Chuuya: *talking To Dazai On The Phone* Stop Fucking With Fyodor, He May End Up Catching You.

Nikolai: *Finishes brutally murdering someone* And yet I still feel nothing. *Eye twitches*

"Goodness this room is covered in blood. That was from one body?!"

Part 2 of Ignis in horror lands

“There better be vegetables served with that human flesh!”

“Get that arm out of your mouth! You don’t know where that has been!”

“For a second I thought you were Gladio”

“Prompto would be fine here since he’s still a virgin.”

“Why would I walk through a dark corridor with no flashlight I’m not insane.”

“Yes, let’s split up good idea. We can cover more ground with our blood that way.”

(If you have any ideas post them!“

*ignis enters the room*

Prompto: I SWEAR TO THE ASTRALS NOCT! I WILL SHOVE A CARROT UP YOUR ASS!

Ignis: I have no idea what is going on or why you are threatening the prince but please keep in mind that, that is not a healthy nor safe way to get Noct to eat his vegetables.

First thing I see when I open my app

fyodor’s deathniversary

Come October I will be making incorrect quotes for spooky month.

Also not putting many tags on this. Don’t wanna bug people when they search for a character.

~Kira~

Gladio: what are you two watching?

Noctis: a movie about a man in a fedora chasing after a group of young people making their dreams into nightmares.

Gladio: didn't know they made a movie about Ardyn.

Fyodor: I am a man of benevolence.

Sigma: *backs away*

Fyodor: What are you doing?

Sigma: Getting as far away from you as I can before you get smote…

Noctis: I killed someone!

Prompto: What?! Noct that's illegal! We have to run away!

Gladio: if anyone asks we just tell them the empire made a clone of Noct and framed him.

Ignis: *pulls out a map with a bunch of red circles* We can dump the body here. No one will know. Leave the evidence to me I've done this before.

Noctis: .....

Prompto: *whispers to Noctis* I think Iggy has killed other people....

Atsushi: Akutagawa! I got you some chocolates! I thought you would like them.

Akutagawa: I don’t want chocolates from you! *throws them in the river*

Atsushi: I could have had them!

Akutagawa: *looking at the chocolates then back at him*

Atsushi: You did want those, didn’t you?

Akutagawa: *nods*

I'm glad you liked the idea

Here is a trap idea for Gladio. Lock him in a room filled with his worst fears then have a video feed of a room full of cup noodles. Tell him if he wants out he will have to burn all of the noodles.

Noctis: Oooooh, good stuff minion. I’m gonna do that. *looks at Ignis* Start buying the noodles!

Ignis: *sighs* Very well.

*After setting everything up and shoving Gladio in the room*

Prompto: *walks in to find Noctis eating cup noodles while watching a computer screen* Hey buddy, what’s up?

Noctis: *slurps noodle* Not much, torturing Gladdy.

Prompto: I think Iris mentioned you doing that. How’s it going for you?

Noctis: Pretty good I wager, he’s been there for about two hours now.

Prompto: *looks at screen and notices Gladio looking directly at the camera* I can’t hear him, what’s he saying?

Noctis: Different variations of the same thing. *unmutes the sound*

Gladiolus: FUCK YOU NOCTIS!! FUCK YOU TO THE LOWEST PITS OF WHATEVER HELL YOU RULE!!! WHEN I GET OUT, I’M GOING TO FIND A RUSTED SWORD AND SHOVE IT RIGHT UP YOUR-

Noctis: *mutes the sound again and huffs* How many times do I have to tell him, I’m not a demon.

Prompto: Not the maddest I’ve heard him but it’s up there.

Noctis: Yeah, It got pretty boring hearing him say that stuff after the first 30 minutes so now I’m just watching on mute as he freaks out.

Prompto: Clever idea though.

Noctis: I know. I wonder how Clarry would react to something like this?

—

*with Clarus*

—

Clarus: Death is looming over me.

Regis: So long as it’s not me.