sofi-nyx - ANATHEIA šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ

sofi-nyx

ANATHEIA šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ

BEWARE: Here is the land of Asian BL/GL dramas with a spattering of Western shows!

393 posts

Latest Posts by sofi-nyx

sofi-nyx
2 weeks ago

I need to draw men being obnoxious to their partners and getting In The Way right now immediately.

sofi-nyx
2 weeks ago

Watching Star Wars in chronological order is so funny.

Obi-Wan Kenobi really took one look at R2D2 in the middle of the desert and said ā€œNo, Luke, I’ve never seen this fucking droid in my life. Looks like a real bitch though. Not that I’d know. This is my first time meeting the asshole.ā€

No one in that whole franchise was Gatekeep-Gasslight-Girlbossing quite like ā€œBenā€ Kenobi, regular human-man.

sofi-nyx
2 weeks ago

Eddie who hasn’t uninstalled his ring cameras hearing Tommy call him gay in his own house

Eddie Who Hasn’t Uninstalled His Ring Cameras Hearing Tommy Call Him Gay In His Own House
sofi-nyx
4 weeks ago

Idk if anyone else remembers, but Batman canonically carries around Bat-cookies according to the Batman/Scooby-Doo crossover.

I LOVE to think Batman carries them around as snacks for Robin. I love it even more to think he uses said cookies to bribe Robin into good behavior in a similar fashion to Scooby Snacks.

Little Dick Grayson: I don't wanna go to some stupid Gala! U can't make me!

Bruce, in desperation: would u do it for a bat-cookie?

Dick: woah! Bat-shaped! Cool!

Bruce: andddd you can have another one after the party

Dick, mouth full of cookie: okay :)

Bruce, internally: thank fuck a parenting hack that works

Batman: stop! Don't kill him!

Red Hood: and why do I give a fuck what you-

Batman: would u spare his life for a Bat-cookie?

Red Hood:

Red Hood: I'm not a kid anymore-

Batman: they're fresh, look, still warm

Red Hood: ...

Red Hood: this works ONCE. This ONE time. Gimme that damn cookie.

Batman: of course

Red Hood: Fuck I've missed these what the hell does Alfred put in em

Bruce: go to sleep, Tim

Tim: I'm almost done-

Bruce: go to sleep now and you can have a bat-cookie

Tim: a what?

Bruce: a bat-cookie. See? Here, first taste is free. Try it.

Tim: bribery? Really?

Bruce: positive reinforcement

Tim: giving me treats like I'm some kind of dog?

Bruce: try it and then we'll debate the ethics

Tim [eats cookie]:

Tim:

Tim: okay

Bruce: Okay?

Tim: if I promise to sleep a full 8 hours I want two more and a glass of milk

Bruce: u drive a hard bargain but I accept

Dick: aw, c'mon, Damian. One picture. For me, to remember your first day of high school. Do it for a bat-cookie?

Damian: -tt- I've heard of these so-called "bat-cookies" Insulting. I am not a child. I refuse to participate in such an asinine tradition.

Dick: shame. Alfred made animal-friendly ones so you can share with Ace and Batcow. I guess they don't get any treats either, then

Damian: well

Damian: since it would please you so very much, I will overlook this patronizing lapse in judgment

Damian [tries one bite of cookie]:

Damian:

Damian: given Batcows higher food intake requirements, I will require at least a dozen.

Damian [takes another bite]: perhaps two dozen

Duke: you agree I did a good job today?

Bruce: yes? I suppose. Earlier, when you stopped that-

Duke: shut it. Don't care. Cookie me.

Bruce: excuse me?

Duke: I know about the cookies, old man. You've been holding out on me. The cat's out of the bag. I did a good job, I get a cookie. That's how it works, right?

Bruce: uh well

Bruce: that was a long time ago

Bruce: i had to discontinue that method after-

Duke: are you saying I'm not a valid member of this family because I was never Robin?

Bruce: of course you are! But I don't have any on me-

Duke: don't. Lie. To. Me.

Bruce: Okay! Okay. You're right, I'm sorry. Here, take it. Just... do me a favor, and don't go announcing to the whole cave you got-

Duke: YES. MY FIRST BAT-COOKIE! SCORE!

Every batmember in the vicinity: BAT-COOKIES ARE BACK????

Bruce: NO! stay back! Stay back you animals! Alfred! Alfred! It's happening again-

Alfred, sighing: I'll preheat the oven, sir

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

"If you were actually in that much pain you'd be screaming in agony" well, the thing is, screaming takes energy and so does being in pain, and I also have other shit to do, you know. I think people only have the context of pain as being an acute concept, like stubbing your toe...something that comes and then gets better. You kinda get used to chronic pain, but it never stops hurting. You just learn to exist with it, because you don't have another choice

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

Some young mando: *gets flustered around Ahsoka*

Rex and every clone nearby:

Some Young Mando: *gets Flustered Around Ahsoka*
Some Young Mando: *gets Flustered Around Ahsoka*
Some Young Mando: *gets Flustered Around Ahsoka*

Before I even get to the other ask. Holy shit this made me cackle. I fuckin love these boys so much. And Temura's side eye is so lethal. This made my day.

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

I think that it's really important for people to realize that being disabled is traumatic. genuinely. your body and brain feel like they are breaking down and wrong. you are in constant heavy stress from stuff like chronic pain. most disabled people i know have a somewhat regular emotional break down from the trauma of it all. and we are expected to just smile through it by society, to not be in the way, to not be an issue.

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

"if you're going to eat that rotisserie chicken please do it in an area where none of us can see" you hate me. you hate me because i have different eating habits than you and you want me to STARVE

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

A List of Very Convincing Reasons why Elrond Peredhel Cannot become Noldor High King after Gil-Galad, written by Dnorle Lehderep

He's like Finwe's great great great grandson; that's clearly too many generations away.

Also he's technically a Feanorian and they're like, super cursed and also dispossessed so maybe he shouldn't be in the line of succession.

No one can agree on whether his claim comes from the Nolofinwean or Feanorian lines. Clearly the best solution to this is for him to not be king.

Galadriel is right there.

He turns into a bird sometimes and everyone knows that birds can't be elf-kings that would be silly.

Yes, he does have one of the three rings "for elvish kings" but Cirdan also has one of those, and he's not an elvish king, so frankly it doesn't matter.

Gil-Galad's will, which states that Elrond inherits the crown, was clearly forged. I will not explain how. Trust me on this one.

C'mon guys he's not even technically an elf. Yes Melian was a queen over elves without being an elf. Yes Dior was a half-elf elf king. I don't see what that has to do with anything.

Do we really need a king?? Apparently some edain are experimenting with a new system called "democracy" and fraknly that sounds a lot better and cooler than having another king.

We'd have to get the crown resized again and that would be a lot of work.

He wears his hair partially down. In public. If that's not scandalous I don't konw what is.

I know his followers keep talking about how great of a leader he is, but they're mostly Feanorians, so clearly that doesn't count.

Galadriel. Is. Right. There.

He probably doesn't even speak Quenya. Don't ask anyone at court to confirm this.

He's very busy revolutionizing the field of medicine in Rivendell right now, please leave me him alone.

Clearly he doesn't wear enough jewelry to be a proper Noldor king.

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

I love it when Elrond is portrayed as someone who is a little bit incomprehensible to most of the elves at first. Not even just because he's a half-elf, but because he reminds them all of so many other people, and that layering can be kind of jarring.

He sings beautifully, with a voice that sounds like no elf or man, and it reminds many of the Sindar of Luthien. It reminds some of the Noldor of someone else, another singer with raven-dark hair and starry gray eyes.

The braids he does his hair in– and he always keeps it braided at first, because letting it run loose is another thing that makes people whisper of Luthien– are in the traditional Noldor style. The survivors of Gondolin love that; Turgon always wore his hair in classical styles too. The other part of the House of Finwe that clung to traditional braids goes unmentioned. But everyone knows.

And he was clearly taught about court manners; taught to be gracious and charming, and a very good listener. The elf who could have taught Elrond those things is usually skipped over entirely, in favor of those reminiscing about Idril's graceful poise or Melian's endless patience.

He looks very much like Luthien, but there is a particular Finwean sharpness in his facial structure; something that makes him look a lot like Fingolfin, as well. Fingolfin looked very much like his father. And his older brother.

His smile is just like Earendil's (whose smile is just like Tuor's), and his strange, birdlike laugh is from Elwing. He fights and writes with his left hand– but then, so did Earendil, because while all elves are right-handed, not all humans or half-elves are. He eats no meat– just like Beren, they say, but the way Elrond tells it the choice had nothing to do with that history. There is ainuric power in him and something very human in the set of his shoulders. The flowers grow around any place he stays long enough. He gets sick in a way no elf, and certainly no maia, ever would. His accent is odd, and archaic, and changes noticeably when he's too tired to obscure it. His mannerisms are a mixture of about twelve people, almost all of whom are dead, and several of whom are not spoken of by the time he shows up in Gil-Galad's camp.

And the reflections of Elrond unsettle a lot of people; because one moment they see a fallen hero or loved one, and the next they see the person that took them. Or perhaps someone else, that they never knew at all. There is reverence and fear and uncertainty. It's messy.

Elrond himself is coming to peace with this by the War of Wrath. There is love in carrying the parts of your ancestors with you, even when they aren't around any more. And he knows better than anyone that he is always himself, first and foremost. Still, it takes everyone else a while to stop seeing a ghost and start seeing Elrond.

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

university professors love to create the most fucked up pdf ever known to mankind. it's enrichment for them.

sofi-nyx
1 month ago
Giving Me Access To Word Art Was A Mistake
Giving Me Access To Word Art Was A Mistake
Giving Me Access To Word Art Was A Mistake
Giving Me Access To Word Art Was A Mistake
Giving Me Access To Word Art Was A Mistake

giving me access to word art was a mistake

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

and a shoutout to the twoĀ Māori men who travelled to Vienna in 1859, got themselves apprenticed as printers (and incidentally became accomplished ballroom dancers), and finally had an audience with Franz Josef where they charmed him so much that he sent a printing press to New Zealand….which was promptly used from 1861 to print the newspaper of the Kingitanga anti-colonial movement.

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

Dick Tim Damian and Jason getting carried away during an all out sibling argument that breaks out during a public gala and they forget they have an audience to the point where Damian starts spitting his ā€˜i am the blood son of Bruce Wayne you have nothing on me you imbeciles’ and without thinking Jason responds with ā€˜yeah you’re the son of Brucie Wayne all right but you forget I’m the son of fucking BATMAN and i have been since before you were even fucking PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE’

Damian: I AM THE BLOOD CHILD OF BRUCE WAYNE YOU PATHETIC CREATURE

Jason, fully about to fist fight his little brother in front of these shrimp platters: AND I’M THE SON OF BATMAN, WHILE YOU WERE TAUGHT HOW TO SIP CHAMPAGNE AND FALL INTO FOUNTAINS I WAS TAUGHT HOW TO THROW HANDS NOW FUCKING SQUARE UP CHILD

Dick, eyeing the now silent ballroom: uh, guys-

Tim, vibrating with excitement at the prospect of watching Damian get a ceramic plate to the face: don’t you fucking dare stop them

lacking context, Gotham is now under the impression that Jason Todd was not, in fact, a random street kid taken under Bruce’s wing, and is rather the biological son of Batman, who for some reason got his good friend Bruce Wayne to become the kid’s guardian, presumably to protect him from the life of crime he is leading. it also fuels the ā€˜Bruce Wayne is dating Batman’ rumours an almost impossible amount.

Another unforeseen consequence is that since it is common knowledge that the batkid vigilantes are most likely Batman’s children too, civilian Jason Todd is now considered to be the adopted brother of Tim, Damian, and Dick, and the biological brother of Nightwing, Red Hood, Red Robin, and Robin.

Jason is asked who his favourite sibling is.

ā€˜ok they all suck apart from Hood. he’s such a nice man. used to take me ice skating.’

the family hate him.

sofi-nyx
1 month ago
BLACK SAILS ( 2014 - 2017 )
BLACK SAILS ( 2014 - 2017 )
BLACK SAILS ( 2014 - 2017 )
BLACK SAILS ( 2014 - 2017 )

BLACK SAILS ( 2014 - 2017 )

4.03 "XXXI" // 3.09 "XXVII" // 3.05 "XXIII" // 3.08 "XXVI"

sofi-nyx
1 month ago
Ask A Historian, ā€œWhat Was Mankind’s Greatest Invention?ā€ Fire? The Wheel? The Sword? I Would Argue
Ask A Historian, ā€œWhat Was Mankind’s Greatest Invention?ā€ Fire? The Wheel? The Sword? I Would Argue
Ask A Historian, ā€œWhat Was Mankind’s Greatest Invention?ā€ Fire? The Wheel? The Sword? I Would Argue
Ask A Historian, ā€œWhat Was Mankind’s Greatest Invention?ā€ Fire? The Wheel? The Sword? I Would Argue
Ask A Historian, ā€œWhat Was Mankind’s Greatest Invention?ā€ Fire? The Wheel? The Sword? I Would Argue
Ask A Historian, ā€œWhat Was Mankind’s Greatest Invention?ā€ Fire? The Wheel? The Sword? I Would Argue

Ask a historian, ā€œWhat was mankind’s greatest invention?ā€ Fire? The wheel? The sword? I would argue it’s history itself. History isn’t fact. It’s narrative, one carefully curated and shaped. Under the pen strokes of the right scribe, a villain becomes a hero, a lie becomes the truth.

-Gaal Dornick, Foundation

sofi-nyx
1 month ago
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used
BLACK SAILS + All The Times The Word ā€œmonsterā€ Was Used

BLACK SAILS + all the times the word ā€œmonsterā€ was used

sofi-nyx
1 month ago

academic papers about black sails

Jones, Clint, "Black Sails as Philosophy: Pirates and Political Discourse"

Myrvang, Olav Kjetil, "Because I don’t want to be a pirate" - A Contextual Study of the Representation of Long John Silver in Treasure Island and Black Sails

Carcas, Leyres, ā€œHETEROBAITINGā€: BLACK SAILS AND THE SUBVERSION OF QUEERBAITING TROPES

Schneider, Elisabeth, "RECLAIMING QUEERBAITING: A CALL TO ACTION"

Friedrich, Kathrin, "ā€˜Evil Heroes’ in Black Sails – A Case Study: How Character Complexity and Nonverbal Actions Invite Positive Viewer Responses"

Razman, D. C. (2020) ā€œBlack Sails, Rainbow Flag: Examining Queer Representations in Film and Televisionā€ [click for pdf]

Srividhya Swaminathan, (2017) ā€œThe New Cinematic Piracy: Crossbones and Black Sailsā€ (in ā€˜The Cinematic Eighteen Century: History, Culture, and Adaptation’ (2017, 1st ed.) edited by Srividhya Swaminathan and Steven W. Thomas)

Dirksen, S.J. (2019) ā€œConstructing the Identity of the Popular Pirate: The Outlaw, Marginal Identities, and Utopia in Black Sails (2014-2017) and Assassin’s Creed IV: Black Flag (2013)ā€

Min-Chi Chen (2024) ā€œWeaponizing Monstrosity: Starz’s Black Sails and the Power of Monstrous Narrativeā€ (in Chapter 2 of ā€˜Monsters and Monstrosity in Media: Reflections on Vulnerability’, 23, 2024, edited by Yeojin Kim, Shane Carreon)

Jessica Walker ā€œCivilization’s Monsters: The Doomed Queer Anti-Imperialism of Black Sailsā€ (in ā€˜Pirates in History and Popular Culture’ (2018) edited by Antonio Sanna) [entire book in pdf]

ā€œFrom Dogs to Kingsā€ https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2:1332062/FULLTEXT01.pdf

sofi-nyx
1 month ago
What Kind Of Man Loves Like This?
What Kind Of Man Loves Like This?
What Kind Of Man Loves Like This?

what kind of man loves like this?

sofi-nyx
1 month ago
sofi-nyx - ANATHEIA šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ
sofi-nyx - ANATHEIA šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ
sofi-nyx - ANATHEIA šŸ³ļøā€šŸŒˆ
sofi-nyx
1 month ago
A Crash Course In Molotov Cocktails, Halyna Kruk
A Crash Course In Molotov Cocktails, Halyna Kruk
A Crash Course In Molotov Cocktails, Halyna Kruk
A Crash Course In Molotov Cocktails, Halyna Kruk

A Crash Course in Molotov Cocktails, Halyna Kruk

[Image ID: 4 photos from Black Sails overlain with text. The first shows Flint grasping Miranda's face as she cries. The second shows a close-up of Flint's angry face as he hugs Miranda after Thomas's capture. The third shows Miranda, Thomas, and Flint gazing at each other in their house in London. The fourth shows Flint looking at Miranda's corpse as he lies on the floor of Peter Ashe's house. Text on the images reads, "You and I are one tear, one flesh and blood, one painful memory of the world, shared, like a grave." end ID]

Images from https://fancaps.net/

sofi-nyx
2 months ago
I Don’t Really Go Here But U Can Always Rely On This Man To Read A Right Wing Politician’s Outfit

I don’t really Go Here but u can always rely on this man to read a right wing politician’s outfit for filth

sofi-nyx
2 months ago

So you don’t have to watch the video every time you need one of these hacks immediately:

1. If you feel nauseated, smell rubbing alcohol.ļæ¼

2. If you feel like throwing up, start humming.

3. If you have a runny nose, put your tongue to the roof of your mouth and press your thumb to your forehead for about 20 seconds.

4. If you have a headache, pinch the webbing between your fingersļæ¼ and rub it back and forth for about 1 minute.

5. If you’re lightheaded from standing up too quickly, clench your butt cheeksļæ¼.

6. If your arm’s dead/has the pins and needles feeling, rock your head back and forth.

7. If you need to pee badly, think of sex to trick your brain and relieve the pressure.ļæ¼

8. If you have a migraine, stick your hands in ice water.ļæ¼

9. If you wanna calm your racing heart, blow on your thumb.ļæ¼

sofi-nyx
2 months ago

it wasn't supposed to end like this

[on youtube]

sofi-nyx
3 months ago

considering the manor is completely massive and the only person who spends more than a few consecutive hours there at a time is probably Alfred, i think it would be funny if after the pit, Jason decides after everything he's been through that he can't be bothered to do the whole revenge thing, or sort out safe houses or get an apartment and instead just decides to kill the joker himself and just... secretly go home.

like, as long as he kept an ear out to make sure he wasn't eating in the dining room when Bruce comes down, he could probably get away with walking around without ever being caught. Alfred would find out, i assume, but i think knowing how complicated Jasons emotions towards Bruce are right now, he'd keep it quiet and just be happy that the one other person he trusts to leave alone in the kitchen is finally back. And then, of course, there's the kids.

Damian knew from the beginning. Not because he's especially observant, but because this is his big brother from the league and the first night he spent at the manor Jason crawled through his window in full Red Hood gear and told him not to snitch. Considering that in the league Jason once snuck up behind Ra's and shaved a strip of hair off the back of his head, Damian decides there's far stupider shit the guy could be doing and leaves it be.

Tim finds out next. admittedly, the only reason he finds out is because Jason thought he knew and just stopped attempting to avoid him. in reality, what happened was Tim, having not slept for three days and living off nothing but spite and coffee, accidentally walked in on Jason cooking in the middle of the night, and immediately wrote it off as a hallucination. Jason, seeing Tim find him in the manor and not react badly, decided that 'oh, the replacement must just be chill i guess' and mentally pencilled him in as another person in the building that he can be seen by. it came to a head when a few days later Damian was forced by Jason to invite Tim out with them on their weekly 'eat junk food and talk shit about the rest of the family' outings, since he was a part of the group now. Tim cries.

Dick only finds out because Tim and Damian keep forgetting that Jason isn't supposed to be talked about in public. there comes a point where Tim rips Dick's favourite sweater and when Dick confronts him about it, Tim panics and blurts out 'it wasn't me, must have been jason!', and upon seeing Dick's face, Damian smacks him and grumbles 'good job Drake, now we have to show him Todd or he'll cry again.'. Jason is not overly happy when he sneaks through his bedroom window after going out as Red Hood and finds a sobbing Dick sat on his bed, Tim staring at the ground looking very ashamed while Damian straight face points at Tim to make it clear that this was Not His Fault.

after realising literally everyone in the house sans Bruce knows he's there, Jason decides to just. stop hiding. the fact is that he wasn't trying that hard in the first place, and Bruce still didn't have a clue, so he kinda wants to see how long it takes the 'world's greatest detective' to realise his dead kid is just. back.

so he stops hiding. starts showing up for family meals, starts being more friendly with the bats as Red Hood, and they all wait to see what finally tips Bruce off.

they forget how fucking stupid this man can be.

because if Jason had gone up to Bruce and done some sort of dramatic or emotional reveal then sure, Bruce would be shocked. he'd freak out. but the fact is that Bruce has both Batman and Brucie Wayne to keep up with. He's barely paying attention to his own feet while walking, let alone the people around him.

so when Jason starts showing up and acting like nothings changed, and literally nobody else in the house acts like anything's different either? Bruce straight up forgets that Jason's supposed to be dead. His mind just registers 'oh there are his kids, fighting like usual', and forgets to take in whether or not those kids are SUPPOSED to be ALIVE.

the kids find it fucking fascinating. Jason can actually have conversations with Bruce at the dinner table, and Bruce doesn't even realise that this is a wild fucking thing to be happening. Tim starts laughing at him and Bruce gets confused, only making the poor kid laugh harder. Jason just can't believe he actually bothered putting effort into hiding when he first came back. Damian's respect for his father diminishes every day.

it becomes a game, to see how far it will go. at one point Dick straight up asks who was better as Robin, him or Jason, in an attempt to jog his memory, and Bruce without looking up from the batcomputer goes 'you were both equally good, stop trying to start competitions with your brother'. Dick throws his hands up in the air and Jason, who has been sat on top of his own fucking memorial case to watch this shit show for the past 20 minutes, slow claps.

it's only after like a month of this that half way through a casual family breakfast, Damian asks Jason to pass him the orange juice or something, and Bruce finally has the fucking moment of

Considering The Manor Is Completely Massive And The Only Person Who Spends More Than A Few Consecutive

he never lives it down.

sofi-nyx
3 months ago

i do love the idea of the Justice League finding out Batman’s identity and the fact that he’s actually just a tired vigilante dad and immediately discrediting his spooky-scary-intimidating reputation, and Bruce just being devastated about it. he worked so hard on that reputation, on that respect, and it’s all down the drain just like that. nobody flinches away from his glare anymore, because they’ve seen him glare at Red Hood and get a spoonful of mashed potato flung into his face for the effort. nobody cares about his threats anymore, because he tried to threaten Red Robin to go home and rest one time and Tim just giggled at him deliriously before mocking his tone and stealing his coffee. they’ve seen him pick a splinter out of a whining Nightwing’s finger mid-meeting. Damian once called him a condomless harlot to his face when he told him not to bring his swords onto the watchtower. he’s lost control.

he decides he wants the fear factor back and in all his brilliant genius, he decides the best way to go about that is to invite the league round for a fancy dinner party, specifically so he can use all his ā€˜brucie wayne’ acting skills to channel the essence of every creepy-rich-guy-in-haunted-manor movie he has ever seen in his life. it is the only time his kids have been fully onboard and willing to contribute to one of his plans without any complaints. they almost seemed more eager to pull it off than he was.

they spend the entire day making the manor look old and slightly abandoned, much to Alfred’s displeasure, and ensure that the only lighting is a fuck ton of candles, just enough to light the halls while leaving the corners and edges shadowy and ominous. Damian is allowed to have some of his more ā€˜skittery’ pets roam the manor freely for the night, causing occasional scritches and scratches to come from the ceilings. all of the kids dress in their best funeral attire, apart from Jason who gleefully pulls on an old white shirt stained with blood from when Tim crashed through his window with a stab wound, requesting a medkit.

when the league arrive they’re greeted by all the kids lined up on the staircase, staring at them blankly and ominously, while Bruce gives them all a large grin and ushers them into the creepy looking dining room. the league are somewhat nervous.

during the dinner the kids act completely different than the league have seen them in-mask. polite, cordial, and refusing to show an ounce of emotion. they pick at their food and only speak in vague sentences that refer to various horrific events of their past. Bruce has never been prouder.

the first close call they have to breaking character is when Bruce presents a bottle of red wine without any kind of label. as he pours a slightly disturbed Diana a glass, she asks where he got it from. Bruce happily gestures to Jason as says ā€˜my second eldest procured it especially for you, earlier today.’

Diana looks across the table at where Jason is grinning eerily at her by candlelight, still visibly stained with blood, eyes glowing slightly green. she pales, and Tim knows he can’t watch her shakily lift the glass to her lips without bursting out laughing. he refuses to be the one who fucks up first, so he dramatically stands up and declares he must ā€˜go feed the experiments’ before storming out the room. ā€˜the experiments’ are in reference to the pen of rabbits outside that glow in the dark because Damian rescued them from a testing facility, but given the environmental context it sounds much more sinister.

Jason joins him by the pen to also start wheeze-crying in private about 20 minutes later, because apparently after Oliver Queen had finished with his bbq rib, Damian had leaned over and without blinking stared into his eyes to blankly state ā€˜i would love to feed your bones to my animal friends, if you don’t need them anymore.’ and from the other end of the table Jason had snorted wine up his nose from how hard he was trying not to break.

amazingly, they never break character, although it came pretty close when after hearing another skitter from somewhere above, Stephanie climbed up from the table into the crystal chandelier and deftly returned to present the table with a large tarantula cradled in her hands, to which Damian stood up and declared, ā€˜ah, dessert! i will help pennyworth prepare it.’ before taking the animal and leaving to put his beloved spider back in it’s enclosure. the league genuinely seemed to be under the impression they were about to be served a tarantula-based desert, and upon seeing their faces at this realisation Dick had to pretend he’d dropped a fork on the ground so he could duck by Bruce’s chair and stuff a napkin in his mouth while he got his laughter under control. Bruce pats his shaking son’s back below the table cloth, determinedly staring at their guests with that same creepy-grin he’d kept up the entire night.

every member of the league makes their excuses to leave early, much to Bruce’s exaggerated disappointment. the second the last of them is out the door Alfred turns to face the family and says ā€˜mission accomplished. now get this manor back to it’s proper state.’ and they have the spend the rest of the night cleaning.

totally worth it, in Bruce’s mind. none of the JL will look him in the eye for weeks afterwards, and it was honestly the most successful attempt at family bonding they’d ever had. he wonders if they should make it a monthly thing. It’s also how they find out Damian’s a fucking theatre kid with a gift for the arts which is another revelation in of itself

sofi-nyx
3 months ago

Tim, abruptly standing up in shock: Wait, I just realised that Damian will graduate highschool in 2032

Damian, rasing a brow: Yes, ofcourse? As I am currently in fourth grad-

Jason, spitting out water: What the fuck? 2032?

Steph, pointing accusingly: That's not a real graduation year you made that up!

Dick: I think I just threw up in my mouth a little

Duke, with his head in his hands: Does anyone else feel both their feet in the grave? I graduated this year!

Dick: Feet? More like my entire body, I finished high school years ago!

Cass: Guys I think Bruce is crying

sofi-nyx
3 months ago

Feanor being handed a baby or toddler whenever he starts to rant bc it’s the One Thing guaranteed to stop him shouting.

Finwƫ discovered this quite by accident when Feanor was first presented with his baby sister because as soon as she was pressed into his arms he stopped complaining and started cooing.

Fingolfin going around armed with a baby (his own children, his brothers’ children, and grandchildren) whenever he knows he might say something that will upset Feanor. (Such as ā€˜hello’)

Feanor getting ready to swear the Oath and having Baby Idril (or Toddler Tyelpe) instantly pressed into his arms. The Oath doesn’t happen, the baby is comforted from the Dark and Scary Noises. It’s a win win situation.

sofi-nyx
3 months ago

I went to a library book sale this weekend and I found a very old book called ā€œElectronic Life: How to Think About Computers,ā€ which was published in I think 1975? I’ve been reading it kind of like how I would read a historical document, and it’s lowkey fascinating

sofi-nyx
3 months ago

Because someone is on the ball, Turner Classic is playing (among other WWII films) The Great Dictator today.

If you haven't seen it, please do. It was produced by Charlie Chaplin in the late 1930s, when it became clear that the war was going to happen, and came out in 1940 after it had started. Essentially, Chaplin realized that his famous mustache was about to be usurped forever by a fascist, and that fascist was going to kill a lot more people in the future than he had already.

It's a parody, made before the worst horrors of the Nazi regime were known to the general public, so there is discomfort here (if you've seen Disney's Der Fuhrer's Face, you'll get the idea), but the movie ends with Chaplin essentially saying "fuck it, no one else seems to be speaking out about this and I'm going to use my platform to do that."

For context, this character is a Jew who has been mistaken for the dictator (for obvious mustache-related reasons), and has been sent onstage at a rally to give a speech. Instead of trying to impersonate Hitler, he says what he really thinks. And keep in mind, Chaplin was coming out of semi-retirement for this. It was the first time most people had ever heard him speak, and this is what he said:

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