Heyy I Wanted To Post Here Some Of My Absolutely Random Headcanons On South Park Kids (non-shipping Version)

im thinking about making a pinned post for this account but i genuinely dont know what else i could put there except for “i love kyman”😭

matching canes??? 😨

kyman superhero au where they know each other in regular life (and go to the same college) and kinda can’t stand each other but are forced to work together

Okay I saw the new special and I am FREAKING OUT SO MUCH.

First of all, the hug. DO I EVEN NEED TO MENTION THAT? WE ALL KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT! This is like the 3rd or 4th time he's hugged Kyle like that and Kyle never moved away or anything. MY HEART EXPLODED AT THAT (not literally i'm fine dw)

Secondly, the fact that no matter what universe Cartman is from... Kyle is still the centre of the attention. Like Panderverse Cartman was still weirdly obsessed with Kyle in the typical Cartman fashion and it was hilarious to watch. It's like he never left... Oh wait-

THIRDLY, THE FUCKING KYLE CEREAL BEING CALLED YUMMY??? I know it's typical food stuff like "ooh this food is so yummy" BUT THE FACT IT WAS KYLE CEREAL MADE IT SO MUCH BETTER SO IM ADDING IT.

Also the fact Panderverse Cartman said they use Sheila's credit card all the time is just hilarious to me, and makes me think normal Cartman does as well. Gotta stay close to the family somehow ya know? 😂

Anyway imma stop ranting now, so uh... Yeah I'm losing my mind from all this new content.

guys

piners keep winning

I'M WEAK. https://twitter.com/ToonHive/status/1712169927124103221

stan marsh sees two guys literally just standing next to each other and be like “oh wow is this another reason to doubt my sexuality?”

i have no idea if anyone remembers that kyman university au of mine but im still hyperfixating on it so just a smaaaall piece of a funny dialogue aka “everyone thinks kyle and cartman were dating”

***

"Dude, I'll beat you in every debate," Cartman chuckled smugly.

Kyle shook his head proudly, giving him a haughty look.

“You? Beating me? You must have forgotten that I was the head of the debate club at school”.

Cartman's eyes flashed with a predatory gleam, and he readily extended his hand to Broflovski, as if he had been waiting for that. The air between them seemed to sparkle with tension, and Kyle grabbed his palm defiantly.

"A bet, then?" Kyle nodded, and the audience – their classmates standing behind him — enthusiastically supported them.

“In case of loss, you suck my balls, Kaaahl”, Cartman smiled nastily, watching as Kyle nodded eagerly by inertia, and then, having realised the last remark, went furious, indignantly opening his mouth.

“What the fuck?! Do you think I'll fall for it again?”

The crowd behind him gasped in shock, and Kyle instantly blushed, turning to them in a mute attempt to defend himself. Rebecca squeaked "again?" in surprise, and Cartman, as if he knew that this would happen, sighed sympathetically:

“Oh, I’m sorry, Kyle... Sorry, guys, he doesn't really like to remember this episode of our life, you know?”

***

i LOVE that it’s pretty canon that because of kyle people usually think there’s something between him and cartman (“this two brave lovers…”, “oh, so you two are like this, huh?🤨” in the “Tonsil Trouble”) AND CARTMAN NEVER DENIES IT

everyone is required to reblog this post with a reason why they love homestuck (if you've read and enjoyed it)

Got this from @hatsunevitu post I laugh my ass off reading you two @peppered-saltine

cartman uses voice messages all of the time. sometimes kyle gets tons of notifications to see that cartman has sent him, like, twenty voice messages, each is at least two minutes long, and there’s literally ZERO useful or even remooootely informative in them

and yes, kyle hates it, but he always listens to them anyway, sometimes he even gets distracted and listens to cartman’s voice for an hour while cleaning up his room or doing homework. he chuckles when cartman there says something funny, and rolls his eyes every time cartman says something dumb, though he rarely actually says anything back.

sometimes cartman mentions something serious or genuine, and it catches kyle off guard literally every damn time. cartman is like

“*ten minutes of absolutely horrific fucked up shit* Btw u sounded pretty kewl at school today at the history lesson lol i guess sometimes ur nerdiness can be an advantage. You’re pretty smart, I mean… *another ten minutes of meaningless bs*

and every time kyle gets surprised like

k: did u just compliment me?

c: what no i didnt

k: no u totally did! 8:46 see?? i even re-listened it!

c: DID U LISTEN TO IT TWICE??

k: I HAD TO MAKE SURE.