Stan Marsh Sees Two Guys Literally Just Standing Next To Each Other And Be Like “oh Wow Is This Another

i have a REALLY big soft spot for the trope when character A sees good sides in character B even when nobody else does

and it’s so kyman like. really.

and i’m really sorry for this post ‘cause it’s very messy and i’m not good with words but i have so many thoughts about this–

when kyle starts to see some good sides of eric cartman it confuses him so much because he physically can’t believe cartman can have something nice deep inside. like, kyle sees how cartman suddenly cares a lot about cats and can defend them even when he won’t get any profit from that. or how sometimes cartman actually does good things and nobody seems to notice that? like in s10e2 “smug alert” when cartman risks himself to save kyle. i strongly hc that kyle learns about it from butters about a month after this all happened and he’s so shocked by that ‘cause he can’t even explain to himself why cartman would do that. and he’s starting to see more and more remotely positive things about cartman (especially since cartman’s taking his medication) and it surprises him how nobody ever praises him for that. or for anything, actually. it’s like they refuse to admit that cartman can be, well, not a devil himself.

and kyle’s starting to overthink it, so he goes to stan and starts asking him about cartman, about his personality and his good traits, and how nobody notices them, but stan doesn’t even listen. he just laughs and says that anything “good” cartman does he does for his own benefit and that he always has ulterior motives. and kyle feels this unfairness because yes, he agrees, cartman’s an asshole and it’s natural that all his friends hate him but HEY everyone deserves to be judged fairly. and as far as he can see – people don’t even try to give him a second chance. and, moreover, what’s worse – cartman doesn’t give himself second chance either.

i mean, actually, if you think about it a bit, you can notice how cartman never denies that he’s a shitty person. he knows he’s terrible, he knows he’s hated by most of the people he has met, and he knows that nobody expects anything good from him. so he doesn’t expect anything good from himself either. he just goes along with everyone’s judgement like “yep. i do not deserve good treatment because i do terrible things and hurt people all the time”. he can be dramatic and self-defensive sometimes, but actually you can see how he actually doesn’t believe in the second chance for himself.

and it confuses kyle. so much. and he really decides that it’s his new mission to prove cartman he can change and he can deserve second chance and good attitude from others. because what? because kyle just loves two things: saving and helping those in need (especially when it’s cartman) and proving other people wrong.

so, yep, it’s basically an au where as time passes children in south park start avoiding cartman because they’ve had enough of him and they’re really sick of his terrible personality. they don’t purposefully ignore him, just pay much less attention, and cartman (who has started to take medication that helps him with his mental state) tries to fight it at first and somehow accidentally hurts (not physically) stan and some other kids reaaaally bad while this, so eventually he just accepts that he’s not gonna be a part of friends group anymore. and he admits that, well, he saw it coming. his meds make him much calmer and melancholic, so he doesn’t even make a scene. he just sits at his house more and more often, skipping school to avoid his classmates. and while stan and kenny get over losing their close friend, kyle can’t. he grew closer to cartman because he really wants to save him. and – to his own surprise – he doesn’t feel like cartman deserves this loneliness.

and, well, sometimes stan and kyle have this kind of dialogue, when kyle (unsuccessfully) tries to change stan’s opinion on cartman.

stan: Dude, Cartman can’t go, he’ll ruin the whole party! Nobody will come if he’s there!

kyle: Well, it’s just… I know he’s an asshole and we hate him but don’t you think it’s a little too… harsh?

stan: “Harsh”? Kyle, we’re talking about Eric Cartman.

kyle: I know! It’s just… everyone will come, we can’t just ignore him, can we?

stan: We totally can. Remember how many times he spoiled parties just because he got bored?

kyle: Uh… You’re right… Sorry, I was just a bit… confused, I guess.

stan: That’s fine, dude. I’m always here to remind you of how much of a prick he is.

kyle: Huh, thanks…

and he realises that he doesn’t hate cartman as much as he did. because, really, kyle’s first reaction to seeing a person getting so much hatred and contempt is being defensive and trying to protect that person. and he feels, like, really bad for cartman, so he goes to his place to hang out together. and it’s like, well:

kyle: Don’t you feel bad when everyone there are having fun without you?

cartman: Yeah, it kinda sucks but it’s not like I can do something about it.

kyle: So what? You’re just gonna stay at home for months talking to nobody but me and Butters?

cartman: That was my plan, right. It’s not that bad anyway.

kyle: Two days ago you said you can’t spend too much time with me or you “get infected with jewishness”.

cartman: I became immune to it.

kyle: *laughs* Well, it’s not like I mind it too much as well.

cartman: You know, that’s the part that bothers me.

kyle: Huh?

cartman: Why are you here, spending you weekend with me instead of helping Stan with his party?

kyle, shrugging: Not really into parties. Besides, I didn’t expect it but you’re not the worst company, you know.

cartman: Oh, come on.

kyle: What?

cartman: Stop making fake compliments to make me feel better, jew.

kyle: What do you mean “fake”?

cartman: I know you’re only doing this because you don’t want me to be alone.

kyle: What?

cartman: Well, you know, your terrible saviour complex? When you see a pathetic lonely person and you just have to come and save him so you can feel better about yourself and feed your ego?

kyle: What the fuck are you even talking about?? Do you really think I’m here only because I pity you?

cartman: Why else would you be here?

kyle: Oh my god, can’t believe I actually thought we were getting along while you just assumed I was having ulterior motives!

cartman: So you claim you wasn’t and it was all sincere?

kyle, offended: Yes!!

cartman: …Nah. Unconvincing, Kahl, work on your acting skills, would ya?

kyle: You know what? Fuck you. I just… I can’t even…

cartman: Oh, finally, good ol’ Kahl is back here.

kyle, slamming the door on his way out: UGH.

and so kyle leaves and ofc he’s irritated and annoyed and angry, but the thing that bothers him so much is that cartman didn’t seem to actually believe someone would really hang out with him now without having ulterior motives. and it warms kyle’s heart and it starts over again and again – kyle getting closer to cartman and realising how lonely he really is all the time.

and, well. he ends up catching himself defending cartman in front of their classmates and choosing him over them. and then, you know, a typical slowburn fanfic for 100k words :D

so, yeah, i don’t know if someone will actually read it until the end, but, uh, i love this scenario when eric actually becomes a better person just for kyle – because kyle is (surprisingly) the only one to even believe that cartman can be better. and eric appreciates that.

@bloogers-boogers @hatsunevitu (this is a joke about Cartman’s dad for anyone that didn't get it)

guys i just walked into my room and saw this…….. do you think it’s a date?

guess who has kyman plushies now

MEOWWW @bloogers-boogers U DONT KNOW HOW MUCH I SMILE WHEN U RB ME NDKNXKXD THANKS A LOT 😭😭🤲🤲🫶🫶

so if i guess it right kenny-from-another-universe is bisexual/sapphic-coded in the new special? could that mean we just got a vague confirmation original kenny is also bi omfg

i was thinking a lot about stan and kyle’s attitude to romantic relationships and romance in general. and what about stan’s mental problems, i’ve decided that i strongly headcanon him as a hyperromantic person.

like, when he grows up he starts having constant romantic thoughts, he “crushes” on every person he had barely talked to and has an endless anxiety on the basis of intrusive hyperromantic made up scenarios in his head.

i just find it somehow suitable for him cause he has shown to be very sensitive + he’s the only boy having such a long term relationship and he genuinely CARES about romance.

and i honestly think he gets REALLY confused when it comes to any romantic feelings (that, and also he’s still in denial of his bisexuality + i hc him having a big one-sided crush on kyle that he hasn’t realised yet)

BY THE WAY kyle, on the contrary, is very much indifferent about romance except for when its eric.

like i strongly believe that any “normal” kind of relationship makes him bored so he can only experience romantic feelings when there had been a looong rivalry-like connection and constant fights first. he also is very slow to develop these crushes.

and he, just as stan, doesn’t really understand his feelings (remember how he was told that he is in love with heidi and he’s like “no im not!!! …….am i????”) boyyyyyy😭

so here’s a k2 au where kyle somehow managed to notice kenny’s deaths, and how i imagine his reaction would be.

first of all, we all know kyle’s saviour complex and his “older brother” behaviour, so i strongly believe he would be shocked by kenny’s immortality and his first intention is simple af – to protect kenny and not let him die anymore. it’s kind of a subconscious thing, but i think kyle would feel guilt for not knowing about kenny’s sufferings, he’d feel like a shitty friend, and would want to restore his reputation by “saving kenny”. he would make it like some sort of his moral obligation.

and that was great at the beginning because kenny is not used to such caring protective treatment, but as the time passed kyle would become more, uh, insistent?

he would have unknowingly deprived kenny of the opportunity to enjoy those crumbs of a happy, calm, free life that he had, because of his overprotection.

he really didn’t mean to discomfort kenny though, but it just. happened?... because kyle is very overprotective and sometimes he can “suffocate” with his care as we can see it from his interactions with ike.

i can literally see a scene where they all went to a potentially dangerous place such as amusement park, and kyle doesn’t want kenny to get hurt so they avoid “dangerous” things.

someone suggests to kyle and kenny to go to the rides, kenny smiles happily and is already running towards the roller coaster, but kyle grabs his hand and pulls him towards the children's carousels instead, saying that the rest is too dangerous,

and kenny is sitting on this children's carousel next to kindergarteners, with a dreary look on his face. he sees stan and cartman, screaming with delight on the adult attractions, and sighs very sadly.

and this happens more and more because kyle is responsible and he doesn’t want to break his promise. and one day kenny just gets so sick of this, like… i see how they can start arguing, because kenny wants to do something dangerous, and kyle holds him back, and kenny just loses his temper (he can get really furious when people are trying to take what gives him joy, as we see in s12e3 “major boobage”).

and kyle also gets angry so he replies smth like: "But look, how long has it been since your last death??? Two months, Kenny!! You’ve never been alive for such a long time in a row! All thanks to my care!" and kenny, who is already freaking out on emotions, says something like "WELL MAYBE DYING WAS MORE FUN THAN HANGING OUT WITH YOU!" and kyle gets so devastated. so he just frowns with a blank look, mumbles quiet “Oh… I see” and leaves.

and then after this, it has been like two or three days already, kenny dies once again, so he remembers how this can hurt. he feels a bit guilty about his words, so he comes up to kyle and they finally have a talk:

kyle: You… you really think I’m hurting you with my protection?

kenny: (Wait, no, I didn’t mean to offend you–)

kyle: But you think so, don’t you?

kenny: (It’s just… I’m used to dying, Kyle, I don’t need this much concern.)

kyle: But I… I know that but, it’s like… when I imagine you being injured or dead… Everything inside me just aches and shrinks, and… I guess I am overreacting, but I just don’t want you to go through something like this any more than needed.

kenny: (Aw :( )

kyle: I’m sorry, Kenny, I didn’t mean to…

kenny: *hugs* (That’s fine.)

and they’re finally fine. at least they’re trying to find this golden middle between protection and recklessness :3

some gay dudes dunno i just love them

it’s not like i’m a cartman apologist but every time i see people genuinely hating this boy i want to write a MASSIVE essay explaining why he is the way he is

so about a kyman university au here

imagine when kyle and cartman’s new classmates once are so sick of hearing kyle hating cartman so much, so they sceptically ask what is it what kyle has against eric. and kyle is so confused as he can’t choose proper words to find an actual reason why he hates cartman, so he just grabs the first guess he has in mind and victoriously declares “For example, he gave me fucking AIDs once, does that count?”

and he’s so proud of finally revealing them how terrible cartman is, that he doesn’t notice how his classmates exchange understanding looks and nod. then he hears “Oh, so they were exes… That explains everything!” and gets fucking furious while cartman is losing it sm he doesn’t even try to deny their assumption.