"My life is just a series of stupid hills!"
“You’re the kind of person who invades a medieval castle in the winter.”
-My brother
I... I just saw a kid with a jar of Nutella. He just brought Nutella to school in his backpack and took it out in maths.
“God is dead. We have killed him. My tits hurt.”
"I can't believe people live in California..."
"Tell me what pen you use, WITCH!"
"I'm so sad that sloths don't know how much I appreciate them..."
“That’s a pretty gender neutral way of killing someone!”
-Me, not making nearly as much sense without context
"Insulin is the hormone equivalent of 'not like other girls'"
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