I see the original post going around every so often and it saddens me a little that it's never accompanied by this thread explaining why it's completely understandable how a child would arrive at these spellings in accordance with english phonetics
Armand recreating Amadeo in the penthouse
I thought this was inherent but you have to care about trans people you don’t want to fuck too
Idk if anyone else remembers, but Batman canonically carries around Bat-cookies according to the Batman/Scooby-Doo crossover.
I LOVE to think Batman carries them around as snacks for Robin. I love it even more to think he uses said cookies to bribe Robin into good behavior in a similar fashion to Scooby Snacks.
Little Dick Grayson: I don't wanna go to some stupid Gala! U can't make me!
Bruce, in desperation: would u do it for a bat-cookie?
Dick: woah! Bat-shaped! Cool!
Bruce: andddd you can have another one after the party
Dick, mouth full of cookie: okay :)
Bruce, internally: thank fuck a parenting hack that works
Batman: stop! Don't kill him!
Red Hood: and why do I give a fuck what you-
Batman: would u spare his life for a Bat-cookie?
Red Hood:
Red Hood: I'm not a kid anymore-
Batman: they're fresh, look, still warm
Red Hood: ...
Red Hood: this works ONCE. This ONE time. Gimme that damn cookie.
Batman: of course
Red Hood: Fuck I've missed these what the hell does Alfred put in em
Bruce: go to sleep, Tim
Tim: I'm almost done-
Bruce: go to sleep now and you can have a bat-cookie
Tim: a what?
Bruce: a bat-cookie. See? Here, first taste is free. Try it.
Tim: bribery? Really?
Bruce: positive reinforcement
Tim: giving me treats like I'm some kind of dog?
Bruce: try it and then we'll debate the ethics
Tim [eats cookie]:
Tim:
Tim: okay
Bruce: Okay?
Tim: if I promise to sleep a full 8 hours I want two more and a glass of milk
Bruce: u drive a hard bargain but I accept
Dick: aw, c'mon, Damian. One picture. For me, to remember your first day of high school. Do it for a bat-cookie?
Damian: -tt- I've heard of these so-called "bat-cookies" Insulting. I am not a child. I refuse to participate in such an asinine tradition.
Dick: shame. Alfred made animal-friendly ones so you can share with Ace and Batcow. I guess they don't get any treats either, then
Damian: well
Damian: since it would please you so very much, I will overlook this patronizing lapse in judgment
Damian [tries one bite of cookie]:
Damian:
Damian: given Batcows higher food intake requirements, I will require at least a dozen.
Damian [takes another bite]: perhaps two dozen
Duke: you agree I did a good job today?
Bruce: yes? I suppose. Earlier, when you stopped that-
Duke: shut it. Don't care. Cookie me.
Bruce: excuse me?
Duke: I know about the cookies, old man. You've been holding out on me. The cat's out of the bag. I did a good job, I get a cookie. That's how it works, right?
Bruce: uh well
Bruce: that was a long time ago
Bruce: i had to discontinue that method after-
Duke: are you saying I'm not a valid member of this family because I was never Robin?
Bruce: of course you are! But I don't have any on me-
Duke: don't. Lie. To. Me.
Bruce: Okay! Okay. You're right, I'm sorry. Here, take it. Just... do me a favor, and don't go announcing to the whole cave you got-
Duke: YES. MY FIRST BAT-COOKIE! SCORE!
Every batmember in the vicinity: BAT-COOKIES ARE BACK????
Bruce: NO! stay back! Stay back you animals! Alfred! Alfred! It's happening again-
Alfred, sighing: I'll preheat the oven, sir
This shouldn't even be need to be said but don't fucking report people who express being suicidal. I don't care how much you think you're doing it for someone's own good, it does NOT help us it only harms further
READ that AGAIN
You are ACTIVELY harming those people when you try to be a goody two-shoes and tell on them when they get suicidal
Don't fucking report them to social media app features that have the report for self harm option. Don't fucking call a suicide hotline on them. Don't fucking report them to therapists, paychiatrists, cops, controlling parents or partners
It does not matter how uncomfortable it makes you - this isn't ABOUT you - it doesn't matter how much it goes against your cute little saviour complex thinking you're being oh such a wonderful kind heroic person by "saving" someone from themself.
When you report a person to any of those places it heavily risks hospitalisation and incarceration. Where I live it's technically still a crime to attempt suicide, they never overturned the law. And if you think being in a ward might help them - do everyone a favour and go check out the actual conditions in the wards and talk to psych survivors about how they actually are. Otherwise shut up about things you have no experience with.
Everyone should have a right to autonomy, especially bodily autonomy, and you don't have to like what they do with their own body for you to know not to take that away from someone. It's not your place to judge, it's not okay to be moralistic about bodily autonomy suddenly because you can't handle the reality of mentally ill people.
And it's not fucking okay to lock us in and remove us from society just because our disorders are too fucking ugly for you to look at.
If you absolutely have to help just talk to a suicidal person if they're up to it, just ask them what will help, and if you can't do that then leave us the fuck alone you snitches
And don't come at me with the law, if you had to be an ally to mentally ill people, to queer people, to women, to any kind of marginalised people, historically a lot of it has always included standing against the law and with us.
STOP REPORTING US
“how interesting that something so huge and life-changing should happen so early in your life and so late in mine.”
my emmy nominated father and child duo i love them so much i’m so happy and so proud of them ❤️❤️
university professors love to create the most fucked up pdf ever known to mankind. it's enrichment for them.
like before Bandomeer?
The entire council is baffled to watch as Qui-Gon 'never taking a padawan again' Jinn has suddenly cut off his post-Xanatos depression tour to return to the temple and beeline to the creche with a frantic energy. His wild eyes immediately single out a fluffy, red-haired initiate.
"You." he exhales with a pointed finger, slightly ominous as he towers over the child. Said child starts vibrating with delight. "Me." he agrees, launching himself at the man. Qui-Gon drops to his knees with a thud that cannot be healthy. Obi-Wan's attempts to clamber into Qui-Gon's robes and maybe onto his shoulders is thwarted by the fact that Qui-Gon's massive hands are cupping Obi-Wan's tiny squishy cheeks. He stares at the initiate for a few minutes with an intensity that is starting to worry people.
Finally, "You're so small." Qui-Gon sounds like he might cry.
'What the fuck?' Plo Koon projects at Mace.
"I'm 9! That tends to be the case!" the child chirps back.
"You're nine." Oh. Ah. Qui-Gon's eyes are distinctively misty. He squishes the boy in a hug so hard he squeaks. Mace makes a series of gestures that imply the need for a head-scan. Depa obligingly drifts off towards the halls. Qui-Gon scoops the child up onto his hip and claims him as his padawan on the spot. The assorted council members and creche-masters burst into noise. Mace tells Depa to bring some space ibuprofen as well.
after Naboo?
Anakin is a little apprehensive of his place in both the order and Obi-Wan's life, but then one day Obi-Wan wakes up and is suddenly a lot less sad in the force?? In fact, if Anakin didn't know better he'd say he was almost giddy, but he's watched Obi-Wan try to pretend his world hasn't fallen apart for the past few months so it can't be that, right? And um, Miss Bant? He knows grief is a funny thing that affects people differently but he's pretty sure 'massive mood swing' and 'having full conversations with invisible people' is not...great? and you said to tell you if Obi-Wan got really weird in any way.
Anyway after a lot of medical exams, intense consultation with the archives, and a couple exorcisms, Anakin ends up being raised by his 'real' master and his ghost master. He is far more well adjusted emotionally and far less well adjusted for what counts as normal people behavior(not talking to thin air). When questioned on this, all he ever says is that he's talking to Qui-Gon. Isn't he...dead? Well, yes. Wait, he's a ghost? Ghosts are real? ...Well this ghost is real.
This starts a great number of existential crises among non-force sensitives and incredibly heated theological arguments amongst the Jedi. Whenever Obi-Wan is questioned on this, all he ever says is some variation of "the force got to know him for 5 seconds and kicked him back out." Mace backs him up on this even though that reasoning is technically blasphemous. Qui-Gon is having the time of his un-life. He's ascended to his final form, his sheer existence is a heresy, this is truly all he has ever aspired towards.
the Clone Wars?
The minute they get dropped back Qui-Gon immediately goes and haunts the shit out of Dooku. They have a signed terms of surrender and promise of info on the Sith Lord within the year. Only half of it is because Qui-Gon's giving Dooku complexes that are only perceptible to shrimp, the other half is because they now have a ghost spy that is not bound by the laws of physics nor spacetime.
Obi-Wan only nominally pays attention to this as he immediately goes and implements his 19 step seduction plan with Cody (he had to focus on something on Tatooine to pass the time). It fails. Spectacularly. Publicly. Ah right. Tatooine was not exactly the height of his sanity. Everyone in the GAR and temple is now riveted by High General and Councilor Obi-Wan Kenobi's attempts to go on a date with his Commander, who bats him away him like a particularly annoying stray and seems one bouquet of cactus away from committing mutiny. Anakin is worrying if it means his master knows about his secret marriage and this is some sort of really weird power play. (It is, but not in the way he thinks)
The next time Dooku goes after Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon spends a good few months appearing tear-stained at the edge of Dooku's perception and only communicating in terrible wails and discordant mutterings of 'padawan. my padawan. my little one.' 24/7.
"Wait, you're annoying Dooku into surrendering?"
"Oh no Anakin, we're crushing his psyche like a bug. :)"
top five most important things you can give a character. 1. bisexuality. 2. autism. 3. so much negative rizz it loops around into irresistibility. 4. so many bad events. 5. a coping mechanism that’s cute and silly provided you don’t think about it too hard
Interviewer: So, how would you describe your relationship with your Jedi?
Rex: *long, long, long, long sigh* Idiot siblings.
Cody: don't get me started
Rex: to clarify, I'm not the idiot.
Colt: *wordlessly pulls up sleeve to reveal "I-heart-Mom" tattoo on his bicep*
Cody: I have sympathy for Rex because Skywalker just DOES things but Kenobi, he, he thinks things through, and then he STILL does those things even if they're HORRIBLE IDEAS—
Fox: *chugs coffee, slams cup down so hard it breaks* bold of you to assume I have a Jedi
Gree: Not family, but definitely close friends.
Cody: —reckless, ridiculously self-sacrificing, no regard for his own safety—
Grey, dead serious, no hesitation: caleb is my son
Whatever clones are in Master Tapal's battalion: *chanting, one of them holds Cal up like Simba* BABY BOY BABY BOY BABY BOY
Cody: —can't even leave him alone for two minutes because he goes and loses his lightsaber in the middle of a battle—
Ponds: I'd like to say we're blood-brothers bound through the heat of battle because that sounds neat, but honestly, Master Windu and I, we're—we're fire-forged coworkers.
Wolffe: I can neither confirm nor deny that I bought Master Plo a Galaxy's Best Dad mug
Cody, staring vacantly into space: I'm so underpaid
Bly: no comment
This is an accurate representation of what Fighter’s single brain cell was going through during this whole thing
BEWARE: Here is the land of Asian BL/GL dramas with a spattering of Western shows!
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