I Have This Little Funny Headcanon On Kenman Brotp Where Kenny And Cartman Are Both Excellent Liars,

OH MY GOD I NOW NEED A WHOLE FUCKING AU BECAUSE THIS IS A FAMILY

“that’s besides the point” I CANT EVEN BMMZKXJXKXXN IM ACTUALLY IN MY BED SHOUTING IN MY PILLOW RN BECAUSE THISSSS IS SO CANON I CAN ACTUALLY HEAR KYLE SAYING THAT.

and then kyle talks to kids, over and over again, gives them personal space, time to adjust, helps them with their homework and lets them see that he and yentl dont hate each other. and he celebrates each little win in a fight for their acceptance. istg one day he rushes into his and cartman’s bedroom to wake him up and shout victoriously “Moisha just asked me to help him with his Maths homework, and I did, and he smiled at me and said I’m pretty smart for such an annoying asshole!!”

and cartman who is still sleepy barely understandable asks “Moisha called you an annoying asshole?” and kyle smiles so widely and says “YES” and hugs him because he has never felt so happy for being insulted

kyle that actually tries to get along with cartman’s kids and suddenly feels extremely nostalgic because they act exactly like cartman in his childhood, and even if they are little monsters he still adores it, surprisingly for himself. meanwhile eric himself is trying his best to forget all those horrible things he did in his past because he feels so ashamed and now he absolutely refuses to admit that his kids might be pretty similar to how he was when he was ten.

one day kyle is watching kids playing in the front yard from the kitchen where cartman stands next to him and cooks them both a breakfast. they’re sitting in comforting silence, both still sleepy, with messy hair, wearing their pyjamas, and at one moment kyle sighs dreamily and mumbles something like “Wow, some things really don’t change, huh…”. eric just raises an eyebrow not quite understanding what that was about, so he says “Sorry?” and waits for elaboration. kyle chuckles and wordlessly nods in the kids direction. eric smiles, not even looking at them and says “Yeah, they’re such angels”, to which kyle only laughs and says “Dude, they’re more like little devils. I mean, they’re little copies of you in your childhood”. cartman immediately frowns and gets extremely defensive like “What the eff, Kyle, they’re not at all like I was. My kids would never be like that, I won’t let you disrespect them at my house”, and kyle just sits there with a smile looking at how kids outside are trying to burn an orange stuffed voodoo bear in a silly little green hat with a note “kyle” on him. cartman finally turns his head to see what they are up to, and then he barely holds laughter adding “Well, maybe there is just one similarity”.

@bloogers-boogers THANKS A LOT FOR YOUR HEADCANON I CANT STOP THINKING ABOUT KYLES INTERACTION WITH THE KIDS

perhaps making my whole personality about two cartoon ten years old boys was a mistake

kyman high school au where cartman who has never really cared about his grades finally realises that kyle is kinda obsessed with being the best student and there is nothing that can piss him off more than being bested by someone like cartman. so eric basically just for fun decides to become a perfect student and since he has some kind of natural talent for studying and he’s a quick learner he pretty soon catches up with kyle so they start competing constantly.

and although kyle is a hardworking student, cartman is still perfect at cheating and convincing teachers of his “new” era of being an example student so their competition becomes rather brutal. and i mean it. the history classes are their battlefield where they debate with each other arguing constantly about some historical facts and theories for the whole lesson. and although cartman often makes controversial statements just to irritate kyle, he’s a better and more confident debater due to being an unashamed and charismatic asshole.

when their classmates are afraid of the test or something they beg eric to start a nerdy fight about something (sometimes he even gets paid for doing so).

also kyle kinda sucks at artistic subjects like arts or music or theatre while cartman is great at them (he’s very confident about music and acting which was proven in series multiple times). he often brags about being more imaginative than kyle is. in response kyle laughs at cartman’s constant C’s and B’s in biology/chemistry/geography.

so basically they both end up being called nerds but the only thing that matters to them is being better than each other. competitive & obsessed with each other smartasses :D

just finished tfbw i am so not fucking normal about kyman there

A bunch of kymans before my brain gets fried up

everyone is required to reblog this post with a reason why they love homestuck (if you've read and enjoyed it)

they should kill off cartman. im not joking – they should kill cartman out of nowhere in a random episode (preferably kyle is the cause of his death in some way) and the next episode he should stay dead. and everyone has moved on bc they did not like him a bit, including his mother. then two episodes later kenny dies and we follow his soul to hell, where cartman grabs onto him and clings to him as he comes back to earth, thus getting resurrected. he comes back to life as a deus ex machina to end the main plot line of that episode and he’s just back now. and they don’t mention it again. imagining the social media response to this alone is fuelling me through the last forty minutes of my work day.

@bloogers-boogers I CRIED I LOVE IT EVERY TIME WHEN U REBLOG ME I JUST 😭😭😭😭🤲🤲🤲🤲🤲 THANKS A LOT MKZNXKXNXKXHSJXN

So glad ur back i missed ur headcannons and writing so bad^^ ( ´▽` )

OMFG IM SO HAPPY TO HEAR THAT!!!!! i hope u won’t be disappointed by the new stuff i’ll post heheeee <3 🫶

have you ever been insanely jealous of what two gay fourthgraders have