Drew My Alter, DESPERATE DIVISON!!

I feel like each Heister has a weird. Thing they can do. Like they all have a weird quirk.

Like I firmly believe that Sokol can drift in roller skates. I have met very few people who can actually drift in skates and not fall over.

Jacket can take things apart and put them back together with record speed. He definitely has an old samsung phone with no case purely so he can pop the battery back in when he drops it.

You know that cigarette thing from Stardust Crusaders? With the flipping and stuff? Dallas can do that.

Sydney can wrap anything. Like someone's birthday rolls around and someone bought them a funky-shaped gift. Sydney can wrap it.

Houston can drive backwards. By extension, I think he likes the Fast and Furious movies and specifically mods old cars so he can try crazy shit.

Jimmy can open any bottle, and I mean a n y bottle. Sangres can saber any bottle flawlessly and the two bond over it.

Joy can stack cups like a motherfucker. Like full on "she practices every night for four hours" level.

Feel free to add on! I might have more in the future.

Deadass this is something that is honestly so helpful and important. My mom did this with me and my brother and I 100% plan on passing it on to my sister as she gets older. Please please p l e a s e do this. And if you’re a minor, please remember this. It absolutely will help and it could save your life.

-Nori

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

Seeing these responses pop up in my notifs was the biggest moment of "What the McFuck (positive)" I have ever experienced. Are yall a hivemind, how tf did you see this post that quickly

I hope to one day reach the level of payday posting that Yado and Bainposting and the others are on. I hope to one day join the high council but alas I started this blog for Elder Scrolls content.

- Nori

“My child is fine” ma’am your child kins a cape.

-Nori

I wanna add that if it’s actually because you don’t know and that you are making the effort to learn it’s alright. It just the people who have no intention of learning and/or are saying that to hide the fact that they can’t ever think of a fat body being pretty or worthy of positive attention.

I am not sorry but if you draw plus-sized characters super skinny and say its because you don’t know how to draw larger bodies you’re a coward and a scoundrel and I want none of what you’re selling.

I will never not lose my shit when watching the Payday webseries. Specifically when Greta tries to be horny with Gage. My guy is Not Interested (tm). He is astral projecting through that entire scene. Theres a pretty lady leaning over him and he has the fucking blankest stare I have ever seen on a man getting his Excalibur fondled.

GOD FUCKING DAMMIT ITS A FUCKING PREMIUM ONLY FEATURE

IBIS ADDED AN ANTI AI FILTER YEAAAAAAHHHH

I rly wanted to play payday 2 but no one wanted to play w me so i played it by myself and can i just say that dallas and wolf aint shit if nobody got me i know houston got me. He saved me more times than anyone else today and honestly i would buy this guy a drink. I rly like Jimmy and Sangres and Wick and Joy and Jacket and Sydney and Jiro and Bonnie and Houston just got added to the "drinks w the bois" gc.

- Nori

Some absolute bangers from my dnd sesh tonight:

DM, in response to Jonathan taking a puff of weed mid-session: “Are you ripping a bong in Strahd’s castle??”

DM, after Jonathan asks in-game if Strahd is British: “He gives you a confused look like ‘what the fuck are british people?’“

Dm, watching a player be weird across the table: “What are you throating over there? Is that a piece of asparagus?”

Said player: “You dont got the asparagussy.”

Jonathan, in response to ‘What can I do that you cant?’: “You can…not tank a wooden stake to the heart.”

Jonathan: “Youre a bad neighbor!”

Aenrice: “IM A FIRBOLG, IM THE TARGET OF A HATECRIME.”

Aenrice: “Dont die.”

Jonathan: “Probably not.”

Jonathan, when Strahd doesn’t believe him: “No, I can actually speak dog.”

DM, imitating Jonathan: “That vampire bussy got me actin up.”

Jonathan: “I told you we shouldn’t have done it but you were all ‘no i want some of that sweet vampire dick-“

Aenrice: “THAT WAS YOU-“

Jonathan’s Player, out of nowhere: “You could totally turn an ice cream scooper into a pipe.”

Jonathan, in reference to fucking Strahd: “You said no, he said yea, we took the highest bidder.”

Arenus, jealously: “I cant believe you would even think about doing something like that with him.”

Jonathan: “Dyou wanna fuck?”

Arenus: “No!”

Jonathan: “Then shut up.”

NPC: “Stay safe traveler!”

Jonathan: “Maybe”

Aenrice’s Player: “Aenrice looks at your four-barreled blunderbuss, then at his one barreled blunderbuss, and says ‘Yours is bigger than mine.’”

Jonathan: “Aint that the usual.”

Jonathan: “Strahd, me boy, yer a feckin fool.”

Jonathan: *Exorcises Strahd while speaking fake Italian like a Terminal Montage video*

Jonathan: “Exorcise, no treadmill.”

i’m seeing a lot of people reblogging suicide hotlines and this is just a reminder that this is a suicide help line that works like a text-based instant messenger for people who may need to talk to someone but have trouble/are uncomfortable making phone calls