Fyodor: I Am A Man Of Benevolence.

Okay?

Person: Does your terrorist organization have an HR?

Sigma: We have an entire HR department for one man.

Nikolai: ….Is this because of last night?

Cat week, day 3, Leash cats, Headcanons

As mentioned on day one, the following cats are used to walking on a leash. Now here is how they behave while walking outside. (I didn’t mention Ardyn as a leash cat but, can any of you imagine him in a tiny box not making a fuss?)

Cor - Cor goes on a leash because he broke two boxes already - And the vet told you to get a leash for him after he broke theirs - He was easy to get used to the leash - Likes the freedom to walk and not suffer in the little space - Looks out the window during car rides - If necessary, he’s even chill with trains - But only if the train is there while you arrive - He gets startled half to death because trains tend to squeak when coming to a halt - You found out when you had to take him somewhere and your cat spontaneously clawed its way up to your shoulder - He’s well-behaved on a leash - But no touching

Luna - First of all, she hurt herself inside boxes - Every time she got out of the box, she was hurt - So, again, the vet said to get her a leash - It’s a neat white leash with little accessories no one cares about - Besides the catastrophe that is catching her, she is actually a well-behaved cat - She doesn’t struggle, won’t try to bite the leash - She got used to it pretty fast - Though she still isn’t fond of it - Yes she walks beside you and occasionally allows little kids to pet her, but that’s just to distract you from the thought of having to catch her again for her next vet appointment

Prompto - Little goofball doesn’t like boxes because he can’t touch you while trapped - The leash is his favorite - He’s got a yellow one with some sort of duck printed on - Prompto actually wants to go outside with you - He’ll meow sitting in front of the shelf with the leash - Maybe it’s because he doesn’t know he can go outside without you - Or because he just wants to spend time with you alone - But Prompto is the most excited about his leash - Because he knows you’ll be close to him - He’s the vet’s favorite - Never makes a fuss - Brave little kitten - Though he did puke onto them that one time

Gladio - He didn’t want to stay in the transportation box - Honestly, he needed one for dogs because of his height - Gladiolus is, well, Gladiolus - He doesn’t do tiny spaces - But put a leash on him and he’s the boss - He tries pulling into directions he wants to go - Don’t bring him to public transportation - Yes, he will get lots of attention - But you won’t want to get pulled over to every kid he finds worthy - Worthy of petting him - He’s a brat

Ignis - If he isn’t sick, he’s walking on his leash - Not saying that Ignis is trying to troll you - Just saying he will randomly climb up a tree - Or lay down so you’ll stop - Ignis is a nice cat - But he also likes to tease you - He is okay with kids touching his head - But nothing else - Get ready for him going nuts when he smells food - Ignis loves food - And he will do everything to see what smells so nice - The vet hates his eating habits - So does your bank account

Noctis - Noctis doesn’t walk on a leash - He’s carried around wearing one - Walking simply isn’t his style - And he hated his box so much he found, and broke it in the middle of the night - Twice - To be fair, he is absolutely calm when you carry him - Or when he’s on the passenger seat - Getting used to the leash wasn’t a problem - But getting used to not being carried around after a trip outside, certainly was

Ardyn - IF you were able to get him on the leash you’re lucky - He won’t make a fuss about it - In fact, he’ll gladly walk next to you - Or watch you drive - He doesn’t have a problem with public transport - Neither does he have a problem with all the attention he gets - He seems to shower in it - All the comments saying how beautiful he is - He’ll even raise his head a little - And meow at certain people - Doesn’t like to be touched though - This cat is such an actor it sometimes hurts

Best Dead Apple Trio

Gaia (my cat) kidnapped Sigma off my bed. I swear if his throat is slit I will cry.

I'm not being helpful by suggesting cannibalization

This is just the soul that haunts me saying this but... wanna make the bodies into food and serve it to random people?

Noctis: Make the dead bodies into food? I am rather interested in this.

Prompto: I know where you left the more recent ones.

Noctis: Grab em, also grab Baby Flower, I know she’ll be mad if we leave her out of something like this.

Prompto: I’m starting to get excited! What should we make?

Noctis, hums: Meat pies, some shredded meat, curry with meat chunks, tacos, sausages, we have a lot to do and bodies to gather, chop chop!

Prompto: Roger, I wonder how people taste like…

Noctis: We’ll get the temptation to find out when we make the stuff.

-(with Regis)-

Regis, begins to shudder: Ifrit is laughing at me, I can feel it.

Clarus, begins to scowl: That son of yours is up to something isn’t he?

Ignis and Prompto look like they're giving the chocobo a pep-talk

ffxv windows edition ↯ ansel

Leander and Kira stuck on a tomb

Leander: this is really romantic actually. You and me alone.

Kira: Okay. I am going to sacrifice you.

Mhin: *on the other side* Not until he pays me first!

Cor: Prompto we need to talk about your problem.

Prompto: *in his pile of chocobo plushies* what problem?

Noctis about Diana

Diana is my age and we went to school together. She became overprotective of Prompto and when this one girl began making fun of him, Dia brought a homemade reverse bear trap from the Saw movies to school and put it on the girl. The class and the girl start panicking and the trap goes off. Turns out it wasn't real but a prop she made and it squirts out this red liquid all over her. The thing dyed her skin red for a month. Cor was watching over Dia and he was not pleased by her action. She was on a month long training punishment with him. Best thing is, the girl left Prompto alone. Also Dia is banned from horror movies due to concern she will do what the killers do so Ignis had to take all of them away. I have them now and I let her watch them since her commentary is amazing!