"if You're Going To Eat That Rotisserie Chicken Please Do It In An Area Where None Of Us Can See" You

bly sweetly wooing aayla by showing he loves every bit of her messy self as a person and not the idea of a sexy twilek Jedi one piece of mortifying ordeal of being known at a time vs aayla aggressively wooing bly by leaving him little gifts like an eager cat and showing off in battles and hovering around him the way a middle schooler tries to sit next to her crush

This guy won’t leave

for @kinnporscheweek day 5 favorite bromance - peteporsche

[x]

I see the original post going around every so often and it saddens me a little that it's never accompanied by this thread explaining why it's completely understandable how a child would arrive at these spellings in accordance with english phonetics

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE ⤷ S2E5 "Don't Be Afraid, Just Start the Tape."

A Crash Course in Molotov Cocktails, Halyna Kruk

[Image ID: 4 photos from Black Sails overlain with text. The first shows Flint grasping Miranda's face as she cries. The second shows a close-up of Flint's angry face as he hugs Miranda after Thomas's capture. The third shows Miranda, Thomas, and Flint gazing at each other in their house in London. The fourth shows Flint looking at Miranda's corpse as he lies on the floor of Peter Ashe's house. Text on the images reads, "You and I are one tear, one flesh and blood, one painful memory of the world, shared, like a grave." end ID]

Images from https://fancaps.net/

okay so the wilds got canceled for low viewership and negative responses, first kill got canceled for not holding viewership long enough and negative responses, paper girls again got canceled for low viewership, and warrior nun *checks notes* oh warrior nun had overwhelmingly positive responses but got canceled for not holding viewership long enough… weirdly tho these “low viewership” numbers are incredibly similar to many shows that did get renewed and did get largely promoted-namely heartstopper, young royals, elite— so i cant help but wonder if maybe maybe low viewership isnt the problem at all. and that maybe maybe the problem is the other thing that is shared by all of these shows, which is their main love story being wlw and their primary audience being sapphics. and that maybe maybe these shows were never meant to be renewed, as the disparity in promotional investment is obvious, because of that very reason. maybe that has something to do with it. fuck netflix and fuck streaming.

Time Travel is my favourite trope and I think we need more fics where both Obi-Wan AND Qui-Gon time travel together because no matter when they get sent it's chaos. They're saving the galaxy and being physic flash-bangs to everyone around them.

like before Bandomeer?

The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.

"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.

Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.

'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.

"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.

"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.

after Naboo?

Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.

Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.

This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.

the Clone Wars?

The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.

Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)

The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.

"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"

"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"

Louis and Lestat are laughing over shots of drunk ppl neck at a bar and Louis is like, “you wanna hear something crazy though? I topped him for 70 years.” The laughing stops abruptly but after a moment’s pause, Lestat says “ah, you mean you topped him from the bottom” and continues nursing his beer. And Louis’ like “uuuh, NO. I mean I topped him.” And Lestat, thinking that they’ve reached the source of the misunderstanding, says “ooooh, I see now, you mean you bottomed for him from the top.” And Louis’ like “…no, no, what?? no, ~~~I~~~ topped ~~~him~~~.” And Lestat is like “??? OH! Oh my god, how silly of me, I thought we were talking about sex! You must be referring to some modern game I’m unfamiliar with, like bottle caps?” And Louis says “Lestat, I am talking about sex, I topped Armand for 77 years” and Lestat laughs and says “Oh, Louis, and I’VE been the one hermited away in a little shotgun shack! I don’t think that word means what you think it means, but you’re very cute.” It takes another 7 minutes for them to truly come to an understanding, but not before Lestat literally throws his hands up and attributes the confusion to a language barrier that they won’t be able to get past and maybe they should just ‘move on.’ When the realization really hits Lestat he’s left with a profound sense of horror that almost immediately morphs into smug satisfaction that both Louis and Armand have been having the worst sex of their lives for nearly a century, but then it goes 360 fully back round to a horror so sobering that Lestat’s blood alcohol level has shot down to base level at miracle speed. all they can do now is stare at each other and Lestat is hoping with all of himself that Louis can see the genuine sorrow pouring from his eyes and Louis is thinking “i forgot that he can really be so empathetic, i’ve gotta let him hit tonight” and Lestat says through blood tears, “Louis, one time over a century ago you asked me why God put us here. I know now, in every atom of my being, that God put me here to fuck you the right way”

Insane to me that the UK government is slowly trying to legislate trans people out of existence and I have not seen a single person talk about it