Oh Dear God Chrome..... I Swear For Chrismas I'm Getting You Something So That You Don't End Up Cutting

Yesterday was the one year anniversary of my mom being able to quit smoking!!! FUCK YEAH!!!!

". . . You need to do better make-up" "Bitch! You need to hide your chest or else it'll be clear you're a lady!" *they help each other hide and the guy's gay while the girl's a lesbian :3*

A princess who is going to be in an arranged marriage runs away. She cuts her hair and pretends to be a man. However, she runs into the prince who was going to get married to her. He also ran away, and he is pretending to be a woman. They instantly recognize each other.

As a bisexual, I hope it's a hot princess

As a princess, you've been kidnapped by all manner of people; dragons, wizards, other kings—it's just part of the job description. But never before have you been kidnapped by... another princess?

BITCH I'M TOUCHING

“These specimens have been conditioned for contact. They’re safe. But if you see them in the wild, DO NOT approach. It’s very dangerous.” “Why? Are they aggressive?” “No, they’re extremely friendly and very playful. That’s why it’s dangerous.”

I look like a fucking man

I'm not gonna sugar coat it!!!!!

you're very beautiful.

and yeah,

you're gonna have to deal with that for the rest of your life

Me: *looks at Genie laws* Huh.... Okay looks like it's allowed. Master: I'm a lawyer Me: That explains it.

You are a genie. Predictably, your latest master uses their first wish to wish for infinite wishes, but you tell them you’re unable to give infinite wishes. What you didn’t expect was that they would instead use their first wish to wish that you were able to give infinite wishes.

You need to sleep too b00ty boy! Now go to be or else I'll use the power of god and anime!

You're not the only one with insomnia, right?

Me and Leon are hashtag twinning with insomnia 💥

I just mash the buttons and somehow won against my cousin who knew the game better than I did

T0T and I don't want to watch the anime Bleach, give me something else

So I just had to block something. I think it was a bot account. I reported it because it was something sexual. Yeah. Why is this allowed on tumblr???? I know people make horny posts about ocs and characters, I'm not judging that, but What I'm judging is literally posting a picture of your naked ass boobs on tumblr. I looked at my notfications and when I saw the profile picture, I clicked on the blog so that I could block it. I ask anyone who sees those kinds of blogs to block and report them.

Wait! So I don't get laid?! That's not gonna work for me! . . . Oh! I married an Asexual. I don't have to have sex. (this is meant as a joke and also HAPPY PRIDE TO MY LOVELY ACE PEOPLE!)

Writing Prompt: A mysterious book appears on your doorstep. Every time you open it, a different story from your future is revealed. You might make discoveries, have to face decisions, and even learn how parts of your future affect your present actions.