I Love Needing To Be Dehumanised And Needing To Not Have Free Will Sooo Much That It Makes Me Want To

i dont even necessarily need sex, i just really need to be submissive to someone. just to let them tell me what to do so i can switch off my stupid puppy brain for a while, just for them.

to be there on my knees while they do work, not even fully paying attention to my pathetic whines as i solely focus on them and them alone. a rough fucking would be appreciated but i dont need it. being on my knees is enough.

Slightly glad I don't have any internet connection in the complex whilst on holiday cuz now I don't have to deal with it if he decides not to message me.

Sometimes being around him feels like being kicked around like an unwanted toy. Why would he send me this. This is how I feel around him. Why would he make me feel this way. "Dog becoming frantic any time he lays eyes on a new" he fucking knows what he's doing, he fucking knows.

Full disclosure: He does not abuse me. I am safe.

Hello tumblr.

Goodnight tumblr.

I should speak to puppy's American friend. Maybe it would make me feel less anxious and like this. Maybe even make me feel more calm.

He left. I now feel so empty and like I need to fill that void again. It's only a month until I see him again but it's gonna be a long month and I'm going to be in a mood about it the whole time. At least I'm covered in marks from him I guess.

ok im really getting sick of my "bestie" leaving me on read !!! why the fuck aren't you talking to me as much as you used to !!! i wish you didn't fucking control everything i do even when you're not fucking doing anything at all to me !!!

We made out and had sex and I treated him like a mutt. Was good.

Need somebody to order me to sleep. To make sure I do actually go to sleep. To berate me and degrade me when I don't. Make me feel like a bad dog for not obeying. To reinforce obeying orders. To train me harder. Each time I disobey, the punishment gets worse. Mrmmm.

Crazy to me that I don't allow myself to be happy (without actively trying) because I'm not supposed to feel human feelings. It's become natural to act like a dog. Something euphoric about that.