Friendly Reminder That You Don’t Owe Anyone Here A Debate.

crazy to me how some people think conversion torture/forced detransition is actually a privilege when it happens to trans men/mascs

I hope it's okay for me to send this ask-

I just kinda generally wanted to talk about how I ended up kinda coming to terms with exclusionists existing, and yet managing to just pay them no mind. The first time I met an exclusionist was, surprisingly enough, in real life. This one was all about denying the need for the pansexual label, as well as a very strong hatred for ace people. I really don't wanna get in detail, but it was my first time meeting someone who had so much vitriol for other people within the community. It was a pretty important part of his personality, truthfully.

Then, over time, it kinda became obvious to me that he was kinda doing it as an attempt to... Redirect the attention elsewhere? He had done a lot of harm to other people, in ways that he couldn't really argue well about (not wanna get into detail, but there was some grooming involved). Part of how he tried to cover that up was just to find another topic to be loud about, rallying people together in a specific type of hatred and becoming a big name within the community through his stupid little war against ace and pan people. When you tried to kinda bring up that he had done some really bad stuff that he wasn't even sorry about, he'd just claim you were trying to undermine his point.

Thankfully, over time, people did end up realizing he was pretty abusive, and neither ace nor pan exclusionism stuck around much within the community, and he eventually lost his power and voice. And it kinda gave me the perspective that, well. Of course not all exclusionists (of any kind- let it be against ace folk, transmasc folk, etc) are necessarily doing it as a redirection thing, but a lot of them are. You can quite literally prove some of the current transmasc hating people on this site having called for the death of minorities or having sent death threats to other folk, but if you do bring it up, they will often just try to redirect any accusation with "you are doing this because you [hate this group]" or "you are doing this because you're against [this one specific ideology]"

All in all, people who spend most of their time obsessively hating some other people who don't pose any major danger to them tend to just not be worth the time. Seeing exclusionist movements come and go, seeing the people leading them lose their relevancy once people come up to terms with the exclusionism being stupid, it's all reassuring. This will also pass. I hope that the few loud voices that wanna open massive divides between trans folk will, sooner than later, fall into the same irrelevancy than those that came before them have fallen into.

this is reassuring, thank you for this ask anon

holy shit y’all should watch this one, what an admirable person

Whenever I see people talking about trans men not being oppressed, I remember that video I saw a few years back when an older trans woman was asked why there weren't more trans men from her generation and she said they were still forced into the roles of women and took their own lives because of it.

I’m sorry , but where the hell did people hear that ‘theyfab’ originated as a term to ‘call out transmisogynistic afab nonbinary people’ 😭.

It’s from 4chan . It’s from /tttt .

'Theyfab' was made to mock afab nonbinary ppl that they labeled as 'trenders' because they think being nonbinary was made up by 'white girls who want to be quirky'.

The term 'Theymad' is used to - to a much lesser extent then theyfab - and it's used to mock amab nonbinary people for either being 'closeted trans women' or for being 'femboys in denial'.

This isn't hate mail this is love mail but most times when I see stuff about this trans infighting the transfems are usually posed against transmascs. It's understandable as theres bad apples on both sides and im not surprised people run to protect their own, but I'm incredibly glad to see a trans feminine person advocating against this infighting and for ALL trans unity. I hate to see transmascs bully transfems even though it could be self defense, and vice versa. It feels like all huge trans bloggers both men and women have this idea that we must all hate each other so it's good to see a blog promote positivity on BOTH ends. thank you for fighting for us transmascs, and as a transmasc I need to work harder on ignoring the divisive posts and focusing on fighting for my sisters too. The world is a scary place and we need to be together more than ever before.

I love all my trans siblings and will do my best to defend every single one.

god i love being an intersex trans woman. i love that being a woman doesn't invalidate that i'm also a man. i can be a wo/man. im glad i can be a butch woman. im glad i can be a genderqueer woman. i'm so glad to be able to express myself as a woman with a beard and deep voice. im glad i can just be a woman however i want to. women don't have to conform to any norm. women are allowed to be diverse. women are allowed to break gender expectations. women are allowed to fuck with gender. god i love womanhood. i was taught to hate it but i've learned to love it. i love being a woman

I think a lot of hate towards transmascs for speaking about their experiences come from a place of misinformation and unwillingness to listen

I see so much of “Transandrophobia is about reinforcing the patriarchy” and “Transandrophobia is the belief that trans women oppress trans men!” when all of that is just simply not true

It doesn’t take much to actually look at posts in the Transandrophobia tag to see that, no, we do not thinks trans women oppress us and, no, we are not supporting the patriarchy , or whatever lie people have come to believe, and yeah some people in the tag are shitty to transfems, but that’s not everyone and that it not what we are trying to talk about. There are shitty people in every community unfortunately

If maybe people stopped taking other people speaking as a threat to them and actually took a moment to listen, instead of just jumping to conclusions, it would be a lot easier to see that the whole concept of Transandrophobia/trans misandry/ whatever you want to call it is actually just transmascs talking about their experiences.