I Am Doing This Because I Can

Sometimes I wonder if I’m actually autistic or if I’m making it up, but just now I hovered my cursor over the red bar on YouTube, and I very literally and physically felt the left side of my head buzz when the cursor was on the left side, and I was shivering until I put the cursor on the right side to balance it out, and only when I put the cursor in the middle did both sides of my head buzz at an equal frequency. Which I don’t think is normal.

I love my friends. I love them all so much. They make me so happy, and they make life seem like a wonder. I spent time with them yesterday and it really made me feel so much better about myself, and we got to talk and laugh and hug. I just really love my friends. I never thought this would be possible. Five years ago I thought I would be dead before I ever got to college and yet here I am, living and loving. It’s all for them. It’s all because of them 💜

I’m trying to write a character that has a crush on their friend, but writing about someone having a crush is just so. . . cringey. It comes off insincere and shallow, and I just keep sitting here like “my friends are spending time on this?” Maybe it’s just because I don’t know how it feels, but this is just so awkward and I hate it.

Midoriya, barely conscious while healing in a hospital: UA. . . can you even imagine it?

Bakugo: We go to school at UA, Deku. We live there.

Midoriya: Oh.

Midoriya: . . .

Midoriya: But can you imagine it?

I finished Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo at one this morning, and wow, what a ride. That money was well spent. I will have to bide my time before I can go raid another bookstore.

nvm I found some good fanfics

I haven’t had a good long cry in a while and it’s annoying me. I need a fictional thing to lose my heart to.

My anxiety: Your friend thinks you’re annoying and she doesn’t like you.

Me: *mentally beating my anxiety with a baseball bat* she loves me so shut the McFRICK up you BI-

I see your "Kaveh gets hurt and Alhaitham is forced to face his feelings and confesses before it's too late", but I raise you: "Alhaitham gets hurt and confesses because he's too out of it to have the filter that's usually keeping him from complimenting Kaveh at every turn"

last night I saw a character that was so hot that I had to go to sleep about it

I just remembered that time I went to ask my economics teacher a question about the homework and stopped mid-sentence because I noticed Jensen Ackles was on his computer and I was like “oh hey it’s that dude” but then Jared Padalecki showed up and then I realised he was watching Supernatural