There Is A Spikey Thing On His Boot!

Nikolai: Uh oh look who got caught under the mistletoe.

Sigma: IS THIS WHY YOU CORNERED ME?!

Prompto: I made a graveyard in minecraft filled with my dead hopes and dreams.

Ignis: *pulls out his phone* what's the number of your therapist again?

Funny and/or creepy things Noctis has said.

I should do more funny creepy dialogue more often.

—

Noctis: Oh my god, my dad is coming. Everyone T-pose!

Ignis: Noct-

Noctis: NOW.

—

Noctis: Goddamnit.

Prompto: What?

Noctis: It’s Monday.

—-

Noctis: In this world, it’s fish or be fished.

Ignis: That doesn’t make sense.

Noctis: Fishes like you shouldn’t speak to fisherman like me!

Ignis: Noct.

Noctis: Begone Fishnis! Fishermoctis is on the hunt for Promfish!

Prompto: I’m confused, amused, and a bit unnerved?

—

Noctis: Since you’re all meat and not fat, does that mean if I cut you into thin slices I would feast for weeks?

Gladiolus: Please get that sword away from me.

—

Noctis: Nyx can I eat your hands?

Nyx: Um, no?

Noctis: Fine, your legs. Not like you need them.

Nyx: Uumm, I do?

Noctis: Fine, Earlobe.

Nyx: N- …let me think.

Crowe/Libertus: Nyx!

Nyx: What?

Noctis: Can I eat it or what?

Nyx: Ye- wait, uh No!

Noctis: Assholes.

—

Noctis: Are finger foods made out of fingers?

Ignis: Please put the knife down.

—

Prompto: So Behemoths eat people, so does that mean we’re eating people when we’re eating Behemoths?

Gladiolus: No.

Noctis: Yes.

Gladiolus: Noct, no.

Noctis: Noct, Yes.

Gladiolus: No damnit!

Ignis: Actually, Noctis is correct.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Told you.

—-

Noctis: I don’t like eyeballs, tastes too squishy.

Ignis: Please tell me you’re talking about grapes.

Noctis: What else would I be talking about?

Gladiolus: Stop calling them eyeballs.

Noctis: They look like them so no.

Gladiolus: Good grief.

Noctis: Also because Ignis won’t let me have real eyeballs so grapes at the closest thing I can have.

Gladiolus: What?!

Noctis: Give me eyes.

Ignis: Again, no.

—-

Noctis: Ignis is my impulse control, so I’m gonna eat your fingers while he’s gone.

Libertus: I don’t know how I got here but somebody untie me!!

—-

Reblog!

Atsushi: Hey Dazai, do you dress up for Halloween?

Dazai: Yep. Going to dress up as the ugliest thing in the world.

Atsushi: A zombie?

Dazai: Chuuya.

Dante: Okay Verge. Let’s play a game. Take a sip every time you see something stupid.

Vergil: *looks at his brother and takes a sip*

Dante: I hope you get fucking plastered and get robbed again.

Noctis: *bursts into Prompto's bedroom* I heard you scream! What happened?!

Prompto: There's a monster under my bed!

Noctis: Prom you know monsters don't exi- *looks under the bed*

Ardyn: Hello~

Noctis: Prompto we're burning your house down.

Prompto: *can sing and play the guitar*

Noct: you have a good voice. Bet you if Cindy heard it she would fall for you.

Prompto: I'll try that!

*later with Cindy*

Prompto: *strums the guitar* *pterodactyl screech*

Cindy: uhh what's he up ta ya highness?

Noct: *sighs* he was gong to sing

Ignis: *walks by* and here we have the wild Prompto performing his mating call.

Nero: Dante dealt with my father who ripped my arm off.

Lucia: he dealt with my creator which I guess you can call a dad who made clones and threw me away to be a god

Trish: he dealt with Mundus who was like my dad I guess

Lady: he dealt with my father who killed my mother and tried to sacrifice me to gain power.

Nico: he dealt with my dad who abandoned my mom and I to become an angel

Nero: So does he hunt demons or deal with bad fathers?

Dante: *walks by* just call me the daddy issues man

Noctis: You're evil.

Ardyn: Now what makes you think I'm evil?

Noctis: You filled a vegetarian's house with raw butchered meat.

Ardyn: I was showing them what they were missing out on.

Noctis: You told a bunch of children that Santa eats naughty children.

Ardyn: I was told that when I was a child.

Noctis: You sprayed Prompto with a chocobo mating spray.

Ardyn: He is loved by chocobos even more now.

Noctis: You filled Loqi's closet with Aranea's high heels and told her he stole them.

Ardyn: He's short and I wanted to help him and Aranea needs to learn how to share.

Noctis: You super glued Gladio's sword to the ground.

Ardyn: To make him stronger.

Noctis: You somehow managed to get Nyx to warp into a wall. It took hours to get him out.

Ardyn: I have no excuse for that. I just wanted to do it.

yt: junskitchen 🌸