Im Still Hoping Its You And Me In The End.

and when he looks at me, fuck, i just lose it every time.

12:34 (via heartacxe)

I hate the “get out of your comfort zone” sentiment because firstly fuck you for assuming everyone has a comfort zone, it’s an idea created in comfortable and privileged environment and cannot apply to survival type lives, I am trying to keep myself in the zone of “discomfort I can survive” and only other zone I can go to is “discomfort that will make me suicidal in 10 seconds or less” and i’m not risking my life for that shit, secondly it’s implying that already overwhelmed people don’t have the right to feel comfortable, and if they work towards feeling comfortable they’re doing the wrong thing, and it’s been enough of that, all of you, every person on this planet has the right to feel comfortable, and should work towards that first, and god knows if i ever find a place i feel comfortable in i will never ever leave

the sad thing is, is that this whole time that I’ve been missing you, I probably haven’t even crossed your mind

that doesn’t make me miss you any less (via bluerainjacket)

“Nothing is harder than trying to find a reasonable answer to why my grades are falling. Nothing has been harder to me than trying to find a way to explain why I have no motivation. Don’t talk to me about challenging until you can sit in your room with everything you need to succeed but not feel the motivation to do any of it. I feel nothing and I don’t know how to stop it. Nothing has been harder for me than trying to force myself to care. I don’t know how to be what you want. I’m just trying to get through one day at a time. I can’t just change how I feel. I can’t just make it go away. It’s always going to be there. So I’m sorry I’m not succeeding. I’m sorry I’m not good enough. But you know what? I don’t think i ever will be. Because what you want is someone without scars and without pain. You want a daughter who doesn’t struggle and just does the right thing. That’s not me. I can’t just be perfect. I’m fighting this battle everyday to not put a blade to my skin, to not crash the car, to keep on living. But it’s not getting better and I dont know how to tell you in a way that you will understand”

— A second letter to my mom for the reasons why

Me, clearly traumatized: yeah, but like, what if I’m faking it??? Like, what if it’s not real???

Do you know what I hate most about abuse? It makes you “crazy”. It makes you angry and tearful and volatile. And that in and of itself leads people to dismiss your story when you say you have been abused. They use your unstable emotions as an excuse not to believe you or to say that it’s at least partially your fault. It seems like almost nobody but other survivors stop to wonder how you got that way to begin with

“i am slowly forgetting your smell, the sound of your steps, and the hand motions you make while talking but i’m so sure, whenever i’ll see you again, i’ll recognise these immediately and it’ll feel like coming home after a long tiring day.”

— long distance.

You ever convince yourself that you’re so annoying that you’re not allowed to post anything or text anyone because it’s so annoying and by some weird logic you convince yourself that even writing down your feelings is annoying so you feel like you’re collapsing in on yourself and you feel so awful and trapped and alone? because mood.

We were young when we fell in love, I didn’t know how to love you the way you should of been, I was a storm and it destroyed you in the process, and I’m very sorry that I did. The years went by and you’re still on my mind, me that used to be a storm subsided, and I wish now I could give you the love you deserve.