"Default Fonts Hurt My Soul..."

"I hate it when people find my corpse..."

“I refuse to get this philosophical over Pingu.”

"Mushrooms are overrated! Yeah, I said it!"

“Smells like science...”

-A girl, with a great sense of smell, literally walking into the science lab

"We called him sparky because he looked like a horse!"

“MEEEOOOWWWW!”

-My cat. Loudly. In my face. At 3am. Every night.

"I'm trying to listen to a dwarvern shanty here, pal!"

"Well, congrats on the vaginal knowledge!"

"Insulin is the hormone equivalent of 'not like other girls'"

He ate his friend. He ate his fucking friend

Convesation between my mum and brother

Brother: He was in the way so we killed him

Mum: You killed your friend in his sleep?

B: It gets worse…

M: …

B: …

M: …

B: We skinned him.

M: …

B: We needed the leather!