The Prompto Pile Has Sent Me To Heaven.

Noctis: you're the bad guy. Why are you attractive!?

Ardyn: so I can say this. "Come to the dark side, we have me~"

Funny and/or creepy things Noctis has said.

I should do more funny creepy dialogue more often.

—

Noctis: Oh my god, my dad is coming. Everyone T-pose!

Ignis: Noct-

Noctis: NOW.

—

Noctis: Goddamnit.

Prompto: What?

Noctis: It’s Monday.

—-

Noctis: In this world, it’s fish or be fished.

Ignis: That doesn’t make sense.

Noctis: Fishes like you shouldn’t speak to fisherman like me!

Ignis: Noct.

Noctis: Begone Fishnis! Fishermoctis is on the hunt for Promfish!

Prompto: I’m confused, amused, and a bit unnerved?

—

Noctis: Since you’re all meat and not fat, does that mean if I cut you into thin slices I would feast for weeks?

Gladiolus: Please get that sword away from me.

—

Noctis: Nyx can I eat your hands?

Nyx: Um, no?

Noctis: Fine, your legs. Not like you need them.

Nyx: Uumm, I do?

Noctis: Fine, Earlobe.

Nyx: N- …let me think.

Crowe/Libertus: Nyx!

Nyx: What?

Noctis: Can I eat it or what?

Nyx: Ye- wait, uh No!

Noctis: Assholes.

—

Noctis: Are finger foods made out of fingers?

Ignis: Please put the knife down.

—

Prompto: So Behemoths eat people, so does that mean we’re eating people when we’re eating Behemoths?

Gladiolus: No.

Noctis: Yes.

Gladiolus: Noct, no.

Noctis: Noct, Yes.

Gladiolus: No damnit!

Ignis: Actually, Noctis is correct.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Told you.

—-

Noctis: I don’t like eyeballs, tastes too squishy.

Ignis: Please tell me you’re talking about grapes.

Noctis: What else would I be talking about?

Gladiolus: Stop calling them eyeballs.

Noctis: They look like them so no.

Gladiolus: Good grief.

Noctis: Also because Ignis won’t let me have real eyeballs so grapes at the closest thing I can have.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Give me eyes.

Ignis: Again, no.

—-

Noctis: Ignis is my impulse control, so I’m gonna eat your fingers while he’s gone.

Libertus: I don’t know how I got here but somebody untie me!!

—-

Reblog!

Kuras: *lecturing Mhin and Mc trying to break into the Senobium* You two are going to die if you keep this up

Mc: *not skipping a beat* we’re all gonna die into 60 years or so.

Your username is so real, but can I have a hug from you?

Um sure. *hugs*

There is a spikey thing on his boot!

Awkward Ardyn

Then it gets flagged

has this been done yet

If Ravus Was a Party Member... (Banter)

Ignis: “We must restock on our supply of curatives.” Ravus: “Curatives would not be a necessity of someone would cease falling in combat.” Prompto: “Hey! It’s not my fault the monsters keep chasing me!” Ravus: “Because they must be after that irresistible charm of yours.” Prompto: “And what if they are?!”

——

Noctis: “Man, it’s hot… I don’t know how you aren’t cooking alive in your coat, Ravus.” Ravus: “My burning hatred for people allows me to become resistant to the heat.” Noctis: “Uh…” Ravus: “…That was supposed to be a joke.”

——

Gladiolus: “Pretty useful with that blade there, Ravus.” Ravus: “More useful than you, I fear.” ——

Prompto: “Wow, the lighting here would make for a perfect photo! Let’s get a shot of all of us here!” Noctis: “Sure. I’m game.” Ravus: *disgusted noise* “I would much rather not.” Prompto: “Come on, Ray. Lighten up and smile a bit more, buddy!” Noctis: “That’d be a scary sight.” Ravus: “Then I shall make it my point to smile more. Just for you.”

——

Ravus: “Raining once more? Such awful weather…” Gladiolus: “What? Afraid of a little water?” Ravus: “Water plus dirt results in mud, Amicitia. Removing stains from my attire is far from something I wish to do.” Ignis: “Just as I refuse to do as well.” Prompto: “Shoulda made black your color, buddy.”

—— 

Ravus: “Amicitia! You are the King’s Shield! Act like it!” Gladiolus: “Kinda hard when there’s a bean-pole in my way!”

——

Ravus: “A decent fight, Caelum. Well done.” Noctis: “Was that a compliment…?” Ignis: “I do believe that was.” Prompto: “Look at that! Making progress!” Ravus: “…On second thought, I take back what I said.” Noctis: “No take-backs. I’ll take what I can get from you.”

Why Ardyn has banned Alice from drinking.

Ardyn: Alice its late, come home.

Alice: f*** off I'm fine.

Ardyn: I just watched you walk into a light post.

Alice: You can't see me.

Ardyn: I'm right next to you

Alice: liar.

------------

Alice: (texts) I found your family!

Ardyn: (texts) please don't tell me you dug up another grave....

Alice: (sends him a picture of a bunch of pigs)

Ardyn: (texts) where are you?!

Alice: (texts) wif yor famly

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Today's Sigma: does NOT like magicians

Kuras: murder will solve nothing.

Vere: but it is fun.