I’M CRYING--

Sebastian, teaching ciel how to drive a car: you use the brakes to slow down or stop, you press the gas pedal to move

Ciel: what if I press the brake and gas at the same time?

Alois: the car takes a screenshot

Sebastian: for the last time, get the f*CK out.

Store Worker: Would a Mr. Ciel Phantomhive please come to the front desk? Ciel, arriving at the desk: Hello, is there a problem? Store Worker: *points to Alois and Soma* Store Worker: I believe they belong to you? Alois and Soma, simultaneously: We got lost :( Ciel: I didn’t even bring you guys here with me-

Therapy is not enough. I need to surround myself with Elizabeth Midford defenders.

(Kuro)sh*t post warning

I was thinking about how demons like Sebastian are different from humans, and then I wondered, like... If demons have to eat souls and not real food and can live many, many years... What else is different about them?

Annnnnd of course, my brain went to the most embarrassing thought possible.

Demon bladders. Yes, I know. I already asked my brain ‘wtf’ so you don’t have to do it. I’ve done it for you already.

What if demons can hold their bladders for like, YEARS, like, thousands of years? And what if Sebastian was one of those demons that did hold it for thousands of years?

I can just imagine there would just be like, a limit. One day too many out of a thousand years. And that one day, where he can hardly stand it and is at the point of just... losing it all. 😂

Ciel insists he stays by his side and helps him with his paperwork.  💀

“If I could not stay by my young master’s side and help him with his paperwork despite having to use the loo extremely bad, w-what kind of butler would I be?” 

💀 Poor Sebastian! 😂

I JUST SNORT-LAUGHED SO DAMN VIOLENTLY--

Finny, at 3AM: If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.

Baldroy: *eyes wide, staring at the ceiling*

Happy Birthday, Spongebobbbbbbb~!

(Ms. Puff should give Spongebob his license for his birthday, ahahahaha..) (..actually she probably shouldn’t because then half of Bikini Bottom would be destroyed)

💛HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SPONGEBOB!! 💛

Aw I like his outfit-- *reads the shirt* --HEY HEY HEY WAIT A MINUTE HEY

saw this shirt online and knew i needed to put it on alois

REBLOGGING BECAUSE IT’S FUNNY AND IT’S A SPONGEBOB REFERENCE (kinda)

Sebastian’s Day Off

“Sebastian, I can see you’re stressed. You’re pouring milk into the dehumidifier “

“Ah shit”

^^^^^

THIS

THIS MADE ME LAUGH

Gaylebastian part 7

Sebastian: All right, Ciel, everything’s looking good for the luncheon today. I have some real heavy hitter’s for my bull pen. I’m talking grapes the size of B-cups, a ham roast that could feed a lion pride for a calendar month. I’ve got a calzone that’s so big, it registered as a passenger in my car and the unbuckled seatbelt alarm kept going off, so I had to buckle it in and then live with the shame of looking like a calzone chauffeur

Sebastian: The one thing that isn’t complete is my pièce de résistance, the dessert: my golden-brown crusted, piping-hot, jacked-up apple pie. The only way I can achieve the crunchiest, crispiest crust is if I cook it ten minutes before company arrives. So I’m leaving it till the last minute

Ciel: Sebastian, I can see you’re stressed. You’re pouring milk into the dehumidifier

Sebastian: Ah shit

Sebastian: Look, it doesn’t matter. We can’t cook this baby until ten minutes before company arrives, because I’m serving this thing PIPIN’ HOT

Ciel: Don’t you think that’s cutting it a little close?

Sebastian: I’m an adrenaline junkie, son, I need the rush, but I’ll admit these are stressful times

— the next day on the ride to school —

Ciel: So are we just not gonna talk about your luncheon—

Sebastian: My luncheon was terrific.

Ciel: You can’t be serious

Sebastian: I think my luncheon was lovely, son.

Ciel: I heard you describing it to Agni as “elegant and fun”—

Sebastian: Elegant and fun, that’s correct, which it was. Wouldn’t you say it was elegant and fun?

Ciel: Which part, when you screamed “I’m simply one hell of a host” while juggling all of our knives, or when you let forty-six of your cats swarm the dining room?

Sebastian: 

Sebastian: Both

Ciel: Also, remind me, why is the Bose player in the back seat?

Sebastian: … I need to get it repaired at media services after I drop you off

Ciel: Mhm. And how did it break?

Sebastian: The volume… somehow got… maxed out or something. I don’t really know

Ciel: Uh-huh. Might that have been from you blaring Andrea Bocelli at the maximum volume for upwards of seven minutes?

Sebastian: Oh look, it’s your school. Have a smart day, son

Ciel: Yeah, bye