No Cuz I'm Actually So Pissed Why Didn't He Tell Me He Wasn't Gonna Sleep Call With Me . Why Didn't He

It's fine though. I'll just revoke his data access. And keep him occupied. Then he'll have no choice.

We r drinking and having a good time and he's soured it by telling me that his American friend was sending him posts. I'm going to crash out istg.

Drawing based on things that happened this weekend... I love putting myself into source things instead of source me in source things.

i dont even necessarily need sex, i just really need to be submissive to someone. just to let them tell me what to do so i can switch off my stupid puppy brain for a while, just for them.

to be there on my knees while they do work, not even fully paying attention to my pathetic whines as i solely focus on them and them alone. a rough fucking would be appreciated but i dont need it. being on my knees is enough.

Need someone to force alcohol down my throat when I don't want to drink.

"Aw, you were doing so well staying sober whilst in this headspace, puppy. How about a little treat? No? Refusing a gift? That's not very good of you, dog." And then they hold my mouth open and pour the hardest shit into my mouth and make me swallow.

...Right now. I need this right now.

When I say I want to be treated as subhuman, I mean it. I want to be told when to fall asleep, be woken up 'rudely', to spend the day doing whatever you tell me, and if I get it wrong, you push me to the floor and kick me and ask me how long it'll take until the order penetrates my thick fucking dumb head. I want to be commanded within every inch of my life and serve you until I drop dead.

I want this 24/7/365. I just wish somebody would ask me to fill that role for them.

Whines. Feels so good.

I love needing to be dehumanised and needing to not have free will sooo much that it makes me want to end myself. It feels so wrong to be human, to do things without true purpose, to be able to go anywhere, make my own choices. I wish people understood this and would be willing to treat others in a way that's "unacceptable" in a societal aspect. Need to not be in control.

Need somebody to order me to sleep. To make sure I do actually go to sleep. To berate me and degrade me when I don't. Make me feel like a bad dog for not obeying. To reinforce obeying orders. To train me harder. Each time I disobey, the punishment gets worse. Mrmmm.

Vero/Kit . 21 . It/They/He

Autistic traumagenic did system with bpd. This is a blog for us to keep our stuff on. Maybe make friends idk. Mostly Vero probably.

Not going to censor anything we say (as this is going to act as a sort of "open communication line" as we don't have good internal communication), but will tag appropriately.

DNI: under 18s, gatekeepers, "disorder police", cringe haters

BYF: This blog will contain NSFW, trauma-sharing, fictional depictions of sensitive topics, self-harm discussions, favourite person discussions. Probably more, will try to add accordingly.

Frequent fronters:

Vero: host. Subhuman dogthing who has intense source ties (delusional.) and needs intense therapy. Copes with his source which is a fictional world we created.

93: autism holder. Likes webcore, viruscore, and old technology. Interact with care.

Coda: persecutor. Not good, lets put it that way. Usually only around if Vero is around.

Why am I so anxious. He called me good boy after I joined him, then I went to go wash up before bed, and every few seconds I got pangs through my body like I could sense he was saying stuff. Obviously he wasn't. But my head kept saying things like "come back, puppy" "You're not making owner very happy" "very disobedient. You don't want me, do you?" and I had to physically hold myself from getting my phone to check if he was messaging me. I got really scared. I don't like being like this.