"I Got So Distracted By Lesbians I Forgot The Point Of The Story!"

“From the moment this universe began it was destined to end in a duck apocalypse.”

“That’s a Cavendish banana, you shithead.”

-me, to one of my closest friends

“I am a thot and Thor.”

“Birds do fly, therefore I am a cop. You’re under arrest!”

“No, you are!”

"Is that an actual certified citrus fact? Hey that's my band name."

"Can you overdose on starch?"

“You’re in trouble!”

-My science teacher in the same way kids do after someone was told to come to the office

I respect your right to want to fuck mothman

“Karl Marx was a frickin’ babe.”

-A very strange person who was once sent the entire communist manifesto and just replied “hot”

"Tell me what pen you use, WITCH!"