"I'm Gorgeous, It's My Personality That's The Problem."

“I refuse to get this philosophical over Pingu.”

“There’s definitely a small banana joke in there somewhere...”

-My teacher, to a student, after she explained how we’d be putting condoms on bananas and he said he might as well put it on the real thing

“The Hell do I need kidneys for?”

“It should be easier once we get rid of the pile of noses...”

-My mother, not making nearly as much without context

“Karl Marx was a frickin’ babe.”

-A very strange person who was once sent the entire communist manifesto and just replied “hot”

“Let’s go watch memes in the Depression Corner!”

-A random kid, in a sing song voice

"I got so distracted by lesbians I forgot the point of the story!"

“Jaffa cakes are terrifying!”

-My friend, who is genuinely scared of the orange part of Jaffa cakes

"Insulin is the hormone equivalent of 'not like other girls'"

"Miss, can you inject insulin into a random person?"