Just Finished Tfbw I Am So Not Fucking Normal About Kyman There

we have the same name and both ship kyman i think its meant to be/j

WAIT WHATS UR NAME (/j but yeah vita is just one of the forms of my name?? i guess??)

AWWW THATS SO COOL kymans gotta stick together!!! >:]]

when kyle was 16, his parents (mostly dad) decided that he had to understand how money are earned by hard and honest work, so they cut off his pocket money and gave him an advice to finally find a part-time job. kyle didn’t mind it much, so after a week or two of choosing the right option he decided to stick to something as peaceful and less stressful as possible, so he chose to get a job at the local library as an assistant. he already had experience in working with literature and students books – he was tutoring his classmates for a year by that time, plus the librarian was his mother’s friend so he didn’t expect any difficulties to get into his way.

until cartman learned about kyle’s new work and decided it was his moral duty to go into the library that he has never visited before and pester kyle every goddamn day. because kyle couldn’t do anything to stop this since he wasn’t allowed to start conflicts as a worker there. it also was prohibited to shout at the library so most of the time he was cursing and threatening cartman in a whisper. neither was he allowed to kick him out because the librarian truly believed that every child has the right to be in this sacred temple of knowledge.

and it was terrible.

every day kyle was expecting another trick from cartman – either it was total reorganising of the books on shelves from alphabetical order to matching colours, or a request to find a very rare book that only was in the library in one copy somewhere in the farthest corner of the room at the highest shelf – only to realise cartman absolutely knows this book has been missing for, like, three years by now.

kyle: Can you please stop bothering me?! You don’t even read books!

cartman: Sure I do! But paper books are sooo last century, I’m into e-books now.

kyle: THEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN THE LIBRARY EVERY DAY, YOU SADISTIC ASSHOLE?

cartman: Making your life even more miserable and complicated than it already is?…

kyle: Why am I even surprised? I should’ve really guessed.

AND THEN one day kyle sees cartman in the library and mentally prepares for another portion of mocking, but surprisingly for him, cartman doesn’t even look at him, says simple and brief “hi” and goes straight to the reading hall, grabbing one of the books on the shelf. kyle can’t help but feel curious, because he’s never seen cartman so concentrated and serious – at least not the last few weeks. he sneaks up to him from the back:

kyle: What, have you finally realised what you’re actually supposed to do at the library?

cartman, shivering a little: You’re not supposed to scare the shit out of your customers too, huh, Kahl?

kyle: What even is this book? Knowing your tastes, I won’t be surprised if it’s, like, fucking Mein Kampf or something like that.

cartman, rolling his eyes: It’s none of your fucking business. And I wouldn’t read Mein Kampf, who do you even think I am?

and then kyle grabs cartman’s book and with surprise sees that it’s one of his most favorite books (i’m not sure what exactly it is but my personal hc is that kyle is really into dystopias and stories with political controversial subtext…), and he really can’t help but start discussing it with cartman. after, like, a whole half an hour of kyle infodumping him with the history behind this book, he realises they actually have pretty similar taste, and cartman’s analysing skills are so great he really understands all of the hidden messages in books, and they, well…. eventually start hanging out in the library discussing books they’re reading rn. to the point where kyle almost forgets about his other duties at work ‘cause he gets really consumed by all these discussions with cartman.

and he tries to tell about this to stan and kenny but they both just laugh because these two nerds who have finally found a conversation partner are fucking hilarious.

+ bonus about their preferences: they both are really into morally grey and/or generally antagonistic characters. and although it’s totally predictable for cartman, he was really shocked when he realised kyle adores “bad” and “immoral” characters as well (we aaaaaall know why…)

also i think kyle is more of a “plot” person who really enjoys reading about how the world in the book works, meanwhile cartman mostly prefers digging into characters, relationships between them and their psychological traits and traumas, yk? and it really helps, because each of them often notice little details the other might’ve missed.

i dont talk about creekenny enough so here’s a headcanon i’ve been thinking about !!

you might think about creek being softies to each other, but actually they’re the ones having constant fights and arguments and getting kenny involved in this. and like, at the beginning he actually tried his best to help those two make peace, but at some point he got pretty sick of it so he prefers to just stay out of their silly little fights knowing they can’t possibly stay mad at each other for too long. so now he doesn’t usually intervene (unless the fight is really serious but that happened only once or twice) and mostly he hangs out with cartman until craig and tweek solve their problems. and don’t judge him ‘cause he’s actually really willing to help but most of the time they just don’t need someone else’s help.

it usually goes like this:

kenny: (Hey guys, you wanna have a movie night?)

tweek: I am NOT watching movies with this two-faced heartless prick!

craig: Neither am I. Kenny, could you tell Tweek to go fuck himself?

kenny: (Oh god, not again…)

tweek: Actually – GAH! – I have a better idea. How about we watch movies together, Ken? Just you, me and the romantic night.

craig: He’s not gonna watch your gay-ass musicals.

tweek: Well!! Uh! He’s not gonna watch your stupid documentaries either!

kenny: (Why am I even trying?)

tweek: So what do you wanna do, Kenny? Do you choose spending time with your favourite boyfriend, or, huh, hanging out with that lame asshole.

kenny: (Actually, the “asshole” part sounds kind of entertai–)

craig & tweek, shouting in sync: Kenny!

kenny: (Alright, alright! Actually, guys, I’d rather get drunk with Cartman watching superhero movies until you figure out your issues.)

tweek: That’s – gah! – a backstabbing move, Kenny!

craig: Didn’t think I’d say that, but Tweek is right.

tweek: Thanks!

craig, looking away: …

tweek, ashamed: …Okay, I’m sorry, Craig.

craig: I’m- I’m sorry too, Tweek. I didn’t mean to upset you, honey.

kenny: (See? Told ya I’m the best throuple counsellor on Earth.)

creekenny being an absolutely hilarious ot3 part four

so nobody in the town knows for sure if kenny actually dates one or both of them. like, everyone is pretty used to seeing creek obviously dating and not even trying to hide it, and their parents know craig and tweek are dating but literally NO ONE understands kenny’s role in this relationship. there’s always some rumors and gossips here and there from some girls who saw kenny kissing craig after the party, or tweek holding kenny’s hand lovingly.

and when someone is really desperate enough for knowing the truth to actually ask one of them who tf is dating who in this odd love triangle, they always get different answers because these three mfs find other people’s curiosity hysterical.

they’re like:

kenny: (Ah, yes, that’s a threesome. Like a regular sausage party but times three, you know.)

craig: Uh, Kenny? Yeah, he’s, like, our pet, ‘cause me and Tweek aren’t allowed to have another guinea pig.

tweek: Kenny? Well, he’s kinda stuck with us for some reason. Man, I don’t know, maybe he wants to steal our stuff when we let our guard down…

kenny: (I’m just working undercover to check if they’re actually gay or just pretending to get more money and attention from girls.)

tweek: Wait, what do you mean “dating”? Gah!!! Are you implying he’s sleeping with my boyfriend? I thought he was hanging out with us because Craig owes him money! That son of a bitch!…

craig and kenny, trying so hard not to laugh: 😱 Oops, busted…

i like oblivious butters. really, i do – it’s pretty canon, it has a lot of comedic potential and it contrasts so well with other guys’ cynical awareness.

but oh boy how i like when butters, on the contrary, is insightful – but he keeps all his information to himself. butters who’s the first person to realise something is happening between kyle and cartman. butters who realises stan is definitely not straight before even stan himself finds it out. butters who feels something is wrong with kenny’s often disappearances and is the first one to question it. he doesn’t talk about it much but he’s just there and he knows what’s happening, so when people don’t have anyone to talk to and need an advice – he will give it to them, and it will be the most supportive and sincere help.

you can’t tell me that he won’t develop the skill to read other people’s mood and notice the small details as he grows up – because that’s an essential part of living with unstable and violent abusive parents. even if he had troubles with reading the atmosphere in his childhood, daily attempts to guess and foresee his father’s mood will eventually end up being a great push for him to improve his understanding of people around him.

and yes he will still be pretty innocent and sometimes naïve and probably autistic little fella, but he will have so much more in himself than he shows. and i think nobody will really realise it, except for maybe cartman and/or kenny.

and that’s what makes all ships and brotps with him so intriguing and interesting.

honestly i think kyle always had a crush on cartman

when you have an otp with stan marsh you begin to consider vomit as a romantic gesture

clyde likes asking creekenny lots of inappropriate questions about how their relationship work because he’s innocent and silly so he makes craig blush every time. and then when kenny actually starts explaining, clyde gets flustered and scared at the same time so he closes his ears and says bitterly that he’ll never be able to erase this picture in his mind now. moreover, kenny even suggests not only tell but also show him everything for ten bucks and clyde actually considers his offer for, like, a minute, but then craig and tweek just sigh, roll their eyes in sync and drag him home.

clyde: So… how does your threesome work, guys?

tweek: Ugh, it’s not a threesome, it’s a throuple, Clyde!

kenny, shrugging: Well, I can do both.

heyyyy !!! i saw a person asking me about my other sp otps (yep thats surprising but kyman is not my only pairing hehe) sooo ive done this

btw i absolutely can’t draw so i’m sorry for how ugly it may look

i also love stenny, clybe, bebe/red, steek, kytters, clenny and staig a lot!!!

also this kinda looks like a template so i’ll leave it here under the cut

and aww @bloogers-boogers thanks a lot for asking!!!!! also wanted to say that your choice of otps is sooooo great like rlly i dont see enough ppl liking ships like jimthan or kenman!! and our taste is a bit similar because YEPPP KYMAN CANDY AND JIMTHAN SHARING (almost) THE SAME DYNAMIC IS SO TRUE!!!

AWWWW @bloogers-boogers THANKSSSS A LOT missed u sooo much🫶🫶!!! (i’m not sure about the “returns” part tho cuz im slowly running out of ideas but i still have like four kyman hcs and aus soo >:]])