when his dad had bought them for her. Adam had done that for Cole a few times in high school too - not because he felt like he was supposed to, but because he’d liked picking out a bouquet that he knew Cole would like. 

“Oh, um,” Adam blinked as he was questioned again, not used to someone wanting to hear from him this much. “I guess it’s pretty normal?” Adam said, crossing his legs to keep his knee from bouncing with nerves. “Most days I hang out with my mom and sisters or with Cole.” He shrugged. “He’s my best friend,” The lie rolled off his tongue with ease now from years of pretending like they were just really close friends. It never felt better though, or made Adam happy. “I run or workout some too.” An old habit from his football days that Adam had never dropped. Honestly, he didn’t really want to, though - he liked the endorphins he got from it, and it felt good having a routine like that. It provided him structure, a reason to get out of bed now that he was back. 

bethkrichards​:

Beth had never wanted to think about how her brother had acted in the week or so before he died. She and Cole had discussed what they thought had gone wrong, what could possibly be the reason why Adam had taken such a turn from himself to the exact opposite plenty of times. It was at rest, until now. She had come to accept that there was something, someone, controlling him, however that came to be. Beth didn’t want to think too much into it; she knew herself, and knew that she would wind up going down a rabbit hole of investigation if she kept thinking about it. There was already enough on her plate with trying to make up for being the only Richards child in college.

It was only a matter of time, though, before Adam remembered the way he was back then. It must have been Cole who had brought it up, after hearing that Adam had nearly choked him. Beth let out a sigh, taking ahold of her brother’s hand. “No, you didn’t hurt us,” she assured him. Biting her lip, she contemplated if she should keep going. “You were just … a little harsh. I don’t really know how to describe it. You were extra angry, and I’d assumed that there was something going on with Cole, but it wasn’t, and then you were just gone.” She stared down at the comforter, tracing the small blue squares with her fingers. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why. I should’ve tried to figure it out, but with school, and mom and dad, I just … couldn’t.”

With how the conversation had taken a turn, Beth figured she probably shouldn’t be seen in public about to burst into tears thinking about Adam’s death. “Let’s take the basement,” she decided, giving Adam’s hand a light squeeze and flashing a small smile. “I think it’s the time for The Price is Right.” Before he passed, she and Adam had made it a summer ritual to watch the show nearly every day, seeing if they could guess the prices better than the contestants. Beth hadn’t watched it much since, but now that Adam was back, she supposed their traditions could be, too.

Adam didn’t keep secrets from Beth - not really. The closest he’d come was Cole, and even then she’d found out pretty soon after they’d gotten together. She was one of the people he was closest to in the world. So it felt odd to not talk to her about his death, about whatever the Mindflayer was. Beth deserved to know. While Adam liked protecting her from things thanks to their two year age gap, when he’d come back, he’d had to face the fact that she was an adult now. She had grown up, and she could handle news like this. 

She didn’t seemed too surprised by the question, which worried him. Beth must have noticed he was different that week, or maybe Cole had let it slip that Adam had tried to hurt him? The thought made Adam’s chest tight. What had he done to his sisters? “Thank God,” He choked out, relief flooding through him immediately. If he had done anything to Beth, or God forbid, Cindy, then Adam would have never forgiven himself. “Lizzie, I’m so sorry,” He apologized immediately, squeezing her hand tightly. “I know you couldn’t have solved it. That wasn’t your job, Beth. You don’t always have to try to fix things,” Adam told her gently, not even slightly blaming her for not realizing he had been controlled that last week. His death had forced her to take on all of the responsibility he’d left behind - he could see that now. And that thought made him want to cry; Beth didn’t deserve that. 

He smiled at the mention of their old favorite show, remembering how competitive they’d gotten about guessing the prices. Any time Adam had gone to Melvald’s with his mom after that, he’s scoped out all the usual items to make sure he would be able to beat her in the future. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Adam nodded, standing up and heading down to the basement. Claiming his usual spot at the end of the couch, he reached for the remote and turned the TV on. Once they were settled in and Bob Barker’s voice was filling the room, he turned back to Beth. “Cole explained what happened to me, kind of.” He told her, unsure what she had been told about it all. “He said it was called the Mindflayer. He didn’t really know much about it, just some stuff he’d heard from Max. Apparently it possessed me.” Adam told her quietly, eyes avoiding her as he repeated what he’d learned from Cole. The thought of being possessed still freaked him out, but he thought Beth should know in case anything ever happened again. 

loverboymontgomery​:

who: Cole & @goldenboyrichards​​

where: Cole’s hospital room :’) 

Everything hurt: his head, his abdomen, his shoulder, his throat. He blinked, but his eyes were heavy and hard to open. What the fuck had happened? His head felt foggy, and his memories were short and senseless. He saw a flash of the Tunnel of Love ride, some unidentified black goo, an explosion, and… Adam looking angry. At him. Adam shoving him away, telling Cole to ‘leave him the fuck alone.’ 

Cole tried to turn onto his side, to hide his teary eyes from the door, in case anyone walked in. Only, moving was no longer simple– he must’ve broken a rib or two, because the pain that lit up Cole’s body was almost strong enough to knock him out. “Fuck,” he exclaimed, brows knit together and stars in his eyes. If he could keep his eyes open long enough to look around, he might have seen Steve in the bed across the room or the figure entering the room and nearing his bed.

Lifting his hands to his face, Cole shielded his eyes from the fluorescent lights. “Why are the lights so fucking bright,” he grumbled to no one in particular. He was about to complain about the bed being angled too high when he locked eyes with him. 

His stomach did a backflip and Cole’s mouth dropped open. He desperately searched Adam’s eyes, trying to decipher who he was right now– his Adam or… whatever he’d been at the carnival? 

“Hey,” he managed, after a beat of silence. Cole desperately wanted to be held, to have some confirmation that Adam was himself again, to push the memories of anyone else to the edge of his mind. 

After getting off of the Tunnel of Love, Adam couldn’t remember a single thing until he woke up surrounded by ash and smoke. Hours of his life were just missing, gone completely as if he’d fallen asleep and woken up. Adam had been popular in high school - he wasn’t unknown at parties. But even back then, he had never truly gotten so drunk that he blacked out. Whatever had happened to him at the carnival was something else entirely, something much more confusing. 

But when he’d come to? All Adam had seen was carnage. People injured, people dead, and Cole being loaded into a fucking ambulance. Adam had been too dazed to follow; he needed a minute to breath and figure out what had even happened. Because he just didn’t know - but there were several people glaring at him like he was responsible for this. Not solely, the others from the forest commune had helped, it seemed. But.... what had they done? And why?

Once he had fully come back into his own body, he remembered the nightmare he’d had. Or maybe it was a memory? But... but Adam would never hurt Cole. Even nightmare Adam hadn’t wanted to. But the thought of shoving him, pinning him against a wall and telling him to ‘fucking leave me alone already’ made Adam’s chest ache. 

As he caught a ride with someone to the hospital, he couldn’t help the tears that collected in his eyes. Just the thought that there was maybe a chance that he’d actually done that made Adam feel like he was going to throw up. 

Adam had waited while Cole lay on a bed, resting after breaking his rib. He couldn’t imagine that he was comfortable - that it didn’t hurt him. Adam would do anything in the world to take the pain from him, add it to his body instead of Cole’s. But there was nothing he could do but watch as his chest rose and fell, steady with the beeping of the heart monitor he was hooked up to. 

When Cole finally came to and asked about the lights, Adam leapt up immediately, reaching over to flick one set of fluorescents off. He thought about turning both off, but... well, what if Cole didn’t want to be in the dark? What if he was scared of Adam? His worst fear was seemingly confirmed when Cole stared at him, studying Adam’s eyes. 

Arms wrapping around him to hold himself together, Adam met his gaze sheepishly. Not because he wanted to, but because Cole deserved to see that it was him standing in front of him.  “Hey,” He replied, feeling far too casual given every fucking thing the two of them had been through. He kept his distance, standing by the light switch near the doorway. “Are you.... is it okay that I’m here?” Adam asked quietly, looking down at the floor. “I was worried about you. I don’t... I don’t know what happened. I don’t remember anything.” 

WHO: Adam & @scribblcs

WHAT: Please talk about your feelings <333

WHERE: Dr. Gabe’s Office

Therapy wasn’t something Adam had any experience with. Neither of his parents had ever seen a therapist that he knew of, at least not while he was growing up. It just didn’t seem necessary, and even now Adam wasn’t sure it was going to be a good fit for him. As much as he was in touch with his emotions, he wasn’t used to sitting around and talking about them with anyone except Cole, Chrissy, Beth or Jack sometimes. Talking to a stranger about his life just felt weird. 

But after everything that had happened with the carnival, Adam knew he probably should visit Dr. Diaz. It had been mandated when they had all begun emerging from the forest commune, but Adam had been successfully avoiding his appointment for awhile now. But with the blackouts? Adam needed someone to help him figure out what was happening, and help him process the idea that he’d done horrifying things whether he meant to or not. 

When he entered Dr. Diaz’s office, he offered the man a tight smile, avoiding his eyes. He wasn’t sure how comfortable he felt opening up to him at this point, honestly. With a glance at the couch in the room, Adam frowned for a minute. “Am I supposed to lay down?” He asked, basing this entirely off of every movie he’d seen with a character laying down and baring their heart to the guy with a notepad. “Um, I’m Adam, by the way.” Adam introduced, although he was sure Dr. Diaz had already been briefed about him or something, just like Peter had been. He stuck his hand out to shake, waiting to follow Dr. Diaz’s lead. 

scribblcs​:

from the moment a client walked in the room, gabe was on, eyes fixed, watching, and scribbling on his notepad without tearing his gentle gaze away from whoever he was seeing. today? it was adam richards, star football player, golden boy, and recently returned from a forest commune he disappeared into three years ago. he looked antsy, which was expected from small town folk like these. where adam smiled tightly, gabe grinned back warm and open. “good afternoon.” he met him, “i’m dr.gabe, as i’m sure you were told.” he dropped his pen and folded his hands over the notepad. he chuckled softly, “do you want to lay down?” he asked adam, looking around his office. “help yourself to any spot or trinkets around here, you’re welcome to smoke if that’s your sort of thing, i have waters in the other room. don’t hesitate to let me know if you need anything, okay?”

he had spent two days sprucing up the place to make it look comfortable, more like a home than an office. there were bean bags and pillows on the floor, a chair, and a large cushioned couch. scattered around the room were plants, quirky incense holders, bookshelves, and a motown record played softly from somewhere in the corner. the floor was covered up with a couple of rugs layered over one another and the blinds were low so to keep the lights from the scattered lamps soft and inviting. gabe took adam’s hand and made a mental note of just how the kid greeted him, “nice to meet you.” he smiled again, then waited for the other to sit down. when he finally looked comfortable, gabe started, “so, adam, how was your day? what did you get up to?” he’d start it off easy, like always.

Mandated therapy to help those who’d been in the ‘forest commune’ adjust felt like a good idea in theory, but bad in practice. After all, who liked being forced to talk about their feelings? Not Adam, at least not with strangers. There was just so much that he knew by now he was supposed to keep to himself. His sexuality, for one thing. But beyond just that, Adam knew that men weren’t supposed to talk about their feelings. He had struggled with that a lot growing up considering how much he wore his heart on his sleeve, but sports had reinforced the idea a lot. Talking about emotions was reserved for Cole, Chrissy or Beth, not a stranger in a doctor’s office in downtown Hawkins. 

“Dr. Gabe?” He repeated, mentally making a note that that must be his first name. Got it. “Oh, um... I guess not?” Adam shrugged. The list of things Gabe was fine with him doing was a little overwhelming at first, but Adam appreciated it. Smoking appealed to him briefly, but he didn’t have any with him. And besides, being an athlete, it wasn’t a good habit anyway. “I think I’m okay. Thank you.” 

The room felt very comfortable, which did ease some of Adam’s concerns. It wasn’t sterile and white like the doctor’s offices he was used to, and there were plants everywhere. His eyes lingered on one near him for a minute - it wasn’t something he was familiar with, but then again, he’d never been a gardener. His mom took care of the flowers at their house. After shaking Gabe’s hand, Adam awkwardly sat down on the couch. He stuck close to the edge, ready to stand back up and make his way back to the door if things got overwhelming. “Um, my day was okay,” He started, glancing at Gabe briefly. “I ran some errands with my mom and took my little sister Cindy to the mall for a bit. Then I came here.” Adam didn’t mind helping his parents out. They were busy, and he liked spending time with Cindy. It meant getting up early, though, and Adam was still tired from spending several days sleeping at the hospital. “How was your day? Am I allowed to ask that?” Adam asked after a second, not wanting to overstep a boundary if it wasn’t okay to ask about Gabe’s life too. 

honestly? Im sincere and so full of love and no one can ever take that away from me

WHO: Adam & @sinclairss​

WHAT: What’s up Jock

WHERE: The park

After his trip to the hunting store with Chance, Max and Cole, life had finally slowed down a bit for Adam. There were still problems he’d have to deal with - whatever was going on with him and Cole, the fact that his best friend was looking for a way to restrain him, the fact that he’d killed his other best friend - but for now, Adam was trying to work on processing it. He’d been going to therapy twice a week now for a while now, and he really did think talking to Gabe about things was helping. Obviously he couldn’t talk about most of that shit, but he was learning how to cope properly. Adam had a long way to go, but he was starting to feel a little less lost.

Gabe had talked to him about hobbies - about finding things that he liked and doing them just for himself. Adam obviously loved sports, but he’d always stuck to football because it was what he was best at. He’d focused on it - trained during the off season still, making sure his arm was perfect and that he was still conditioning. He hadn’t considered basketball seriously in high school, but lately, he’d thought it might be fun to just play some pick up games. After his conversation in the hospital with Lucas, Adam had decided to ask him if he wanted to meet up. 

The park was mostly empty for an afternoon, which was nice. No one was on the basketball court when they got there, so they didn’t have to worry about being careful around kids or anything. “I haven’t played in forever, so don’t make fun of me too much,” Adam admitted, shooting Lucas a small smile as Adam retied his sneakers. “What are we playing?” He thought he’d leave it up to the actual basketball player to decide. Lucas would beat him either way, but that wasn’t what this was about. It was just for fun, something Adam had been missing lately. 

chancecunningham​:

chance had undoubtedly come in hot with his questions, but he was at a loss. he’d been raised christian, which meant that to him, there had always been a clear line between good and evil. god and devil. it all used to be so black and white. but now…good people were doing terrible things. good people that he knew. people like adam. as his friend began to explain himself, chance clenched his jaw and did his best to listen.

“yo what do you mean?” chance asked as he rubbed the back of his neck and stared at adam, “like…you don’t remember anything? don’t remember yelling at cole to leave you alone and shit?” at the word ‘black out,’ he let out a scoff, “fucking christ, richards. you were drunk?” when adam shifted the focus to chance, he waved off his injury nonchalantly. “i’m fine,” the cut above his eyebrow had thankfully been the worst of it. 

chance wasn’t sure what he believed in anymore. he knew good and evil weren’t as black and white as he’d been raised to believe they, but he’d never considered that there was anything more powerful than god or the devil. but now…looking at adam…chance could see that he wasn’t lying. and this thing that had been possessing him…it felt more evil than the devil. “who put you guys up to this, adam? like…cause it wasn’t just you…i mean…heather halloway fucking lifted steve off the ground with her bare hands.” chance lifted both of his hands up like he was choking an invisible steve, “like…by the neck.” a beat. “it was like she wasn’t even human, man…like…” chance didn’t know what to think beyond that, so he just asked questions in circles. “you don’t know anything?”

Adam had distanced himself from the church a bit after he started dating Cole, but that didn’t mean that he’d stopped believing entirely. He had just worried about being part of a group that thought that what he felt for Cole was a sin. But Cole had known how much it mattered to Adam; he had shown him the research that he’d done on whether you could be both part of the church and gay. Not because Cole believed in any of it himself - he didn’t - but he knew that it mattered to Adam. And now, things were even more complicated than before. Because... how could someone who had strived their whole life to be good and do the right thing suddenly be capable of evil? What had Adam done to deserve this, or Jack for that matter? Was there even a Heaven or a Hell, and did Adam coming back mean that he didn’t deserve either? 

At the mention of what he’d done at the carnival, Adam flinched. Chance was upset, and he had a right to be. From the outside, Adam’s behavior made no sense and the things he had done were terrible. “No, I don’t,” He shook his head, distressed at the thought of yelling at Cole “I didn’t mean to.” Adam’s gaze snapped back up to Chance, eyes hardening at the implication that he’d been drunk that night. “I didn’t take or drink anything! I don’t know what happened, Chance! But I wasn’t drunk!” 

He wished he knew what had possessed them. Cole had called it the Mindflayer, but that meant nothing to Adam. He had never heard of anything like it, and he didn’t even know where to start looking into it. Research was more Cole’s area of expertise anyway. “I don’t know, Chance. Something... was controlling us, apparently.” Adam didn’t know how much it was okay to share with his best friend - did he tell him the whole truth or not? It wasn’t exactly something someone could just unknow once they’d heard it. Adam stared in shock at the image of Heather choking Steve and picking him up by the neck - he hadn’t heard that graphic detail yet. Jesus Christ. “I don’t know how we were suddenly super strong, or why she did that, man. I just know that I can’t remember it and apparently that’s how I was acting three years ago when... right before the forest commune thing happened.” Adam covered, not sure how Chance might take the news that he’d died. 

I’m just- I’m tired of trying. I feel like nothing I do is enough.

KEVIN CAN F**K HIMSELF | 1.01 — “Living the Dream”

jackforeman​:

All Jack could offer Adam was a shrug of his shoulders about the whole thing. Weird was really the only way to describe anything these days. “Yeah, it was. I wasn’t hungover or anything when I got home, so I don’t know. Maybe there was something in what we drank? That couldn’t be right, though–it was all in cans.” None of it made sense, but that seemed to be something the two could agree on, besides that things definitely could have gone worse. Cole and Adam weren’t hurt, and that was all that mattered.

Jack wasn’t really the most socially aware person on the planet, but he knew when something was up, especially when it was with Adam. He’d been so used to his ticks and tells when they played together, so much so that it was almost speechless. Jack knew from the way Adam looked (or even threw a football) how he was really doing. “Yeah, I kind of noticed. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, like, pry at anything when we were at the rock, it just … I know you, and I could tell there was something up between you guys.” Maybe it was the discussion about how they’d left for the woods that set Adam in a bad mood. He’d said that it was something about when they were gone, after all. Did he want to know, though? The word we meant that Cole did know something when he was at Melvald’s, but hadn’t said anything. Maybe that was the reason for Jo and Julie acting so strange, too. “I don’t know, do I want to know?” he asked, letting out a shaky laugh. “Not that you really had a choice, if Cole had told you, but … do you wish you didn’t? If that makes sense.”

Adam frowned at Jack not being hungover and them all drinking from cans. So maybe they could rule drugs out. “This whole thing is so confusing,” Adam replied, rubbing at his forehead with the heel of his hand. He was just glad they’d all made it safely, though and that nothing worse had happened. Adam didn’t think he could process any more bad shit right now, honestly. 

Playing together for years in high school left Adam and Jack very well acquainted. Jack knew Adam, and Adam knew him - he knew that Jack was a good guy, one of the best honestly. And he hadn’t told Jack about Cole before not because he didn’t trust him specifically, just...being open in Indiana wasn’t easy. Adam couldn’t be sure which of his jock friends might turn on him, hurting him or Cole for their relationship. But... Adam and Jack were bonded for life now by whatever had happened to them three years ago. There was no going back from that. “Yeah...there was. There is.” Adam corrected, staring down at his hands in his lap to avoid looking directly at his friend. “We’re...together,” He admitted quietly, having told a grand total of two people that he was gay before now. Cole and Chrissy. It never felt easier to expose that part of himself - but loving Cole was the easiest thing Adam had ever done. He just always had to remember that part when telling someone, to make the confession itself not seem so big. “I wish...” Adam sighed, sitting up straighter and leaning back in his chair. “Honestly, dude, I wish I didn’t know. I wish Cole hadn’t told me,” He admitted finally, not wanting to blame Cole. It wasn’t his fault. The thought itself was just so unthinkable to Adam, and he wished he could have lived in ignorance for longer. “But it’s your choice to make, man. I can’t make it for you.”