Peter: Mr. Pool What Sexuality Are You?

Ok but can we look at how support the mum is and how happy he is to find out he's a dad???

why is the metal community so pressed abt this it’s literally hilarious. 10/10. love it. i want it.

Bucky and steve: *in a hot tub*

Perter & Shuri: Two bros chilling in a hot tube five feet apart cuz they're not gay!

Tony & T'achalla:...

Hydra: hello mr. Barnes we're going to take your arm off.

Bucky: i think i just need help.

Hydra: give you cool robot arm

Nat:Y/n, peter. What is the the meaning of this ridiculous high pitch scream? I see no blood.

Karen: your stupid reckless little ones just hit my angel hunter in the face with a snowball

Hunter: *wines*

Nat: and your name is?

Karen: Karen

Nat: ah Y/n peter you have exactly one opportunity to tell me what happened to hunter

Y/n: simple peter and i had constructed bunckers on either side of field

Peter: and we blow air horn as to warn other children this was now hotspot and epic snowbattle was about to commence

Y/n: in heat of snow ball battle with peter and i hunter snuck passed our barriers and simply og hit by crossfire

Nat: simple explanation your child is incompetent

Karen: you little monsters. So your just rising future criminals

Nat: i think only crime here is naming your son hunter. Should be pylon or sitting duck

Karen: you know what

Nat: waht you going to do karen teres no managers out her

Vision: Hello

Darcy: You're okay! How are you even here?!

Vision: What do you mean?

Darcy: I mean you die-

Wanda: - NOPE!

Wanda: Never happened!

Darcy: But...-

Wanda: NOPE!

Wanda: Eventhing is fine. Vision is fine! Nothing bad ever happened! EVER!

Bucky: sorry im late i was doing things...

Sam: *out of breath* HE PUSHED ME DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS!!!!

Bucky: push is such a strong word, i prefer to call it "giving you a little nudge"

Sam: oh I'll give you "a little nudge" WHEN I SHOVE MY FOOT UP YOUR ARSE!

Bucky: HEY! Watch your fucking language infront of the captain

Steve:....

Bucky: this is so dumb

Sam: the higher i am the better i can see

Bucky: you can- you can fly

Sam: hush now bucky i am searching

Y/n: so if you were in this age group you are most likely to experience a serious violent crime: 10-12, 13-16, 18-21, 15-18

Loki: 10-12

Y/n: no its 18-21

Loki: clearly this is not based off my life

Y/n: yeah im not going to open that can of worms

Bonus :

Y/n: you next.

Nat: alright shoot

Y/n: men in this state statistically buy small sized protection: Pennsylvania, Kentucky,

Nat: Missisipi

Y/n: i didnt even-

Y/n: thats right

Nat: i knew it

Loki: now that is a can of worms i would like to open

Yoga instructeur: release on the sounds trapped in your mind

Bucky, wanda: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Y/N: natty can i jump off the roof into the pool

Natasha: Y/N no

Y/N: why?

Nataha: because it's very dangerous

Y/N: BUT I WANNA

Natasha: ok brake your neck and drown i dont giva shit..