The Sad Thing Is, Is That This Whole Time That I’ve Been Missing You, I Probably Haven’t Even Crossed

Old people can"t understand when younger people are willing to cut a whole relative off. They have lived their entire lives in guilt or based on some sense of loyalty to someone based on blood. People will abuse you betting on that fact, just because ya’ll are blood that means you have to accept it. No, you don’t.

on the bright side, at least my debilitating fear of abandonment will never leave me

PSA

telling your neurodivergent/mentally ill kid:

“you can’t do anything right without your meds”

“you’ll never amount to anything without your meds”

“i like you better on your meds”

“you’re stupid without your meds”

“you embarass me off your meds”

“you’re too embarassing to be seen in public without your meds"

“no one could ever want to be your friend without your meds”

“the meds must be working because you accomplished something”

“the meds are working because you’re quieter”

is EXACTLY THE SAME as telling them:

“you can’t do anything right”

“you’ll never amount to anything”

“i don’t like you”

“you’re stupid”

“i’m ashamed of you”

“you’re too embarrassing to be in public, i’m embarassed to be seen with you”

“no one could ever want to be your friend”

“you didn’t earn your accomplishments”

and “i wish you didn’t exist, so at least be quiet so i can pretend you don’t"

PASS IT ON

(this is not directed at anyone who chooses to take medication, this is about parents/siblings/ect. who talk to ppl this way)

Friend break up...

Friend break ups are worse than breaking up with someone that you were in a relationship with. This break up was like you are all ok one day and then there becomes this tension between the 2 of you, and then the other party just stops talking and becomes savage towards you. And so they eventually stop talking and it just kind of takes that part of your heart and makes it like it never existed in the first place. You know exactly why you ache, but also know that there will be no way of getting that piece of your heart back. Those are the worst kind of break ups.

Abusive parents don’t ALWAYS seem abusive. Sometimes they can be sweet.

You need to remember that just because they were sweet once they aren’t good people.

They still hurt you. They still did awful things, said awful things.

Your abuse is no less valid because your abuser can seem nice from time to time.

I keep thinking that maybe someday you’ll fall in love with me. That maybe I’ll say or do something that suddenly makes you realise that you’ve always loved me. It’s stupid. I should know better by now. Yet I keep hoping for a fairy tale ending anyway.

if only my brain is louder than my heart (2)  (via unconventionalbuthappy)

We were young when we fell in love, I didn’t know how to love you the way you should of been, I was a storm and it destroyed you in the process, and I’m very sorry that I did. The years went by and you’re still on my mind, me that used to be a storm subsided, and I wish now I could give you the love you deserve.

STOP SCROLLING FOR A SEC

this is for all of you feeling guilt or regret

every single person has said and done things they regret or feel guilty about

and we think about it a lot and beat ourselves up over it

but what does that accomplish?

we can’t just pull a time machine out of our ass and go back in time and change the past

what’s said is said and what’s done is done

the fact that you are feeling guilty about it shows that you are a truly good person that knows right from wrong

there is nothing you can do to change the past, so you just have to move on

everybody makes mistakes, and then we learn from them

that’s just how life goes

live in the present. because that’s all you can do for the time being

now stop feeling regret and guilt, and go live your life

you’re doing amazing, and you are doing the best you can. stop being so hard on yourself all the time

we’re all just human after all.

I think the most surreal thing I’ve ever experienced is my abuser actually becoming pretty normal. It’s the weirdest thing.

On one hand, you’re happy that they won’t hurt people. You’re happy that they’ve learnt to manage their emotions. You’re happy that some of the fear of seeing them is lifted off your shoulders. But at the same time, you are so angry. You are traumatized already. It’s just more proof they they can move on while you’re stuck here. The have DESTROYED you, and now you don’t even have someone to be mad at. Or at least you’ll always feel a little guilty that you resent them. They might not yell at you, or call you fat, stupid, worthless, manipulate you, threaten you… but everyday they’re hurting you. And they always will be.

But they get to be recover. They get to be forgiven -And they genuinely have changed… maybe they’re even sorry for how they treated you. But they can form normal relationships. They can cope. They can move on.

But it’s so much harder for you.