Reblog If You’re A Safe Place For:

Nat:Y/n, peter. What is the the meaning of this ridiculous high pitch scream? I see no blood.

Karen: your stupid reckless little ones just hit my angel hunter in the face with a snowball

Hunter: *wines*

Nat: and your name is?

Karen: Karen

Nat: ah Y/n peter you have exactly one opportunity to tell me what happened to hunter

Y/n: simple peter and i had constructed bunckers on either side of field

Peter: and we blow air horn as to warn other children this was now hotspot and epic snowbattle was about to commence

Y/n: in heat of snow ball battle with peter and i hunter snuck passed our barriers and simply og hit by crossfire

Nat: simple explanation your child is incompetent

Karen: you little monsters. So your just rising future criminals

Nat: i think only crime here is naming your son hunter. Should be pylon or sitting duck

Karen: you know what

Nat: waht you going to do karen teres no managers out her

Vision: Hello

Darcy: You're okay! How are you even here?!

Vision: What do you mean?

Darcy: I mean you die-

Wanda: - NOPE!

Wanda: Never happened!

Darcy: But...-

Wanda: NOPE!

Wanda: Eventhing is fine. Vision is fine! Nothing bad ever happened! EVER!

Ok but can we look at how support the mum is and how happy he is to find out he's a dad???

why is the metal community so pressed abt this it’s literally hilarious. 10/10. love it. i want it.

Shu: (freezing) it's kinda cold

Yuma: here take my jacket

Shu: I love you

Yuma: god we are such the... perfect couple (looks at Subaru)

Kou: I'm cold too

Subaru: well damn kou I can't control the weather

Y/n: so if you were in this age group you are most likely to experience a serious violent crime: 10-12, 13-16, 18-21, 15-18

Loki: 10-12

Y/n: no its 18-21

Loki: clearly this is not based off my life

Y/n: yeah im not going to open that can of worms

Bonus :

Y/n: you next.

Nat: alright shoot

Y/n: men in this state statistically buy small sized protection: Pennsylvania, Kentucky,

Nat: Missisipi

Y/n: i didnt even-

Y/n: thats right

Nat: i knew it

Loki: now that is a can of worms i would like to open

Game Night #2

Peter: Green, "give this card to who ever you least want to fight"

Nat: give me card

Peter: ok....

Sam: yell the first word that comes to mind

Y/n: DADDY!!

*bucky: looks at Y/n*

Y/n: i meant bucky

Peter: Mr. Pool what sexuality are you?

Deadpool: Sexual.

Peter: what???

Deadpool: Sexual.

Things Bucky says while he is eating you out (Bucky x female reader)

18+ only, Minors DNI

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“You taste so fucking good baby”

“You are so wet for me honey”

“Gonna eat you till you cry sweetheart”

“Gushing for me baby, gonna make you cum so hard”

“Thats it princess, open that pussy up for me”

“You are the sweetest thing I have tasted all day”

“Wanna suck on your pretty clit baby”

“Eyes on me honey, need to see your eyes while my tongue is inside”

“Wanna hear you sweetheart, need to hear those pretty moans while I’m eating you”

“Fuck yes princess, fuck that pussy into my mouth”

“Please baby, need to taste you again, please let me taste you”

“Ass up sugar, I wanna eat you from behind”

“Not yet baby, need to make you cum on my tongue again”

“Making my beard so wet gorgeous, gonna smell like you all day”

“Fuck baby can’t get enough of this pussy”

“Thats it honey, ride my fucking tongue”

“Nothing tastes as good as you baby”

“Use my mouth honey, my mouth is yours, my tongue is yours”

“Love it when you cum hard on my tongue beautiful”

“Please baby I need it, I need your cum in my mouth”

“One more gorgeous, one more on daddy’s tongue”

“Mmmmmm yes baby, fuck, don’t stop cumming for me, gonna swallow all that cum”

“Fuck yes sweetheart, love seeing those eyes rolling back with my tongue deep inside”

“Feed me my pussy baby, give it to me”

Y/n: so when you finish training in America they give you a trash can lid?

Steve: shut up.

Y/n: are you the only one with a trash can lid?