Despite Going To The Doctor Way Too Often There Are Still So Many Things Wrong That I Don't Even Know

everytime i am out of a flare i convince myself i am usually dramatic and this won't impact my life in any significant way in the future... then the next flare is coming up and changes my mind real quick

me: "i'm so fatigued and my brain fog is pretty bad"

healthy person: "stop complaining, i'm tired too"

your "tired" is not the same as my fatigued! sleep won't cure me, this is not how it works!

so my school decided cause there were too many absences last year to note it on report cards which is whatever BUT they are gonna make a special note about it if you miss over 12 hours (even if it's excused, which is btw less time than i spent at hospitals the last month) so no matter what happens basically you have to go which is dumb

first of all i think doctors notes should completely excuse it because then it wasn't just staying at home for fun... also my school is the only one doing it in this region so only we will have disadventages when applying to university and yk how little 12 hours are? shit happens, like so many things can happen that you have no control over

a teacher offered to try to find a solution for me which i am thankfull for, but also this isn't only about me:

"oh but it probably won't affect you" i don't care it's still unfair

playing a fun game of anxiety or new chronic illness symptom

overdid it today... will suffer the consequences later

just bonded with someone over the fact that both of our bodies seem to hate us

i need to lay in bed for a week to make up for one day i overdid it

wishing my chronic illness would take the day off on busy days

hypothetically in how much pain would i have to be in order for it to be okay to tell people to fuck off? because i am close

i really respect people that say "oh i wouldn't wish this on anyone else" about their chronic illness because I WOULD

(unfortunately i might have become a little bitter, but i'm working on it)