It Hurts How Relatable This Is

Me at an outing: Hello there, how do you feel about [thing I like]?

Other person: I quite vehemently dislike [thing]

Me again, hurriedly placing sticks of baked bread in my knapsack: I must abscond from this unfavorable situation immediately

RATTLESNAKE (a short)

me in one sentence

Yeah bro hit me up we’ll cancel some plans sometime

they called them DIY, but they were difficult to do yourself, they called them lifehacks, but they didn't make anyone's life easier, they called them 5 minute crafts, but they took extended periods of time to do

now i propose they call them CTSO videos, which stands for "Check That Shit Out" videos. no expectations. no standards. "this dude just made a windmill out of old dog toys i can't do that!" no one asked you to. just watch him do his thing. Check That Shit Out. "somebody just covered a toothpick with 48 layers of flex seal spray to make it a giant toothpick and i don't have nearly enough time for that." who asked if you had time. you aren't doing it. Check That Shit Out. "why did i just watch a video of somebody line up 30 gummi bears and then melt them with a blowtorch and then dip the congealed mess into maple syrup and then put it inside their air conditioning unit?" oh there was absolutely no reason. they didn't need a reason to do that. Check That Shit Out

how the academic year generally progresses

september: i got this

october: OH FUC K

november: I DO NoT GOT THIS

This part, where Harry asks Luna to Prof. Slughorns party is one of my favourite. Because being invited somewhere as a friend is great and important - not a disappointment, as it is often made out to be.

"What were you wearing?"

I wore a red dress to work today. It has a zipper at either side of my chest that can unzip and reveal a thin strip of skin. A coworker, without warning, tried pulling at the zipper and when it wouldn’t zip, instead revealed a good portion of my collarbone and shoulder as well as my bra strap. An hour later, the same coworker came up and told me to not wear clothes with zippers because he’ll go right ahead and unzip them. I shot back that unzipping me without my permission is sexual harassment. Apparently a manager heard and berated my coworker. At the end of my shift, my coworker told me that my little comment got him in trouble and that he no longer feels comfortable saying anything to me other than “hello” and “goodbye.”

I am supposed to feel guilty for pointing out that he can’t lay his fucking hands on me.

Saw a lot of little Falcons and Falconettes this weekend. Thank u guys for keepin the streets safe! #littlefalconrocks

Nosy boy wants attention but remains polite